Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Venus fly trap "A book of Poetry & Writing
91 total reviews
Comment from Eric1
Wonderful piece of writing covering that age old thing temptation, well the dark eyed girl took him for every penny he had, a brilliant subject brilliantly written!
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Wonderful piece of writing covering that age old thing temptation, well the dark eyed girl took him for every penny he had, a brilliant subject brilliantly written!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Ekim777
It sounds like a modern styled love affair to cover for the loneliness which is the scourge of our age. Something clicked and then the experience is over. I call it the Faustian syndrome. The devil offers us all the experience we can take in exchange for our souls. We accept and become victims to temptation and sin. Eliot illustrates it well enough. "When lovely lady stoops to folly/ And paces around her room again alone.? She smooth's her hair with automatic hand,/And puts a record on the gramophone.?"
As for the innocent partner. He sinned through compliance and acceptance. Like I said, isolation is the scourge of our age.
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It sounds like a modern styled love affair to cover for the loneliness which is the scourge of our age. Something clicked and then the experience is over. I call it the Faustian syndrome. The devil offers us all the experience we can take in exchange for our souls. We accept and become victims to temptation and sin. Eliot illustrates it well enough. "When lovely lady stoops to folly/ And paces around her room again alone.? She smooth's her hair with automatic hand,/And puts a record on the gramophone.?"
As for the innocent partner. He sinned through compliance and acceptance. Like I said, isolation is the scourge of our age.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Glasstruth
Heartfelt. Something that we all go through. A love that's not to be. The writing is almost a spontaneous flow. Just feel that some of the rhyming is there to just rhyme. I mean it seemed too noticable. Like the ending. Poor Adam gets the blame again. Well done. Les
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Heartfelt. Something that we all go through. A love that's not to be. The writing is almost a spontaneous flow. Just feel that some of the rhyming is there to just rhyme. I mean it seemed too noticable. Like the ending. Poor Adam gets the blame again. Well done. Les
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This poem has truth and honest in couple. Very nice flow, very well written. I enjoyed reading this piece, but, I hated the ending.
Good job Deepwater!
:)
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This poem has truth and honest in couple. Very nice flow, very well written. I enjoyed reading this piece, but, I hated the ending.
Good job Deepwater!
:)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from RGstar
I guess we learn by our mistakes, and hindsight our worst enemies.
You never know, eyes have a way of changing directions when you least expect.
Good tribute, even though something lost, what is now gained is experience.
Best wishes,
RGstar
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I guess we learn by our mistakes, and hindsight our worst enemies.
You never know, eyes have a way of changing directions when you least expect.
Good tribute, even though something lost, what is now gained is experience.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Poet,
Love the sign... I live near Reno, Nevada, and it's almost that easy, lol. I appreciated your expressed feelings of love and life in this insightful write. We give so much time and effort, (and money!) to some endeavors that never come to fruition, but, as you state in your last line, man has always been tripped by the look of fancy...nice! Later, Bill
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Hello Poet,
Love the sign... I live near Reno, Nevada, and it's almost that easy, lol. I appreciated your expressed feelings of love and life in this insightful write. We give so much time and effort, (and money!) to some endeavors that never come to fruition, but, as you state in your last line, man has always been tripped by the look of fancy...nice! Later, Bill
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. Clever poem, with good candence and rhyme scheme.
Ya, I saw the title and the song started running through my head.
It was a fun read.
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Hi. Clever poem, with good candence and rhyme scheme.
Ya, I saw the title and the song started running through my head.
It was a fun read.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from sibhus
Sad thohgts of that may-december romance, which today is not as taboo, but here are always the well wishing friends and family. Good poem that so much in the rhymes of your well crafted words.
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Sad thohgts of that may-december romance, which today is not as taboo, but here are always the well wishing friends and family. Good poem that so much in the rhymes of your well crafted words.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Fleedleflump
I think this might have worked better without any end rhymes as some of them feel over-worked. It feels a little wordy in places and that spoiled the flow for me. There's a well-expressed poem in here, I just think it needs some trimming and refining to be more effective. Some lovely turns of phrase and a subject many guys will relate to!
Mike
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I think this might have worked better without any end rhymes as some of them feel over-worked. It feels a little wordy in places and that spoiled the flow for me. There's a well-expressed poem in here, I just think it needs some trimming and refining to be more effective. Some lovely turns of phrase and a subject many guys will relate to!
Mike
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Petriesan
this has a palpable poignancy. Men never do learn. I Suppose that is, in the end, a good thing.
Very touching tale here
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this has a palpable poignancy. Men never do learn. I Suppose that is, in the end, a good thing.
Very touching tale here
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
