Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Venus fly trap "A book of Poetry & Writing
91 total reviews
Comment from lappmellott
I think your poem is well written, although I don't completely agree with the content. I still believe it takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage. Good luck on you poetry.
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I think your poem is well written, although I don't completely agree with the content. I still believe it takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage. Good luck on you poetry.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from Eternal Muse
Beautiful, soft and timeless, like love itself. Excellent artistic presentation.
So soft and smooth your hands touch mine,
Your voice with tremors of love,
Your eyes invite with reflection of dare,
Two sprites, so intertwined
Those evoke great visuals. I had a smile on my face when I saw a sign next to the picture ("Rent me?") lol.
Thank you for sharing this with us, love, Y.
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Beautiful, soft and timeless, like love itself. Excellent artistic presentation.
So soft and smooth your hands touch mine,
Your voice with tremors of love,
Your eyes invite with reflection of dare,
Two sprites, so intertwined
Those evoke great visuals. I had a smile on my face when I saw a sign next to the picture ("Rent me?") lol.
Thank you for sharing this with us, love, Y.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi deepwater,
Indeed, the woman's 'wiles' have been the man's downfall since the beginning, but can we seriously blame our own gullibility on her?
Good poem, it reads well, and carries an image of folly cuckolded ...
Patrick
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Hi deepwater,
Indeed, the woman's 'wiles' have been the man's downfall since the beginning, but can we seriously blame our own gullibility on her?
Good poem, it reads well, and carries an image of folly cuckolded ...
Patrick
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from CR Delport
This is actually quite sad. A lost love always is. I suppose a happy marriage takes a lot of hard work. This is very well written.
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This is actually quite sad. A lost love always is. I suppose a happy marriage takes a lot of hard work. This is very well written.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from freepass
Very good poem and poetry
I liked it
It was very good showed emotion as well
I'll be giving it
5 very big stars*****
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Very good poem and poetry
I liked it
It was very good showed emotion as well
I'll be giving it
5 very big stars*****
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from Louise Michelle
Some people are cruel and like to take advantage of others. When I read the part about all that money spent, I felt like screaming. Great rhymes and rhythm here. Hugs, Lou
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Some people are cruel and like to take advantage of others. When I read the part about all that money spent, I felt like screaming. Great rhymes and rhythm here. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from Malachai
What more can be; this dark eyed girl,
this woman by my side?
She's more than any old man would dream,
to have, as his bride.
These two stanzas are awkward the last stanza needs another syllable for cadence.
Wine and survive do not rhyme
Faill I think you meant fall. I would separate the poem into long couplets and rework some end rhyme. The thoughts behind the poem are very very good.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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What more can be; this dark eyed girl,
this woman by my side?
She's more than any old man would dream,
to have, as his bride.
These two stanzas are awkward the last stanza needs another syllable for cadence.
Wine and survive do not rhyme
Faill I think you meant fall. I would separate the poem into long couplets and rework some end rhyme. The thoughts behind the poem are very very good.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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don't see a Faill in the lines ?
Comment from Bobby Jo
This tells a tale of love gone wrong. I felt the sadness in the poem. I feel that many are lead a stray. Money can't buy love. Good job.
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This tells a tale of love gone wrong. I felt the sadness in the poem. I feel that many are lead a stray. Money can't buy love. Good job.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from artisart4u
The title of the chapter fits the story very well.
The brown eye girl trapped the man then went on.
Your explanation about men being weak, is very good.
Good luck with your book.
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The title of the chapter fits the story very well.
The brown eye girl trapped the man then went on.
Your explanation about men being weak, is very good.
Good luck with your book.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
Comment from Hareem.S
I like your writtings from the heart. YOu have used good expression here and the imagery is very vivid. The rhyme is also good.
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I like your writtings from the heart. YOu have used good expression here and the imagery is very vivid. The rhyme is also good.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
