As Fragile is the Love
a pantoum sonnet - see contest rules124 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
Brooke, this Write a Pantoum Sonnet contest entry is well worded with interesting meter. The rhyming scheme follows the prescribed parameters of a Pantoum. Well done. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Brooke, this Write a Pantoum Sonnet contest entry is well worded with interesting meter. The rhyming scheme follows the prescribed parameters of a Pantoum. Well done. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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GracieAnn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Winslow
Dear Brooke,
It is impossible to withhold my love for you. Aren't grandkids great? Good rhyming and flow in this verse.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Dear Brooke,
It is impossible to withhold my love for you. Aren't grandkids great? Good rhyming and flow in this verse.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Winslow, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a beautifully written pantoum sonnet Brooke. Great rhyme and meter. Cute Sawyer picture:) Good luck to you in the contest.
Teresa
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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This is a beautifully written pantoum sonnet Brooke. Great rhyme and meter. Cute Sawyer picture:) Good luck to you in the contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Teresa :-) Brooke
Comment from Joy Graham
Awesome picture and accompanying poem. You have a true talent for capturing the cuteness of Miranda's photos :) excellent pantoum sonnet. Smooth use of the repeating lines. Good luck in the contest. You have a contender.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Awesome picture and accompanying poem. You have a true talent for capturing the cuteness of Miranda's photos :) excellent pantoum sonnet. Smooth use of the repeating lines. Good luck in the contest. You have a contender.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Joy, thank you so much :-) I appreciate your graciousness. Brooke
Comment from RodG
This is such a difficult format to work within, but you have written a great love poem, Brooke.
I especially like these lines: for hearts will wither if they're not consigned and your final couplet.
Good luck in the contest.
Rod
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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This is such a difficult format to work within, but you have written a great love poem, Brooke.
I especially like these lines: for hearts will wither if they're not consigned and your final couplet.
Good luck in the contest.
Rod
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh no what happened to Nora? Or were they never girlfriend and boy friend.....just friends?....
Brooke as usual this was precious....I sure hope Miranda has another baby because I have loved watching Sawyer grow through your shared poems...awesome
God bless
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Oh no what happened to Nora? Or were they never girlfriend and boy friend.....just friends?....
Brooke as usual this was precious....I sure hope Miranda has another baby because I have loved watching Sawyer grow through your shared poems...awesome
God bless
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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kiwijenny, thank you so much :-) Nora is his honorary big sister. Miranda has been Nora's nanny since she was born, so Nora eagerly awaited his birth and was one of the first people to meet him. She tells everyone, and I mean anyone who will listen, that he is her little brother, not like her little brother, but her little brother. So, no romance between them, a different kind of love :-) Brooke
Comment from Eternal Muse
A beautiful Pantoum Sonnet with a striking picture so befitting the theme.
Your iambs are flawless, of course; the flow is smooth and gentle. Emotive and effective.
Some striking lines:
for hearts will wither if they're not consigned,
and I would surely die if you were gone.
I can't refuse to follow love's design
no more than day withholds its light from dawn.
The second line gave my heart a lurch
A perfect piece of work, Brooke. The only thing, and it is personal, I am not too crazy about that color scheme. You use it quite a bit, and again, it is a personal thing - perhaps, my eyesight is failing, but that scheme is slightly jarring for this reader.
Good luck in the contest; needless to say, that would be one of the top contenders.
Love, Y.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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A beautiful Pantoum Sonnet with a striking picture so befitting the theme.
Your iambs are flawless, of course; the flow is smooth and gentle. Emotive and effective.
Some striking lines:
for hearts will wither if they're not consigned,
and I would surely die if you were gone.
I can't refuse to follow love's design
no more than day withholds its light from dawn.
The second line gave my heart a lurch
A perfect piece of work, Brooke. The only thing, and it is personal, I am not too crazy about that color scheme. You use it quite a bit, and again, it is a personal thing - perhaps, my eyesight is failing, but that scheme is slightly jarring for this reader.
Good luck in the contest; needless to say, that would be one of the top contenders.
Love, Y.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Yelena, for your most thoughtful comments. I so appreciate your encouragement. I'm sorry the color scheme bothers you - is it the background color, the font color, the combination? Nobody else has ever commented on it or I would have contemplated using a different scheme. What kind of coloration do you prefer?
Brooke
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I think, it's the white text color against the green background. Perhaps, other text color would be more effective. I don't know which, could be light, but something other than white.
Again, it is a personal thing.
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I just changed it to a light mint green. Does that work better for you?
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It's better, Brooke. Less jarring to my eyes.
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:-)
Comment from c_lucas
Love is a strong emotion that can survive either side of the Veil, but can be crust by a single inappropriate act. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Love is a strong emotion that can survive either side of the Veil, but can be crust by a single inappropriate act. This is very well written.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Charlie :-) Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Glasstruth
Love has no boundaries. As emotions are like the wild ocean, when waves splash, you'll get wet. You picked a good first line to set the mood, as it's repeated, the meaning just becomes stronger. Very nicely penned. Les
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
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Love has no boundaries. As emotions are like the wild ocean, when waves splash, you'll get wet. You picked a good first line to set the mood, as it's repeated, the meaning just becomes stronger. Very nicely penned. Les
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
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Les, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Adri7enne
Lovely, Brooke. I had fun looking for the repeated lines and how they changed places. I guess that's how the Pantoum works.
Sawyer and his little friend sure seem to be having fun.
Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Lovely, Brooke. I had fun looking for the repeated lines and how they changed places. I guess that's how the Pantoum works.
Sawyer and his little friend sure seem to be having fun.
Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Adrienne, I'm so glad you enjoyed the pantoum pattern. Thank you so much for your generous sixth star. Sawyer and Chloe are a match made in Heaven. :-) Brooke
