Comment from Victoria K

Excellent

What a beautifully expressive poem, and you have accomplished this within the constraints of a triolet format.

I love how the sentence "Come, warm me now with love's bright flame" is structured to carry 3 separate meanings. Although you incorporate the same words, the use of different punctuation each time alters where the sentence begins and ends. The effect is that you are able to express new ideas, rather than a regurgitation of the same line. Very clever!

Extremely well done :)

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks, Victoria. Yes, I like to fiddle with the repeating line if possible, to give slightly altered meaning.

Steve

Comment from robina1978

Exceptional

I love the photo that complements your triolet extremely well. We all need comfort at times and warmth. Best wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words and the six stars.

Steve

Comment from GabbyLew

Exceptional

Wow! This triolet is absolutely amazing!

All the interpretations of "Come warm me now with love's bright flame" are brilliant and brought this poem to a whole new level.

You obviously spent time constructing this poem because it is perfect technically.

This was my first introduction to a triolet, and after reading how it's constructed, I am truly impressed with this poem and with you as a poet.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thank you, Gabby - so glad you liked this little romantic piece.

Yes, I like to vary the punctuation on the repeating line to add meaning and variety - it worked well this time, I think.

Have a try sometime - it's not as difficult as you might think.

Steve

Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

Beautifully done, with acres of backstory behind the existing lines. The "beasts of blame" line is quite audacious, but it fits the general theme of the poem, and certainly matches up as a continuation of the thought in the "shame" line.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks, Sally.

Always a good idea to leave the reader with something for his/her imagination to work on.

Steve

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a beautiful love poem! bring light to those who live in darkness! better to have loved and lost than never loved anyone..
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Rebekka.

Steve

Comment from Schalk Jacobs

Excellent

An excellent triolet. Well executed and complying with all the necessary requirements. Brilliant imagery that your works paint and I enjoyed the similarities between light/darkness and love/sadness. All the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

Warmth indeed with this write, Steve. A well altered repeating line that does not at all hinder.
The message is loud and clear, and the image suite your write beautifully.
Good luck in the competition.
Best wishes,
RGstar

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from DSchlosser

Excellent

I am not much on poetry and had to look up a triolet to figure out how it was put together to determine how this was written. I like the poem itself because it's very comforting and adding the artwork to the poem makes it feels more so. Good job!

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Marn

Excellent

This is beautifully written and can sense the emotion in this poetry.The artwork suits the words and it flows really well.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Exceptional

This is a very lovely Triolet. All the rules for this type of poem have been followed perfectly - all the repeated lines are in the correct place and the rhyme scheme abaaabab is perfect. The whole flows well and you have produced such a lovely poem. I love the use of alliteration and metaphor in 'prowling beasts of blame' - Well done. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Dorothy, thanks so much for the generous review and the six shiny stars.

Steve