Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Your writing style is interesting. Reading this chapter it seems your are using a multiple person omnipresent point of view, as you through each character. Very interesting.

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 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

POV is something I'm trying to get a handle on. That is what I'm attempting with mixed results. Glad you find it interesting. That is encouraging. It's funny, when I first started here I was the greatest writer in the world. Hahaha. mikey

Comment from DanielEkine

Excellent

I love the expressiveness of this work. Very narrative, very defined and put together. The reading flows very well.

""Yes. Beauregard, I mean. Beauregard." Junior jumped up and went to the receptionist's window. "I need a chip put in my daughter's pet rat."
Outstanding paragraph. One of your paragraphs is joined to the other. Just edit that and you will be fine.

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 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

Those are great words to hear! Thank you very much. I'll take a look at that as you suggest. Most encouraging and appreciated, mikey