Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Vegas Bound"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
12 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I've been away, catching up. Your story has some interesting subplots and it is well thought out. I like the intrigue and the interplay with the detectives and the other characters. Enjoyable as always. Faye
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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I've been away, catching up. Your story has some interesting subplots and it is well thought out. I like the intrigue and the interplay with the detectives and the other characters. Enjoyable as always. Faye
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Away huh? Good, that means more poems! Glad you liked this. Trying to get all the folks in the same general vicinity. Thank you much, mikey
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Yes, when I go off with my daughter two weeks today I will be touring Wales, with mountains, castles, etc. But I wont be reviewing, no time. You're very welcome. Faye
Comment from ravenblack
A cat shit connoseur - with or without chips of clay, mr. Blackwell, and will that be shaken or stirred? ( yes, I know you were referring to Barry, but what the hell). Dr. Kartoonian- a reference to Roger Rabbit or Kevorkian? And Samson possibly passing the chip- good catch. I was going to mention that possibility.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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A cat shit connoseur - with or without chips of clay, mr. Blackwell, and will that be shaken or stirred? ( yes, I know you were referring to Barry, but what the hell). Dr. Kartoonian- a reference to Roger Rabbit or Kevorkian? And Samson possibly passing the chip- good catch. I was going to mention that possibility.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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See, you have me trained. I'm trying to anticipate what you're going to point out. Hahaha. I think Barry is going to turn out to be a slob and not clean the cat carrier...
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Reminds me of my cat, KiKi. I was coming home from South Dakota in the winter, speeding down 90 East. Had the cat in the car, the litter box in the back (a hatch back). Anyway, a cop pulled me over for speeding and as he was waking to my car, KiKi took an eye-watering, nostril hair curling shit. The cop knocked on the window, I rolled it down, and he visibly recoiled from the stench. I was so proud of Kiki. Still got a ticket though.
Comment from CR Delport
The chip comes in very handy for tracking Barry. Susan seems unaware that they know she's involved. Another great chapter.
But, Susan remained at the top of their list." --- out of place quotations.
Lucy already had her listening device on pointed in the direction Lucy left in. --- and pointed in the direction of Susan.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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The chip comes in very handy for tracking Barry. Susan seems unaware that they know she's involved. Another great chapter.
But, Susan remained at the top of their list." --- out of place quotations.
Lucy already had her listening device on pointed in the direction Lucy left in. --- and pointed in the direction of Susan.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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I wish I had it permantly in the cat though. Hahaha. I guess I'll just have Barry be a slob and leave the cat box in his car or comething... I guess there's two schools on the quote marks. Americans put them out and Europeans and others put them in. Yeah, I have to fix that sentence, It only makes sense to me, and when I read it, not to me either...
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter gain mate. Can't decide if it is more like Get Smart or Lost in Space or something.
Some spags.
Lucy already had her listening device on (, or ;)pointed in the direction Lucy left in.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Great chapter gain mate. Can't decide if it is more like Get Smart or Lost in Space or something.
Some spags.
Lucy already had her listening device on (, or ;)pointed in the direction Lucy left in.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Yeah. I gotta fix that sentence. I know what it means, but it sure doesn't say it. Hahaha.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Can they just hop in a jet and fly without first getting permission to land and a time to do it? They'll have to call ahead.
Love Samson having the chip... no matter how you explain it. I'd stick with eating the damn rat, myself. Angela is too spoiled.. she needs a real-life disappointment. Besides, she'll be so happy to be rescued, the rat will be the least of her worries, I would think. Who would have a pet rat, anyway? What a weird girl she is... LOL!
Lucy already had her listening device on pointed in the direction Lucy left in. << You might want to reword this sentence... clumsy, don't you think? I'm not even sure what it means.
Susan is a witch. Some people don't deserve children. I can't even imagine what kind of mother lets her daughter suffer such fear! Just so she can get more money? Lots of possibilities with this character. I'd like to see you illustrate her inhuman nature even more, with backstory on other disgusting, greedy things she's done. I want to HATE her, not just be perplexed. :)
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Can they just hop in a jet and fly without first getting permission to land and a time to do it? They'll have to call ahead.
Love Samson having the chip... no matter how you explain it. I'd stick with eating the damn rat, myself. Angela is too spoiled.. she needs a real-life disappointment. Besides, she'll be so happy to be rescued, the rat will be the least of her worries, I would think. Who would have a pet rat, anyway? What a weird girl she is... LOL!
Lucy already had her listening device on pointed in the direction Lucy left in. << You might want to reword this sentence... clumsy, don't you think? I'm not even sure what it means.
Susan is a witch. Some people don't deserve children. I can't even imagine what kind of mother lets her daughter suffer such fear! Just so she can get more money? Lots of possibilities with this character. I'd like to see you illustrate her inhuman nature even more, with backstory on other disgusting, greedy things she's done. I want to HATE her, not just be perplexed. :)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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I had a girlfriend with a pet rat. It's the only fear I have. (rats not girlfriends) Of course I had to pick the damn thing up! Yeah, she was strange. A great writer though. Good suggestions, I believe I will take them! mikey
Comment from ProjectBluebook
I had to go to your portfolio to get your post. I accidently deleted it. My bad. It's a cat & mouse game. So, Barry got dumped. He must of been a decoy. I wonder how they are going to pull off the money grab without getting caught. Wow, two private jets. The Bard can fly a jet? He can do it all can't he. The suspense is thickening. Time to exterminate some sewer rats! Hope the girl is alright? Will that cat take a dump? That microchip must have some secrets? Listen to me babble lie the Bard, no, you are? Your writing skills are improving, one day you will be #1. We need a new king? She want fall easily, student will dethrone the teacher. (humor) i'm looking into dat" dar' stream. I see--six gold nuggets dredging the bottom. I read this carefully. I focus on the story, I don't bother myself with wee spelling errors to interfere with me focus. I see no SPAG issues. I will leave that to the SPAG police. Heck, I just jumped bail. got me on four counts of using too many , three counts of -, talking out of order five accuzations. Whoiops, just made another SPAG. (All Humor) courtroom restored. You are the best, Lion King.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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I had to go to your portfolio to get your post. I accidently deleted it. My bad. It's a cat & mouse game. So, Barry got dumped. He must of been a decoy. I wonder how they are going to pull off the money grab without getting caught. Wow, two private jets. The Bard can fly a jet? He can do it all can't he. The suspense is thickening. Time to exterminate some sewer rats! Hope the girl is alright? Will that cat take a dump? That microchip must have some secrets? Listen to me babble lie the Bard, no, you are? Your writing skills are improving, one day you will be #1. We need a new king? She want fall easily, student will dethrone the teacher. (humor) i'm looking into dat" dar' stream. I see--six gold nuggets dredging the bottom. I read this carefully. I focus on the story, I don't bother myself with wee spelling errors to interfere with me focus. I see no SPAG issues. I will leave that to the SPAG police. Heck, I just jumped bail. got me on four counts of using too many , three counts of -, talking out of order five accuzations. Whoiops, just made another SPAG. (All Humor) courtroom restored. You are the best, Lion King.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Hey. The Galaxy man. Spreading the milky way across my universe!!! I don't know, I'm just treading water trying to figure out where everyone is going and what they're doing. Hahaha. I need to come up with something pretty quick though. I'm halfway into the book, I need a plot!!!! Muchos Gracias Do Loco Bravo
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Yo mate, I'm one of those guys who lies lots of characters. Lots of writers seemingly frown upon oodles of characters. I can handle it if they can keep up. Maybe, a new character. Hey, put Wayne Newton in the casino!!! He attracts attention and girls.
Comment from nordicgirl
Yes!! Perfect. This is so smooth. Somehow you have managed to get the whole focus shifted to las Vegas in barely a chapter. And it is all smooth and logical. Winston is back in a more conventional bad guy role... it seems!!! Here we go! NG
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Yes!! Perfect. This is so smooth. Somehow you have managed to get the whole focus shifted to las Vegas in barely a chapter. And it is all smooth and logical. Winston is back in a more conventional bad guy role... it seems!!! Here we go! NG
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Thank you kindly. Pleased you like the direction!! mikey
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, a homeless poetry spouting mentally ill man...LOL...your killing me you...LOL...
Lucy already had her listening device pointed in the direction Lucy left in...do you mean Susan left in...
I could be wrong...LOL..
Ok now we are headed for Vegas
and Susan is talking to Barry...they know but won't tell her..grab the loot and lets go you...next!!! Luff Linda xxoolove it!!!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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OMG Michael, a homeless poetry spouting mentally ill man...LOL...your killing me you...LOL...
Lucy already had her listening device pointed in the direction Lucy left in...do you mean Susan left in...
I could be wrong...LOL..
Ok now we are headed for Vegas
and Susan is talking to Barry...they know but won't tell her..grab the loot and lets go you...next!!! Luff Linda xxoolove it!!!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Who knows with that lovely sentence. The meaning was left in my brain!! I'll fix it. Lucy had the listening device and Lucy pointed it in Susan's direction. It doesn't say that does it? Hahaha. So pleased you enjoyed. The Bart is a blast to write. He says every crazy thing that pops into my head!! mikey
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Ya nut!!!and yes he is a blast...he is you....LOL....just trying to be apart of your story...your getting into it...later you...Luff xxoo
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
determine wheter (whether)
here of go to Vegas?" (or go)
Well written. You did a great job with the time transitions. Keep up the good work, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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determine wheter (whether)
here of go to Vegas?" (or go)
Well written. You did a great job with the time transitions. Keep up the good work, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Hi. I'm so happy to here that. I have a tendency to lose track of what is happening when! (in life too!!) I fixed those two errors. Good catches. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from seaglass
Off to Sin City. More explanation about the rat chip was helpful. Susan's guilt is now clearly and unmistakably defined. Looks like They'll bring down the whole Fam Damily.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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Off to Sin City. More explanation about the rat chip was helpful. Susan's guilt is now clearly and unmistakably defined. Looks like They'll bring down the whole Fam Damily.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014
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It must've been the late hour, but Fam Damily cracked me up for an hour! Yeah, my silly cat and rat story left me with a chip that is going to pass through the cat. Susan is a bad girl! More to come. mikey
