Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

I'm back home in your arms
Been a time since I've been gone
It is your love that really calms
You're that distant star that shone

Consider:

I'm back home in your arms
Been a time since I've been gone
It's your love that really calms
You're that distant star that shone

I'm back home in your arms
We are now back here together
I'm captured by your charms
And will be here forever

Consider:

I'm back home in your arms
Now we're both back here together
I'm so captured by your charms
And will be here forever

The rest of this lovely, sentimentally touching song/poem looks perfect to me, and it is still fine just as you've written it, without any changes.

Great work, Dip! I wish I played a guitar!

~DK~

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014

Thanks so much buddy I will revisit and rework
as always and with the greatest respect

your fanstory/facebook friend, Dipster

reply by Dean Kuch on 15-Jun-2014

No problem-o, dipster!

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Your that star - You're
Effective use of repetition to emphasize your strong emotion
good use of abab rhyming including the good proximate rhyme of forever together
Nice romantic tone throughout
I really like the chorus and can imagine it being set to music :-)
Brooke

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014

Thanks Brooke I love the way you decipher you don't miss a trick I deliberately left "your" instead of you're because I do make that error all the time and I actually promoted this poem knowing that would be the only poem you could review that had not been reviewed twice..and you never let me down you anal little thing you! lol

xxdip

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

so you have sorry i fell asleep at the keyboard last night lack of sleep from oversees lol

reply by adewpearl on 16-Jun-2014

You are forgiven LOL

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

If I had a piano or a guitar, I would try. Your lyrics are warm and lovely and I hope someone does. Your rhyming worked well, good choice of words and a smooth flow. Enjoyable as always. I spotted an error-hope you don't mind-verse 1, line 4, should read, 'you're'. Faye

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 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014

thanks faye I always do that as well as not do a capital "I"
xxdip

Comment from Marn

Excellent

This poetry has a folk song feel.Nice flowing piece of art. I liked the way I could visualise the story.Rhymes well.Nice work

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 Comment Written 15-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014

thanks so much Mam much appreciated

dip