Back home in your arms
A love song of coming home24 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Back home in your arms' is an extremely well-written and heart-warming piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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'Back home in your arms' is an extremely well-written and heart-warming piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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wow what a positive and heartwarming review I am forever grateful
xxxdip
DR DIP, you're very welcome, and certainly deserved the wow review.
With my best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Eric1
lovely lyrics for a lovely song, it would have been nice to hear it set to music though, I like the linking first lines they work very well, perhaps you should put this to music, or as you say, get someone out there to do it for you, Good luck!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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lovely lyrics for a lovely song, it would have been nice to hear it set to music though, I like the linking first lines they work very well, perhaps you should put this to music, or as you say, get someone out there to do it for you, Good luck!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Eric I am tone deaf that's is why I put it out there hoping someone musically inclined could add a tune lol
thanks for the positive review
dip
Comment from comanalbert
You choosed a great photo . This poem it is so emotional , so full of endless love . I believe your poem it sounds great as a song because this poem has beautiful lyrics .I love it. Great work .
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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You choosed a great photo . This poem it is so emotional , so full of endless love . I believe your poem it sounds great as a song because this poem has beautiful lyrics .I love it. Great work .
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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thankyou so much albert really appreciate your positive comments
dip
Comment from royowen
Dear dip, This wouldn't qualify as a song, your meter varies from verse to verse, it would require a major overhaul to even out the timing, you could start by evening out the syllable count! I am songwriter, still am, I was before I was a poet! It's ok as a poem, but the syllable police would be down on you like a ton of bricks. That's were the crafting comes in. If you have a look in my portfolio you'll see two songs that where recorded in the studio, "Ageless beauty" is one "I'll remember" is another, you'll see what I mean! They were released as singles! Otherwise good basis for a song! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Dear dip, This wouldn't qualify as a song, your meter varies from verse to verse, it would require a major overhaul to even out the timing, you could start by evening out the syllable count! I am songwriter, still am, I was before I was a poet! It's ok as a poem, but the syllable police would be down on you like a ton of bricks. That's were the crafting comes in. If you have a look in my portfolio you'll see two songs that where recorded in the studio, "Ageless beauty" is one "I'll remember" is another, you'll see what I mean! They were released as singles! Otherwise good basis for a song! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thanks Roy I really do appreciate your advice and expertise and input and true the syllable police WOULD have a ball.
but be as it may I have listened to many many lyrics in my 60 yeARS ON THIS EARTH AND WHEN I HERE SOME OF THE LAUGHABLE ONES WHO DO NOT FOLLOW ANY SYLLABIC COUNT I KNOW anything is allowable lol
seriously I am not that fussed about it as a song it was just an acoustic alternative.
I will definitely check out your two songs for sure in the mean time I have just done about 40 reviews in the intent of just getting ONE of my simple bloody rhymes to a feature page because stuffed if I know how other poets get there because I have spent about 6 hours reviewing to get this far.
personally I actually like this one otherwise I would not HAVE PROMOTED IT SO VIGOROUSLY BECAUSE IOT IS RATHER PERSONAL AND FROM THE HEART AND THE POET POLICE CAN TAKE THERE CRITIQUING PENS AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE Haha
MY KEYBOARD GOES IN AND OUT OF CAPS LOK AT WILL I DON'T MEAN TO SHOUT it happens all THE time.
with the greatest respect
your student, dip
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A nice poem with a good rhyme scheme. Rather a conflict here - you say you will be here forever, but then you say 'you always let me roam. However, as a whole it is a nice poem and a good read with an absolutely great picture. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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A nice poem with a good rhyme scheme. Rather a conflict here - you say you will be here forever, but then you say 'you always let me roam. However, as a whole it is a nice poem and a good read with an absolutely great picture. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Dorothy the line you always let me roam is referring to my wife always letting me roam the ocean on my surfing trips don't look too deep into that line it is not talking about insincerity at all as I am sure that is what you are inferring lol
the trouble with some poets here is they are all too consumed in using grandiose metaphorical cryptic lines...My poems however are always very simplistic and heartfelt and "what you see is what you get"
as much as I respect and admire this type of poetry which can be labour thought intensive this simplistic heartfelt style is me and its the way I like to write I CAN write more descriptively and metaphorically but it truly doesn't interest me if you look at virtually everything I post on fanstory it is usually in simple rhyme format which doesnot need much thought provoking on where I am coming from.
this is the beauty of the written word and how one perceives it you'll usually never find me having to give a detailed explanation in my authors notes of what one of my rhymes means
weith the greatest respect
dip
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Hi - Dip, sorry if you thought I was implying insincerity. That never entered my mind at all. I did think of just perhaps going off for periods, holidays etc. No offence intended. Regards Dorothy
Comment from dennis0530
This is writing about a homecoming to the warmth of a love and home. "Home is where the heart is" could very well be a sub-title to this poem-song.
Though this might be writing about a lovers' reunion, the accompanying picture also suggests children coming home to a mother's loving arms.
Generates warm feelings in the reader as well.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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This is writing about a homecoming to the warmth of a love and home. "Home is where the heart is" could very well be a sub-title to this poem-song.
Though this might be writing about a lovers' reunion, the accompanying picture also suggests children coming home to a mother's loving arms.
Generates warm feelings in the reader as well.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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thanks dennis, appreciate your review , comments and observations
dip
Comment from w.j.debi
The poem sounds so romantic, but pairing it with the picture puts a whole new twist to it and gives it the wider meaning of all types of love. Nice rhymes and near rhymes.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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The poem sounds so romantic, but pairing it with the picture puts a whole new twist to it and gives it the wider meaning of all types of love. Nice rhymes and near rhymes.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thankyou W.j. for going to the trouble of reviewing my humble little piece much appreciated.
normally I am inspired by the picture to write the poem but this time the words came to me as I pondered and reminisced of going home on my last day on the island where I had been staying and surfing everyday.
much appreciated
dip
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your lyrics--I hope someone steps up with music for them--unfortunately, I can't write music and a have a stack of songs without homes! I especially enjoyed your rhymed quatrains and the "little white dove" metaphor in the chorus. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you for sharing your lyrics--I hope someone steps up with music for them--unfortunately, I can't write music and a have a stack of songs without homes! I especially enjoyed your rhymed quatrains and the "little white dove" metaphor in the chorus. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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I would really love someone to have a go at a tune to suit the lyrics
thanks for your positive review and warm comments
dip
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Fingers crossed! -Joan
Comment from TAB_that's me
It does have a song feel to it. You captured your thoughts well in this piece. Great rhyme and meter and I loved the picture that you used with it.
Teresa
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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It does have a song feel to it. You captured your thoughts well in this piece. Great rhyme and meter and I loved the picture that you used with it.
Teresa
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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thanks Teresa. Would really love someone to add a tune to it for sure!
dip
Comment from ravenblack
A really good song for someone who serves as your beacon, a love to return to when your wanderings are at an end. Sorry.I only know a few chords. Just play trumpet ,drums, and sax.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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A really good song for someone who serves as your beacon, a love to return to when your wanderings are at an end. Sorry.I only know a few chords. Just play trumpet ,drums, and sax.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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No worries Raven I am sure someone will come along and add a tune to it
thanks for your warm comments
dip
