The Sad Saga of Dandy Dan
A poker game with the highest of stakes...81 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another take on what looks like Irish folklore in western style. There are plenty of stories in Irish legend about men pitting their wits against the devil for their souls. I liked this piece a lot. Well done.
  |
This is yet another take on what looks like Irish folklore in western style. There are plenty of stories in Irish legend about men pitting their wits against the devil for their souls. I liked this piece a lot. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am so sorry, but this poem/story deserves a six. WOW OH WOW!! You had me on the edge of my seat, literally. WOW I loved it. I think it's the best story I have ever read on FS.
 |
I am so sorry, but this poem/story deserves a six. WOW OH WOW!! You had me on the edge of my seat, literally. WOW I loved it. I think it's the best story I have ever read on FS.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Well it is easy to see who is going to win this one. How could anyone else possibly come close to competing with such flawless perfection. I stand in awe and pay appropriate homage to a master wordsmith. I wish you all the best in the judging (like you need it LOL) and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
|
Well it is easy to see who is going to win this one. How could anyone else possibly come close to competing with such flawless perfection. I stand in awe and pay appropriate homage to a master wordsmith. I wish you all the best in the judging (like you need it LOL) and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from humpwhistle
Dean, I like your story poem, but I think there is one glaring technical problem. Dan never anted. The game could not continue.
Whose soul will you offer to counter, pray tell?"
Dandy Dan whispered, "Mine," without kidding.
Seems like a technical problem here, Dean. You reveal later that Dan had already sold his soul for his daughter's life. Therefore, he had no ante. No ante, no cards.
Yes, the devil wants his daughter's soul, but that negotiation needs to happen before any cards can be dealt.
I'm not being a smart-ass, Dean. Your notes explain the game, but you overlooked Dan's ante.
Peace, Lee
|
Dean, I like your story poem, but I think there is one glaring technical problem. Dan never anted. The game could not continue.
Whose soul will you offer to counter, pray tell?"
Dandy Dan whispered, "Mine," without kidding.
Seems like a technical problem here, Dean. You reveal later that Dan had already sold his soul for his daughter's life. Therefore, he had no ante. No ante, no cards.
Yes, the devil wants his daughter's soul, but that negotiation needs to happen before any cards can be dealt.
I'm not being a smart-ass, Dean. Your notes explain the game, but you overlooked Dan's ante.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from emrpoems
Thank you for sharing. Don't know much abut those games bu I certainly the way you expressed in poe t ry.
Good abab rhymes
Excellent use of alliteration in the title and throughout the poem.
A story ell told in a poem. All the best in the contest
|
Thank you for sharing. Don't know much abut those games bu I certainly the way you expressed in poe t ry.
Good abab rhymes
Excellent use of alliteration in the title and throughout the poem.
A story ell told in a poem. All the best in the contest
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from royowen
I loved this poem/ story Dean, it was an epic beauty, I really was absorbed in this one, this is obviously your strength! Story writers who write poetry have a real chance! I was enthralled in this well rhymed, even metered poem! It's narrative was descriptively superb, nice easy flow, well done, blessings, Roy.
|
I loved this poem/ story Dean, it was an epic beauty, I really was absorbed in this one, this is obviously your strength! Story writers who write poetry have a real chance! I was enthralled in this well rhymed, even metered poem! It's narrative was descriptively superb, nice easy flow, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from Bryan G
From start to finish this is an outstanding poem. Your subject matter and story telling make this long read worth the effort. Your art work and informative author's note make this one of the best pieces I have seen in a while. Now if I can scare up a game of five card stud I will be doing great.
|
From start to finish this is an outstanding poem. Your subject matter and story telling make this long read worth the effort. Your art work and informative author's note make this one of the best pieces I have seen in a while. Now if I can scare up a game of five card stud I will be doing great.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from Norbanus
A smooth flowing rhythm with excellent end rhymes to present this well structured story/poem. The images presented in verse painted the picture so well that the illustration were not needed
|
A smooth flowing rhythm with excellent end rhymes to present this well structured story/poem. The images presented in verse painted the picture so well that the illustration were not needed
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from RGstar
The rhythm was difficult to maintain on this ABCB structure and at times a little thin, but you held it together despite the length. The end rhymes were good.
It is often more difficult to keep rhythm with story based poems of such length, yet you are a great writer of this form.
Your images, did not overpower the work as they were kept to a good scale and complimented each section perfectly.
I am giving you a six for this work because as a fellow writer that sometimes indulge of the same form of storytelling, yet not lately, I know of the work and time you put into this work.
You kept the focus throughput and it did not become boring or monotonous. It is well written , sometimes picking up certain quirks in the language which accentuated the imagery and feel of the piece.
A very good write and well deserved of my six.
Have a good day
Rgstar
|
The rhythm was difficult to maintain on this ABCB structure and at times a little thin, but you held it together despite the length. The end rhymes were good.
It is often more difficult to keep rhythm with story based poems of such length, yet you are a great writer of this form.
Your images, did not overpower the work as they were kept to a good scale and complimented each section perfectly.
I am giving you a six for this work because as a fellow writer that sometimes indulge of the same form of storytelling, yet not lately, I know of the work and time you put into this work.
You kept the focus throughput and it did not become boring or monotonous. It is well written , sometimes picking up certain quirks in the language which accentuated the imagery and feel of the piece.
A very good write and well deserved of my six.
Have a good day
Rgstar
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh my Dean ...best part was the hacking up of a black mass.......don't we all want that to happen.....I would have to play rook as I have never played poker...this had tension and intrigue the whole ...'scuse me ...hole way through...
Well done...I can't give the devil his due...or I'd have given a six...in reality I think that old double crosser wouldn't honor any bargain.
God bless
|
Oh my Dean ...best part was the hacking up of a black mass.......don't we all want that to happen.....I would have to play rook as I have never played poker...this had tension and intrigue the whole ...'scuse me ...hole way through...
Well done...I can't give the devil his due...or I'd have given a six...in reality I think that old double crosser wouldn't honor any bargain.
God bless
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
