Comment from suneagle

Good

Very nice, Pili, but I've some suggestions for you below:

To yours.
(to yours.)

My senses.
(My senses.)

can't contain
( I can't contain)

is you and me
( as you and I )

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 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from Ryn Martin

Excellent

Hola! Wow, nice job here PP. I didn't see anything wrong at all. I am looking forward to more of your pieces of work. Good luck and godspeed to you. --Monte

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from Eldora

Excellent

Your poetry has a gentle, delicate touch, Pili, and a nice flow.
As I stand
on the soft
crackling sand,
brought
by gentle winds,
your song
reaches me,
caressing
My senses.
I can almost picture myself standing on a beach, experiencing the same sensations.

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 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005