Comment from Ronni

Excellent

This is absolutely stunning, surreal, serene, sensual, sensitive,
eclectic, enchanting, engrossing and so exceptionally conveyed
as if one is cast into a brief but wonderous hypnotic spell. So
gorgeous! Pili...you are truly awesome with this one.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from Lisloh

Excellent

Simply beautiful Pili.

Because you used this picture, I can sense this is written to your understanding of God. I see sheets of hope among the clouds.
As a human being, this could be written to a love that is now not present.
Either way, it works. It's very eloquently stated.
Simply beautiful.
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from sswhiplash

Excellent

You write a lot of poems about separation from your lover. This is an interesting theme. Do you ever get together with this distant lover? Is this reality or based on reality or just a vehicle to present ideas of loneliness and separation? I don't really expect answers to these questions, but they do spring to mind as I read this poem and realize the similarity in theme to many of your previous postings. You develop this simple theme effectively and usually without error. The images are not convoluted. I enjoy the poems.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from DySaintDrama

Excellent

Hi Pili. The only change I'd make is changing the "i" in 5th last line to a capital "I". I really like: "on the soft
crackling sand,
brought
by gentle winds,"

The juxtapostion of soft and crackling is nice. Jeff

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from bfonf

Excellent

Awesome poem, very well written and powerful. Small little typo:

as you and i

Capitalize the 'I' and then you have a perfect poem.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from bayley

Excellent

I read this poem on 2 levels. Firstly it seems like a prayer of gratitude to the entity who created the magnificence that you sense, feel and see. On another level it reads as the most sensual, passionate imploring to the person who ignites the fire in your loving heart. I absolutely love this ~Sean

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from Sarlou

Excellent

This is a beautiful poem!

Lovely visualisation, it really drew on my emotions and imagination.
It flowed well and used beautiful descriptions. What a wonderful feeling.
I get the impression this is about someone far away, someone very special and that not even the immense distance can come between you.

Well done.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from ishta

Excellent

Very divine. I really liked this piece, the pic. accentuated it well. Very good job with a hard topic. You breezed through it like it was easy. Good job, making it look easy.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from sengwriter

Excellent

Let me a bit personal while reviewing your poem, right at the moment, I'm going through some disturbances around me and your poem worked immensly on my turbulant mind. An advance appreciation for that.

Now come to your lines of this poem. How your realization buzzes your mind and soul is always reflected here in your expressions.

Seperations sometimes glorify our aspirations, always remember. So let you be glorified by any detatchment that you're going through.

Words one after another used by you here are superbly glamourised by your true feelings and made the poem so easy to grasp.

Take my best felt commendation for this effort and looking forward for your realizations to be consolidated further.

Gautam

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005

Comment from Sandisan

Excellent

A lovely poem. It speaks to love and passion. I love the wording. The poetry does flow very well. I cannot see anything to change except the i to I.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2005