A Step is not a Journey
quatrains in abcb rhyme160 total reviews
Comment from rouskin
and if there were no footsteps,no distance could be spanned. Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.Very enjoyable read
Blessings, Rouskin
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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and if there were no footsteps,no distance could be spanned. Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.Very enjoyable read
Blessings, Rouskin
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Rouskin, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from bob cullen
You amaze me. You poetry flows so easily off the tongue.
This has great rhyme and the imagery is so easy to picture.
As a matter of interest have you ever had anyone put your lyrics to music, you are a born song writer.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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You amaze me. You poetry flows so easily off the tongue.
This has great rhyme and the imagery is so easy to picture.
As a matter of interest have you ever had anyone put your lyrics to music, you are a born song writer.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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bob, thank you so much for your encouragement :-) Brooke
Comment from Leonardo Wild
Hi adewpearl,
Nice poem, quite thoughtful and expansive in spite of its brevity.
I did have to re-read the second part
--The step that starts a journey
might fade from memory,
just like a single raindrop
that helped to build the sea,
>>There seemed something odd about the flow and the rhythm. Now, I'm not sure you have a rule to follow, but it would sound better like this, in my humble opinion:
>>The step that starts a journey
might fade away from memory,
just like that single raindrop
that helped to build the sea,<<
As you already say raindrops above, I would change the last part like this:
--but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned.
>>but if there was no rain at all,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps, either,
no distance could be spanned. <<
Maybe I'm just messing it up for you, but I was trying to listen to the music and the flow.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Hi adewpearl,
Nice poem, quite thoughtful and expansive in spite of its brevity.
I did have to re-read the second part
--The step that starts a journey
might fade from memory,
just like a single raindrop
that helped to build the sea,
>>There seemed something odd about the flow and the rhythm. Now, I'm not sure you have a rule to follow, but it would sound better like this, in my humble opinion:
>>The step that starts a journey
might fade away from memory,
just like that single raindrop
that helped to build the sea,<<
As you already say raindrops above, I would change the last part like this:
--but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned.
>>but if there was no rain at all,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps, either,
no distance could be spanned. <<
Maybe I'm just messing it up for you, but I was trying to listen to the music and the flow.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your feedback, Leonardo. Brooke
Comment from Lulube
What a great way to show your visions. Love this - a single teardrop that helped to build the sea, no footsteps no distance could be spanned. So easy to see the great imagery in this poem Brooke
lulube
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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What a great way to show your visions. Love this - a single teardrop that helped to build the sea, no footsteps no distance could be spanned. So easy to see the great imagery in this poem Brooke
lulube
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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lulube, thank you so much for your gracious and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
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welcome
lulube
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, brooke, first I love the picture and think a poem could be written about that little footprint that will grow bigger over time. a step is the start of a journey. without the step, we would go nowhere
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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this is very well written, brooke, first I love the picture and think a poem could be written about that little footprint that will grow bigger over time. a step is the start of a journey. without the step, we would go nowhere
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, sweetwoodjax :-) Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
I so enjoyed reading your quatrains, Brooke, with its encouraging message. I like how each verse flows into the next, and your rhymes are great. I also enjoyed Sawyer's footsteps on the sand.
Smile,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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I so enjoyed reading your quatrains, Brooke, with its encouraging message. I like how each verse flows into the next, and your rhymes are great. I also enjoyed Sawyer's footsteps on the sand.
Smile,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Karyn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Cajungirl
I must say that the picture of Sawyer walking on the sand reminded me of Footprints in the Sand. You have a beautiful poem here, one that inspires the reader to think about the journey that we all take in the path of life. We began with one step and hopefully with don't take detours that lead us away from our journey to eternity. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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I must say that the picture of Sawyer walking on the sand reminded me of Footprints in the Sand. You have a beautiful poem here, one that inspires the reader to think about the journey that we all take in the path of life. We began with one step and hopefully with don't take detours that lead us away from our journey to eternity. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Cajungirl, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You are welcome.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming with required/aspired...memory/sea...sand/spanned. Good alliteration with step/starts...made/memory...fade/from...seas/sand. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming with required/aspired...memory/sea...sand/spanned. Good alliteration with step/starts...made/memory...fade/from...seas/sand. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Righteous Riter :-) Brooke
Comment from omerta16
very inspirational poem. it rang true with experience and sagacity without being forceful. good meter and form. great job and thanks for sharing. good pic too. perfect.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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very inspirational poem. it rang true with experience and sagacity without being forceful. good meter and form. great job and thanks for sharing. good pic too. perfect.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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omerta, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from dennis0530
True, a step is not a journey; it is the start of one.
That a step is not a journey is when it turns into hesitancy or a backstep.
Is it a Chinese saying, a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step?
Just like all other all other journeys in life, the initial step starts the motion. It need not be a literal step.
Determination and resolve are the other forms of steps that starts the journey.
A dream or a wish also starts when one says, "I have taken the first step."
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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True, a step is not a journey; it is the start of one.
That a step is not a journey is when it turns into hesitancy or a backstep.
Is it a Chinese saying, a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step?
Just like all other all other journeys in life, the initial step starts the motion. It need not be a literal step.
Determination and resolve are the other forms of steps that starts the journey.
A dream or a wish also starts when one says, "I have taken the first step."
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Dennis, thank you for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
