A Step is not a Journey
quatrains in abcb rhyme160 total reviews
Comment from Smoothiecool
yes each step in life is necessary
just like nature even though the first may never be remembered
good enjambment within verses to allow flow
good rhyme use through out
good alliteration in
steps, starts
sea, sand
cheers..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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yes each step in life is necessary
just like nature even though the first may never be remembered
good enjambment within verses to allow flow
good rhyme use through out
good alliteration in
steps, starts
sea, sand
cheers..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Smoothiecool, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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always welcome
not that I can give you any tips LOL
have a blessed day
cheers..SC >. Faye
Comment from Aussie
You are being very philosophical these days? Loved the sandman. The first step is said to be the hardest and yet, beginning of a journey through life. I loved your ABAB rhyming and the thought you have put into your poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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You are being very philosophical these days? Loved the sandman. The first step is said to be the hardest and yet, beginning of a journey through life. I loved your ABAB rhyming and the thought you have put into your poem.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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kay, thank you for your generous sixth star :-) and yes, feeling philosophical. Brooke
Comment from chasennov
A Step is not a Journey.' No it isn't, but sometimes it starts a journey, as you said. If ever we need to go anywhere, we need always to take that first step. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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A Step is not a Journey.' No it isn't, but sometimes it starts a journey, as you said. If ever we need to go anywhere, we need always to take that first step. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, chasennov :-) Brooke
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You are most welcome, Brooke.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Brooke,
"A Step Is Not a Journey" is excellent quatrain structured poem with good rhyme, figurative language and imagery (seas would turn to sand) It has a good meter and rhyme scheme consistently followed.
Preston
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Hi, Brooke,
"A Step Is Not a Journey" is excellent quatrain structured poem with good rhyme, figurative language and imagery (seas would turn to sand) It has a good meter and rhyme scheme consistently followed.
Preston
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Preston, thank you so much, my generous and gracious friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Winslow
Dear Brooke,
For if there were no beginnings nothing would get done. Great picture of your grandson walking on the beach. How many children do you have?
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Dear Brooke,
For if there were no beginnings nothing would get done. Great picture of your grandson walking on the beach. How many children do you have?
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Winslow, thank you so much :-) I have two children. Eric is 34 and Miranda is 32. Sawyer is her son, my only grandson :-) Brooke
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Dear little Sawyer taking all those little steps. Just love your picture of his little footsteps in the sand. This one really resonated with me, Brooke, because I have a strong memory of moving my feet just a couple of inches when I was losing the ability to walk. I kept on pushing it, 20 minutes to go to the toilet from the lounge room, one step after the other and eventually you'll get to it. Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Dear little Sawyer taking all those little steps. Just love your picture of his little footsteps in the sand. This one really resonated with me, Brooke, because I have a strong memory of moving my feet just a couple of inches when I was losing the ability to walk. I kept on pushing it, 20 minutes to go to the toilet from the lounge room, one step after the other and eventually you'll get to it. Giddy
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Giddy, thank you so much. Your comments are so meaningful, and I so appreciate your sharing that. Brooke
Comment from Kingsland
This poem has a beautiful thought process that just rolls off of the tongue so very easily. But the message in the poem is what is so deserving of these six stars awarded here. This is a poem to be remembered, just outstanding... John
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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This poem has a beautiful thought process that just rolls off of the tongue so very easily. But the message in the poem is what is so deserving of these six stars awarded here. This is a poem to be remembered, just outstanding... John
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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John, thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this poem and for your generous rating :-) Brooke
Comment from tfawcus
A reflective piece with a thought-provoking final stanza:
"but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned."
I am unsure about the use of 'aspired' in the first stanza. I have never seen it used without being followed by 'to' - except in the literary sense of rising higher, in which case the past tense 'is aspired' lies uncomfortably. I read the sense of the line as being 'until it is put into action'. The only alternative that I can think of might be 'until it is attired' - the sense of clothing it suggesting that you are giving it substance.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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A reflective piece with a thought-provoking final stanza:
"but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned."
I am unsure about the use of 'aspired' in the first stanza. I have never seen it used without being followed by 'to' - except in the literary sense of rising higher, in which case the past tense 'is aspired' lies uncomfortably. I read the sense of the line as being 'until it is put into action'. The only alternative that I can think of might be 'until it is attired' - the sense of clothing it suggesting that you are giving it substance.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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I made a conscious choice to use aspire that way though I know it is not "proper." I don't do that often, but I like it here. I was debating whether to do it when one of my favorite songs came to mind - Happy Together by the Turtles - me and you and you and me..happy together - It is totally incorrect and yet I've loved the song for most of my life :-) Thanks so much, tfawcus, for your thoughtful feedback :-) Brooke
Comment from marion
Wow - these words are huge. I love the 'but' -
but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned.
Greta pic, and words. I can't fault it - as always!
Marion.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Wow - these words are huge. I love the 'but' -
but if there were no rain drops,
the seas would turn to sand,
and if there were no footsteps,
no distance could be spanned.
Greta pic, and words. I can't fault it - as always!
Marion.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Marion, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from MAB
Masterful and this beats my quatrain thats for sure. Love how each structure flowed and connected to the next. Very week thought out. You definitely are one of my favorites on here.
SAM
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Masterful and this beats my quatrain thats for sure. Love how each structure flowed and connected to the next. Very week thought out. You definitely are one of my favorites on here.
SAM
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Sam, thank you so very much for your generous sixth star and thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
