Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Susan Grilled & Commerce At Sea"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
10 total reviews
Comment from seaglass
What a jerk! I can't wait until they take him down. What's really disturbing, this sort of thing really is happening everyday.
(The) seemed over-dressed to be at sea. (Did you mean 'they'?)
  |
What a jerk! I can't wait until they take him down. What's really disturbing, this sort of thing really is happening everyday.
(The) seemed over-dressed to be at sea. (Did you mean 'they'?)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, I like the way this is progressing. This installment is cohesive and digs down deeper into the intents of the maleficents and the seeming hopelessness of the innocents. Great dialogue. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
|
Mikey, I like the way this is progressing. This installment is cohesive and digs down deeper into the intents of the maleficents and the seeming hopelessness of the innocents. Great dialogue. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
-
Glad you are enjoying. A fun chapter with some silliness coming up down the line. Love that word, "maleficents". mikey
-
Mikey, spell checker didn't like it. LOL :0 GracieAnn
-
We are smarter than spell checker!
Comment from ravenblack
Please, I like what you are doing with Angela, but don't veer too far out into the waters. Keep land in sight and keep the limelight on the duo who needs to be the focus- The Bard and Tenyaya.
|
Please, I like what you are doing with Angela, but don't veer too far out into the waters. Keep land in sight and keep the limelight on the duo who needs to be the focus- The Bard and Tenyaya.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Enjoyable chapter, I like the tactics of the detectives trying to get Susan to let slip some fact. Now, someone has jumped in to avoid being taken. The plot thickens. Well written. Faye
|
Enjoyable chapter, I like the tactics of the detectives trying to get Susan to let slip some fact. Now, someone has jumped in to avoid being taken. The plot thickens. Well written. Faye
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, no one even tries to help this poor girl...heartbreaking...I must say...I sooooooooo love Bard...Breathe if I'm on to something...doesn't hold back...does he???LOL well lets see what happens to the girls...on my way...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
|
OMG Michael, no one even tries to help this poor girl...heartbreaking...I must say...I sooooooooo love Bard...Breathe if I'm on to something...doesn't hold back...does he???LOL well lets see what happens to the girls...on my way...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
That is an awesome poem right there. I live that you don't cheapen the piece by taking out the excellent poetry to post alone. It does add so much to the story and to the Bard as a unique character. NG
 |
That is an awesome poem right there. I live that you don't cheapen the piece by taking out the excellent poetry to post alone. It does add so much to the story and to the Bard as a unique character. NG
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Hey mate, good chapter. I ain't got much for words. This is shipshape. I won't let others make others pay for their atrocities. I won't give her the satisfaction! I may be absent for a spell. Stars don't do me much good in me pocket. You earn what you get, a hard worker unlike some? Count your doubloons Mikey.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
Hey mate, good chapter. I ain't got much for words. This is shipshape. I won't let others make others pay for their atrocities. I won't give her the satisfaction! I may be absent for a spell. Stars don't do me much good in me pocket. You earn what you get, a hard worker unlike some? Count your doubloons Mikey.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Hey, glad you liked it. I had to post the next chapter. Hahaha. People were thinking that I was going to let Nettie drown. So, I had to post the next chapter where I rescue her in the next paragraph. Some funny crap at the end if you have time. Appreciate all the stars my friend. They make the work worthwhile!! mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Okay, so they're selling kids into slavery for sex or whatever. Good plot idea.
Problems I see:
Barry and the man simply stood there and listened as Antoinette screamed from the water. Barry spoke, "Do you see anyone else that suits your fancy?"
These kids are worth a LOT of money, so no way they would let Nettie drown. This does not sound believable at all.
Also, if Susan knows they are going to sell her daughter for a sex slave, she is more insane than the bard. NO MOTHER does that if she's anywhere near normal. VERY unbelievable.
Spag to fix:
boat that Angela and the other's where on.
boat that Angela and the OTHERS WERE on.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
Okay, so they're selling kids into slavery for sex or whatever. Good plot idea.
Problems I see:
Barry and the man simply stood there and listened as Antoinette screamed from the water. Barry spoke, "Do you see anyone else that suits your fancy?"
These kids are worth a LOT of money, so no way they would let Nettie drown. This does not sound believable at all.
Also, if Susan knows they are going to sell her daughter for a sex slave, she is more insane than the bard. NO MOTHER does that if she's anywhere near normal. VERY unbelievable.
Spag to fix:
boat that Angela and the other's where on.
boat that Angela and the OTHERS WERE on.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Luke told me it would be fun to stop there and start the next chapter with the rescue! Angela is there strictly for the ransom which is a much higher cash amount. But, there is a problem because Barry thinks he controls Elsa and he doesn't. Susan trusts Barry and thinks it's a safe deal strictly for the money. She thinks she is going to come out with the money and her daughter will never know. I'll finish the next chapter right away. Hahaha. I don't want everyone thinking they'll let Nettie drown! mikey
-
Phew! Glad to hear Nettie will be ok. :)
Comment from CR Delport
So Barry's little operation is more than just kidnapping Angela. I suspected, but now it's confirmed. He's probably selling them for sex slaves? Yeah, the Bard is not as crazy as he sounds. This is very well written.
|
So Barry's little operation is more than just kidnapping Angela. I suspected, but now it's confirmed. He's probably selling them for sex slaves? Yeah, the Bard is not as crazy as he sounds. This is very well written.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good stuff mate. If they are holding them for ransom why disregard one that jumps overboard? Thanks for the read still interesting in your own special style hehe.
One spag for ya this time. The(y) seemed over-dressed
|
Good stuff mate. If they are holding them for ransom why disregard one that jumps overboard? Thanks for the read still interesting in your own special style hehe.
One spag for ya this time. The(y) seemed over-dressed
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
