The Grass Grows Greener
a poem in rhyming couplets117 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
I like the overview of this poem quite nicely - in fact - I even think the repetition of hand in hand adds to the lyricality of the flow, as does the echoed phrasing construction. . . but
I rarely (okay never) feel your poems stumble, but somehow, this poem seems sort of out of order. I think it is because the open line reads a little off, ending in be, as it does. It just seems to start off as questionable phrasing. But when I put the first stanza last, for me, it makes more sense in terms of building to a summation/conclusion. And when "as we be" appears after striding and strolling, it somehow plays more suitably.
:-)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
  |
I like the overview of this poem quite nicely - in fact - I even think the repetition of hand in hand adds to the lyricality of the flow, as does the echoed phrasing construction. . . but
I rarely (okay never) feel your poems stumble, but somehow, this poem seems sort of out of order. I think it is because the open line reads a little off, ending in be, as it does. It just seems to start off as questionable phrasing. But when I put the first stanza last, for me, it makes more sense in terms of building to a summation/conclusion. And when "as we be" appears after striding and strolling, it somehow plays more suitably.
:-)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Thank you, Leineco for your thoughtful feedback. Brooke :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
That is so cute. Everyone loves the Cute Little One. This poem is very well written. Makes me long for green grass. Ours are all brown now :(
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
That is so cute. Everyone loves the Cute Little One. This poem is very well written. Makes me long for green grass. Ours are all brown now :(
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, CR :-) Brooke
Comment from Glasstruth
Nice picture. Has very much a sing-song quality. The repetition of "The grass grows greener" moves this right along with a happy-go-lucky feel. Really cheerful! Les
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
Nice picture. Has very much a sing-song quality. The repetition of "The grass grows greener" moves this right along with a happy-go-lucky feel. Really cheerful! Les
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Les, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Hi Brooke, What a sweet poem and photo! I like the unique structure, the repeaters reinforce the message and make me think back many many years ago to the old neighborhood and how wise kids are before the age of reason and all the baggage that follows. Got me thinking about John Mellencamp's song "Everyone needs a hand to hold onto". What a sweet girl Nora is by "adopting" Sawyer as her little brother. I suspect at least some of that love was shown to her by her nanny. Beautiful write!
All the best,
Rodger
save a click
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
Hi Brooke, What a sweet poem and photo! I like the unique structure, the repeaters reinforce the message and make me think back many many years ago to the old neighborhood and how wise kids are before the age of reason and all the baggage that follows. Got me thinking about John Mellencamp's song "Everyone needs a hand to hold onto". What a sweet girl Nora is by "adopting" Sawyer as her little brother. I suspect at least some of that love was shown to her by her nanny. Beautiful write!
All the best,
Rodger
save a click
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, Rodger. You are right - Miranda loves Nora fiercely, and she loves her "Addah" in return. Addah is what she called Miranda as a baby. Many months later when she had learned to talk better, Miranda asked her what her real name was and Nora responded, "Miranda." It was clear she had no intention of calling her that though, and never has. It's like a special name a child has for a grandparent. She still hasn't figured out how Miranda can't be Jewish since she is a family member and all the rest of them are. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from seaglass
This is a sweet rhyming poem that describes friendship I've been with my hubby almost 30 years and we still hold hands wherever we go. It is true that colors are more vivid, skies are bluer, flower fragrances sweeter when shared.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
|
This is a sweet rhyming poem that describes friendship I've been with my hubby almost 30 years and we still hold hands wherever we go. It is true that colors are more vivid, skies are bluer, flower fragrances sweeter when shared.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
seaglass, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
How very very sweet. The love between children cannot be understated, it is the most delightful thing to see... Love in its purest form, I would say. This is a wonderful poem about the power of love. Giddy
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
|
How very very sweet. The love between children cannot be understated, it is the most delightful thing to see... Love in its purest form, I would say. This is a wonderful poem about the power of love. Giddy
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
-
Giddy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ArtGal
Awww, this is so precious! It reminds me of my daughter's twins. Anthony is so protective of his sister, even though they still fight, lol. But they still give each other hugs and kisses, and are the best of friends. I have pictures like this, and I believe that their love for one another does make the grass grow greener! This is just too good. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
|
Awww, this is so precious! It reminds me of my daughter's twins. Anthony is so protective of his sister, even though they still fight, lol. But they still give each other hugs and kisses, and are the best of friends. I have pictures like this, and I believe that their love for one another does make the grass grow greener! This is just too good. . .Sharon
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, Sharon. Now you have me crying at the thought of Sawyer's twin who never got to hold his hand. When Miranda lost him, one of our biggest worries was how she would tell Nora, who was so excited that twins were on their way. About a year ago Nora told Miranda she wished she were God. Miranda asked her why and Nora said that if she were God, she could make it so that Sage had never died. Brooke
-
Oh Brooke, now you have me in tears! This is so very sad, and I'm sorry to hear about this. I don't know how any parent can lose a child, I can't wrap my head around this. What a sweetheart Nora is, to say what she did! God bless that sweet girl, and all of your family! I had to read this to Ron and he said to tell you that he's so sorry about this, and Nora is a very caring and wonderful little girl! And blessings to her that she already knows God.
Comment from janalma
Sweet poem. I like the message of love being shared here. Rhyming is good and content is also. I like the last line--"...making us the perfect we." Very cute.
The pic is adorable.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
|
Sweet poem. I like the message of love being shared here. Rhyming is good and content is also. I like the last line--"...making us the perfect we." Very cute.
The pic is adorable.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
-
janalma, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from tbacha58
The grass grows greener where we stroll,
hand in hand, two hearts made whole,
hand in hand, just you and me,
making us the perfect we.
Hi Brooke, your sweetness in this poem is out of this world, you do know you are unique of your kind. Your poems just flash beautiful lightning ,
your descriptions reflect on the reader so much. You bring peace to ones soul when I read your poems, especially with Sawyer around. Great, beautiful amazing. Love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
|
The grass grows greener where we stroll,
hand in hand, two hearts made whole,
hand in hand, just you and me,
making us the perfect we.
Hi Brooke, your sweetness in this poem is out of this world, you do know you are unique of your kind. Your poems just flash beautiful lightning ,
your descriptions reflect on the reader so much. You bring peace to ones soul when I read your poems, especially with Sawyer around. Great, beautiful amazing. Love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, Terry. You are most gracious :-) Brooke
Comment from ElegantButler
There is nothing more precious or fragile than the brotherhood or sisterhood of childhood friends. It is a glower too often wilted by the inability of the parents to water it properly, and too often is stepped on by the ignorant. Thank you for capturing its importance.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
|
There is nothing more precious or fragile than the brotherhood or sisterhood of childhood friends. It is a glower too often wilted by the inability of the parents to water it properly, and too often is stepped on by the ignorant. Thank you for capturing its importance.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
-
Elegant Butler, thank you so much :-) Brooke
