KayCee
A cautionary tale...66 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
Hi Steve, this is very funny...but does have a bad side to it...my granddaughter stays on her cell the minute school is out..you can't get these kids off the couch from playing the games...very well written...and sooooooooooooooo very true...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Hi Steve, this is very funny...but does have a bad side to it...my granddaughter stays on her cell the minute school is out..you can't get these kids off the couch from playing the games...very well written...and sooooooooooooooo very true...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Linda - I think that's why this has struck a chord with so many people...
Steve
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you are so welcome Steve...luff
Comment from SimplyaStudent
I know a few people who won['t ever go without a phone, much less put the thing down. What you have here was written with humour, but is much to close to the truth to be comfortable. Well written.:) SS
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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I know a few people who won['t ever go without a phone, much less put the thing down. What you have here was written with humour, but is much to close to the truth to be comfortable. Well written.:) SS
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks, SS
Yes, I think this is partly why this has been well received...
Steve
Comment from ravenblack
Are you a fan of Silverstein? Many cautionary tales. I remember one where a boy transformed into a t.v. this is spot- on and damn funny. I am highly appreciative as I have a 14 year old daughter who might just suffer the same fate. Great wit about teens and tech, teens and parents- even your asides (where evidently doctors swore) are hilarious. This poem is a cautionary tale for me- hold your sixes longer than a day.I so wish I had one for you.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Are you a fan of Silverstein? Many cautionary tales. I remember one where a boy transformed into a t.v. this is spot- on and damn funny. I am highly appreciative as I have a 14 year old daughter who might just suffer the same fate. Great wit about teens and tech, teens and parents- even your asides (where evidently doctors swore) are hilarious. This poem is a cautionary tale for me- hold your sixes longer than a day.I so wish I had one for you.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you!
No I had never heard of Silverstein, but I've just spent an enjoyable half hour googling him and found a couple of his cautionary tales. Of course I knew many of the songs he wrote like 'A Boy Called Sue'
Thanks again for the lovely review and the virtual six.
Steve
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Where The Sidewalk Ends is one of his best. Also, look up Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show- a seventies band he wrote the lyrics for, classics such as Penicillin Penny, Queen of the Silver Dollar, etc.
Comment from Just2Write
Oh, this is delightful - anyone who knows what teenaged girls are like will love this poem.
It's beautifully done, and reminds me of The Lion and Albert - by Marriott Edgar.
IMHO - What does that mean? LMHO, I know, means Laughing My Head Off. Can't figure out what the 'I' would stand for?
Rose
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Oh, this is delightful - anyone who knows what teenaged girls are like will love this poem.
It's beautifully done, and reminds me of The Lion and Albert - by Marriott Edgar.
IMHO - What does that mean? LMHO, I know, means Laughing My Head Off. Can't figure out what the 'I' would stand for?
Rose
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Rose.
I love 'The Lion and Albert' - I used to do it with my English classes.
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
Steve
Comment from McMurry903
This is outstanding, Steve. I love the humor and relatability of this piece. Through excellent rhyme and meter you make this long piece seem effortless to read and thoroughly enjoy. I think you have a great idea and the ability to form a wonderful series of modern cautionary tales. I'm looking forward to your next one!
Brian
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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This is outstanding, Steve. I love the humor and relatability of this piece. Through excellent rhyme and meter you make this long piece seem effortless to read and thoroughly enjoy. I think you have a great idea and the ability to form a wonderful series of modern cautionary tales. I'm looking forward to your next one!
Brian
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Brian, thanks for the warm review and the six stars - glad you enjoyed this piece of silliness.
Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Steve,
What a fantastic, funny, clever and creative story poem you've conjured up. I just loved it! I never heard of the author you mentioned, but the humor is right up my alley. Yes indeed continue on. It's also reminiscent of the guy who wrote 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.' Can't remember his name. I'm going to fan you so I don't miss an installment.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Hi Steve,
What a fantastic, funny, clever and creative story poem you've conjured up. I just loved it! I never heard of the author you mentioned, but the humor is right up my alley. Yes indeed continue on. It's also reminiscent of the guy who wrote 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.' Can't remember his name. I'm going to fan you so I don't miss an installment.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Lou - you are thinking of Roald Dahl of course - his 'Revolting Rhymes' which pervert traditional fairy tales have a similar feel to my piece.
Steve
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Yes, of course, I did have an 'R' in mind when trying to think of his name.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Your poem made me smile. As a first grade teacher I am seeing more and more children unable to get along with others because of the video games. The children never learn to play nicely with others. Thank you for sharing your poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Your poem made me smile. As a first grade teacher I am seeing more and more children unable to get along with others because of the video games. The children never learn to play nicely with others. Thank you for sharing your poem.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Barbara.
Yes, the humour hides a serious message.
Steve
Comment from Karen B.
Absolutely delightful! Hilarious but with so much wisdom and truth to it. Yes! definitely do a series of these. I'm not at all a fan of cell phones, only have one for dire emergencies. And I'm going to have to see if I can find a copy of that Hilaire Belloc book. Thanks for the giggles this morning. :)
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Absolutely delightful! Hilarious but with so much wisdom and truth to it. Yes! definitely do a series of these. I'm not at all a fan of cell phones, only have one for dire emergencies. And I'm going to have to see if I can find a copy of that Hilaire Belloc book. Thanks for the giggles this morning. :)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Karen, for the kind words and the six shiny stars.
You shouldn't have any problem finding the book online
In the meantime, here's a snippet to whet your appetite:
He hadn?t gone a yard when? Bang!
With open Jaws, a Lion sprang,
And hungrily began to eat
The Boy: beginning at his feet.
Now just imagine how it feels
When first your toes and then your heels,
And then by gradual degrees,
Your shins and ankles, calves and knees,
Are slowly eaten, bit by bit.
No wonder Jim detested it!
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
I loved this. Luckily, my girls don't sleep with their phones. This was a rollicking and exciting ride. The idea for the new series is wonderful. I have a couple of suggestions for others. Sagging pants and eating junk food. Good luck with your new adventure. This was fun to read.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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I loved this. Luckily, my girls don't sleep with their phones. This was a rollicking and exciting ride. The idea for the new series is wonderful. I have a couple of suggestions for others. Sagging pants and eating junk food. Good luck with your new adventure. This was fun to read.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you!
I certainly hadn't thought of the saggy pants idea, but that might be a good one
Comment from tfawcus
A fine tale in imitation of Hilaire Belloc's Cautionary Tales - also a great favourite of mine - as was Heinrich Hoffmann's Struwwelpeter (1845)! Why do we have to bowdlerize so much for children these days? Grimms' Fairy Tales are so much better in the original! You have some delightful touches of humour! I liked the Indian doctor!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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A fine tale in imitation of Hilaire Belloc's Cautionary Tales - also a great favourite of mine - as was Heinrich Hoffmann's Struwwelpeter (1845)! Why do we have to bowdlerize so much for children these days? Grimms' Fairy Tales are so much better in the original! You have some delightful touches of humour! I liked the Indian doctor!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Tony. I shall have to look up the Struwwlpeter poems.
I have also been reminded of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes and been informed of the American Shel Silverstein who not only wrote such poems but also songs such as A Boy Named Sue...
Steve
