I Played My Song
a wrapped refrain173 total reviews
Comment from Donya Quijote
What a wonderful picture of the tyke. Sawyer's gonna be a rock star, eh?
I really like the message in the first stanza. Nothing has meaning until it is shared and appreciated by someone else. There are songs unsung, works of art unseen, and poems and stories unread, and words of love and encouragement unsaid. None of it reaches it full meaning, it full wonder until the second person comes along, just as you summed it up in the last two lines:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along --
each note imbued with meaning as I play my song.
The second stanza explains the value of that second person. We all need someone to hold our hand, to help us along, or to pick up the pieces after a disappointment.
You're waxing philosophical again and you've got my mind churning. The school year just ended and I haven't even got a chance to rest a bit. You know as I think about it in some ways that last stanza defines the role of a mother, a teacher, a friend, a mentor of some kind. Thanks again for making me smile and good luck in the contest. This is one is different...
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
  |
What a wonderful picture of the tyke. Sawyer's gonna be a rock star, eh?
I really like the message in the first stanza. Nothing has meaning until it is shared and appreciated by someone else. There are songs unsung, works of art unseen, and poems and stories unread, and words of love and encouragement unsaid. None of it reaches it full meaning, it full wonder until the second person comes along, just as you summed it up in the last two lines:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along --
each note imbued with meaning as I play my song.
The second stanza explains the value of that second person. We all need someone to hold our hand, to help us along, or to pick up the pieces after a disappointment.
You're waxing philosophical again and you've got my mind churning. The school year just ended and I haven't even got a chance to rest a bit. You know as I think about it in some ways that last stanza defines the role of a mother, a teacher, a friend, a mentor of some kind. Thanks again for making me smile and good luck in the contest. This is one is different...
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Donya, he already rocks out to songs like Free Fallin' by Tom Petty. He really "gets" music, holding the appropriate notes longer, singing the appropriate words louder, feeling the rhythm :-) I so appreciate your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Charlene0513
Sawyer in a class all of his own trying hard to impress and make the notes come to real life where he will be exemplified
of his skills.
Charlene
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
Sawyer in a class all of his own trying hard to impress and make the notes come to real life where he will be exemplified
of his skills.
Charlene
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Charlene, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Aplgwest
I am not quite sure what a wrapped refrain is, but I assume it is something like song lyrics. So I sang along to your refrain and it came out like a Gilbert and Sullivan song (I am the Captain of the Pinafore), except for the fifth line of the first stanza which seemed somewhat wordy--but then I might not be singing the right song. All in all, lovely lyrics. --Elaine
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
I am not quite sure what a wrapped refrain is, but I assume it is something like song lyrics. So I sang along to your refrain and it came out like a Gilbert and Sullivan song (I am the Captain of the Pinafore), except for the fifth line of the first stanza which seemed somewhat wordy--but then I might not be singing the right song. All in all, lovely lyrics. --Elaine
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Elaine, thank you for reviewing. The full rules for the form can be found if you click the blue contest link. The 12 syllable final lines are required by the form :-) Brooke
-
Oh,if I wasn't so lazy I would have read the rules before reviewing. I am still not crazy about the 12 syllables. Guess I prefer unwrapped refrains. :)
Comment from despiser
You haven't lost your touch I see. I don't know why I see sadness here. Maybe it's my bipolarism lol. Nice work Brooke. I have one wee suggestion: Change the first "but" in the second stanza to "yet" so you don't have "but" in back to back lines.
Great contest entry!
-D xo
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
You haven't lost your touch I see. I don't know why I see sadness here. Maybe it's my bipolarism lol. Nice work Brooke. I have one wee suggestion: Change the first "but" in the second stanza to "yet" so you don't have "but" in back to back lines.
Great contest entry!
-D xo
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
Despiser, thank you :-) Yes, the sadness is there, not just you :-) Brooke
Comment from Eternal Muse
Brooke, this was very well done. A perfect example of a wrapped refrain (not everyone catches the right flexion in it, it's not an easy form), but you've executed it with great mastery.
Was nice to my friend Sawyer again playing his kid's guitar.
I found this form very endearing with the change in syllable count from 8 to 12, and its unique appeal.
Favorite lines:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along --
each note imbued with meaning as I play my song.
Good luck in the contest, love, Y.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
 |
Brooke, this was very well done. A perfect example of a wrapped refrain (not everyone catches the right flexion in it, it's not an easy form), but you've executed it with great mastery.
Was nice to my friend Sawyer again playing his kid's guitar.
I found this form very endearing with the change in syllable count from 8 to 12, and its unique appeal.
Favorite lines:
Not one word has rung hollow since you've sung along --
each note imbued with meaning as I play my song.
Good luck in the contest, love, Y.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Yelena, thank you so very much for your generous and thoughtful response to this poem, and thank you for sponsoring this contest :-) Brooke
Comment from Debra White
Hi Brooke, this is beautiful. I haven't come across this form of poetry before. I really like it :) I enjoyed the subject matter of finding a soulmate - likening it to an unknown song being sung together in harmony and a difficult path being made easy. The photo of Sawyer is lovely too. Good luck in the voting booth with this excellent entry! Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
Hi Brooke, this is beautiful. I haven't come across this form of poetry before. I really like it :) I enjoyed the subject matter of finding a soulmate - likening it to an unknown song being sung together in harmony and a difficult path being made easy. The photo of Sawyer is lovely too. Good luck in the voting booth with this excellent entry! Kindest regards as always, Debra :)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, Debra :-) I appreciate your thoughtful comments and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
Comment from words
I love both this poem, Brooke, and the form( a new one to me).
As usual, you have perfectly matched content and form. The repeating nature of the form drives this message home. The conclusion seems inevitable ... you found true love and love found your way.
You really should teach a content and form class.
Wish I had a six left. You always deserve one.l
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
I love both this poem, Brooke, and the form( a new one to me).
As usual, you have perfectly matched content and form. The repeating nature of the form drives this message home. The conclusion seems inevitable ... you found true love and love found your way.
You really should teach a content and form class.
Wish I had a six left. You always deserve one.l
Hugs,d
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Diane, thank you :-) Yelena's sample poem is from back in 2008. I think it is one of those forms that stayed around a short while and then got forgotten. I have to work on what to put into four weeks of a content and form class. If you have any ideas, please pass them on as I'd love to offer new classes :-) Brooke
Comment from 9999pool
This is definitely a beautifully wrapped love poem out of the tastiest chocolate box.
To find someone to sing the unsung songs that only our hearts know.
To live through the pain and never to stumble for a moment as we hold onto the belief that life together will be a wonderful, though not necessarily a smooth one.
Excellent Wrapped Refrain write with a fantastic story to tell about love and the songs we must have sung together in sickness and in health, smiles.
Cheerio, hugs, Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
This is definitely a beautifully wrapped love poem out of the tastiest chocolate box.
To find someone to sing the unsung songs that only our hearts know.
To live through the pain and never to stumble for a moment as we hold onto the belief that life together will be a wonderful, though not necessarily a smooth one.
Excellent Wrapped Refrain write with a fantastic story to tell about love and the songs we must have sung together in sickness and in health, smiles.
Cheerio, hugs, Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Ritchie, thank you so much for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
-
I love this one as it says a lot about love and life. Smiles.
Welcome, :))
Hugs, Ritchie.
Comment from Ola Awakan
Man is never created in isolation and his existence should be connected to his potential. Music is one of the greatest arts that connects the soul. Good and cool
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
Man is never created in isolation and his existence should be connected to his potential. Music is one of the greatest arts that connects the soul. Good and cool
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Ola, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from livelylinda
Brooke: Your Wrapped Refrain poem is technically correct. I have never tried one of those but read the directions for writing one today. This sounds like a very unique love song. . .and just a darling picture of Sawyer working so hard with his guitar. Nicely done and good luck in the contest. Linda
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
|
Brooke: Your Wrapped Refrain poem is technically correct. I have never tried one of those but read the directions for writing one today. This sounds like a very unique love song. . .and just a darling picture of Sawyer working so hard with his guitar. Nicely done and good luck in the contest. Linda
Comment Written 05-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2014
-
Linda, thank you so much for your gracious review and generous rating and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
