Reviews from

Bel Air: A Bard's Guide

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Harpster The Friendly Ghost!"
Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.

12 total reviews 
Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Seeing his father alive and well sure took Junior by surprise. The butler will always be a suspect :) This is another really well crafted chapter.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

Comment from l.raven
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

HI Michael, well Bard almost took Junior out...and love your reference to the wizard of oz for the way he was talking...and Susan just wants to find her daughter Angela...and Tenaya trying to find out if Junior met know something about his daughter....and they think Lincoln...maybe...and Harpster is proud of his old vhs tapes...they may something...won't laugh at him anymore....so lets so where Harptser's most wanted takes us...so very well written Michael...keep it coming you...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 31-May-2014

Comment from seaglass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cool, another mystery is opening up.

This little line needs attention...

Well, he has his tawdry affairs, not that I care, but there is nothing to be jealous (off_ didn't you mean (of)? Just untalented floozies trying to sleep (there) should be (their) way to...

 Comment Written 31-May-2014

Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is very well thought out and moves along at a steady pace. Sorry, I am not of any help, I am editing someone's book at present, along with writing my poetry. Your characters are so real and glad you continued it on into a second part. Enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 31-May-2014

Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good stuff again matey. Very well invented and written. Be good to know where we are all headed but with the cast nothing will surprise me huh! One little spag.

to be jealous of(-f)

 Comment Written 31-May-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So he does have tapes after all. Great! Maybe the girl kidnapped herself just to get some attention from her lousy parents? You asked for suggestions... come on, Mikey. You are the LAST writer to need suggestions! You've got this authoring thing down pat, baby! LOL!

 Comment Written 31-May-2014

Comment from Nichola
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting read, Mike. I still need to catch up with your others. Sorry it is taking so long! Just one correction that I could see: date with the captain of the football team.

Nichola

 Comment Written 30-May-2014

Comment from ProjectBluebook
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice chapter, Mikey. Talk of 'The Wizard of Oz,' munchkins and Lollipop kids was hilarious. They can't get Jr for murder, but for lesser charges. Like conspiracy to murder. Maybe, he will sing for a better deal. Winston must be the bullseye! Them tapes must have some important info in them. Hope they are in good quality. Today is my daughter and sons birthday. Born two years apart. Been on face book mending fences. This was a great chapter. What's next Sir Mikey? do loco

 Comment Written 30-May-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Looooovvve the dialogue here. Thhe references are perfect. They are short, so if the reader doesn't catch one it goes by quick. Then bsck to drama in s heartbeat. That is what is so great about the Bard. He is inappropriate!!!! This is s mystery. Lincoln has some role. Maybe someone we have not mrt yet... NG

 Comment Written 30-May-2014

Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great chapter. i loved how the bard came to diamond's defense right away. I t makes me think he won't have any problem if there is some physical action, he'll just rely on instinct. So junior is on the team now? Boy, they'll take anybody. I'm not really clear on the motivation in taking the girl. I guess it's winston that is behind it, but what's his angle?
The plot thickens. I shall await the next chapter with baited breath.

 Comment Written 30-May-2014