Comment from paulah60

Excellent

Why, oh why did I read this? I'm a wuss! Maybe it's because I used to love Quincy M E. Although, IT wasn't ghoulish! That said, this write was engaging one, Dean. Never boring, no superfluous words.

Couple of little SPAGs though, if you can call them that:

'The lights abruptly winked [and] went out'

I know it wasn't there then.["] (I understand that this is the doctor speaking),
["] Doc, calm down ... (but this next para is a different speaker: the young man). Without the end quote, you're implying it's the same speaker.

["] Doc, calm down, would ya? (Does that require a question mark? It seems to be more of a statement than a question.)
And:
'Weissman preferred working alone'. Not sure why this one is highlighted??

Great choice of creepy pics to make it all the more ghastly! What can I say? Well done...I think LOL

Cheers
Paula

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014

Thanks for pointing out those errors, Paulah, I really appreciate it. I swear, no matter how many times I edit and reedit my stories and poems, I always miss something. That's why I rely on readers like yourself who actually read the story, have a keen eye, and catch the things I've missed.

I appreciate the detailed review, my friend!

Comment from dennis0530

Excellent

This is spookily entertaining. It could raise the hairs on the neck of one who is of lesser constitution.

Urban legends tend to revise and change as they spread; the tellers adding their own embellishments for added effect.

If he survives this scare, Dr. Weissman surely would reconsider working the graveyard shift.

Just a small glitch : "ornate eave's" - eaves does not need the apostrophe.
"en mass" - needs an "e" after the second 's.'

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2014

Thanks for the excellent feedback and review, Dennis. I also really appreciate you pointing out those errors for me, and the have now been addressed.

Write-On, my friend! Right on!

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

The elevator is clearly integral to the story and a main focal point of the horror. Qualifies perfectly. That aside, what a well written and gripping tale and a winning one I believe. Can't argue with excellence. Well done. mikey

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Mikey. I really appreciate you kind comments and encouraging review.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Your trade mark is all over this, but I have no positive proof. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making or a very good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Thank you for taking a stab at this one for me, Charlie. Much obliged, my friend.

reply by c_lucas on 02-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Dean. Charlie

Comment from nelliesellie

Exceptional

I love the tale. Sins of the child visited on the parents. I believe this can exist. Sometimes parents are responsible for how children turn out. Justice comes in strange ways. Great work.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Justice is right, nelliesellie. Thanks so much for the positive and outstanding review, as well that sixth star. I do appreciate it!

Comment from amada

Excellent

Heavens! Great response to stuck in an elevator I liked the story, I think in another life i could have been a medical examiner, I am drawn to those shows...I can even bet you did it. (Hubby scratches his forehead). Best wishes.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Ha, thanks, amada. Yeah, I too love shows like that. Remember Quicny, starring jack Klugman? Or maybe that was before your time.

Thanks again for the encouraging review, my friend.

Comment from Winslow

Excellent

Dear Writer,

Now that is one elevator I wouldn't want to be stuck in. The only criticism of this is that it is pretty fasted paced. Maybe more character development and detail would splice the brew. I would get rid of most ly words too.

Good luck in the contest.

A fanstorian

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Winslow, I truly appreciate the review and your well intentioned suggestions, my friend. I'll see what I can do, but the contest deadline looms!

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Intro sets the stage effectively
Well, this is scary on so many levels. Strong visuals, and smells and sounds...LOL
Corpses that come to life, sons who are jealous shooters, this guy really had a bad day :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Ha, yes, he certainly did, Brooke. A REALLY bad day!

Thanks so much for your encouraging review. I sincerely appreciate it!

Comment from Judy Couch

Excellent

The story was well written and easy to follow. It was a little weird but then, I guess it was meant to be. I don't particularly like horror but I'm sure those who do would love it.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Thanks for the encouraging review, Judy. Though these types of stories aren't your "cup of tea", so to speak, you still gave it a shot, so I appreciate it all the more.

Comment from faragon

Excellent

Very excellent! I could feel the Doctor's mounting terror! This story definately had me literally on the edge of my seat and now leary of going into elevators. I also work the graveyard shift! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2014

Oh, good heaven's, faragon! I suppose I should have thoguht about my fellow FS friends who work on that shift. I too worked it for over 13 long years and it really takes it's toll on you. I got used to it (actually came to enjoy it) after awhile.

Thanks so much for your encouraging review and contest best wishes. All are deeply appreciated!