Aging
All too often- the process of aging31 total reviews
Comment from Righteous Riter
Spiral memories
moving disjointed within
loneliness prevails
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with memories/moving. Clear message that is short and simple.
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Spiral memories
moving disjointed within
loneliness prevails
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with memories/moving. Clear message that is short and simple.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thanksfor such positive feedback and the nice review of my work.
Comment from Leineco
Nice commentary poem - good use of the 5-7-5 format
Sadly, to often . . .all too true (makes you wonder about the upside of extended life span numbers :-(
Best of Luck in the Contest!
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Nice commentary poem - good use of the 5-7-5 format
Sadly, to often . . .all too true (makes you wonder about the upside of extended life span numbers :-(
Best of Luck in the Contest!
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you so much for the kind review of my work
Comment from Terror2s
This reminds me of many of the people I used to see at hospice. You have aptly described aging so well. It is scay when we feel alone. T2
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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This reminds me of many of the people I used to see at hospice. You have aptly described aging so well. It is scay when we feel alone. T2
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you so much for the kind review of my work.
Comment from ravenblack
Spiral memories/ moving disjointed within- excellent brief description of the thought process of aging minds, sometimes spiralling to the extreme of Alzheimer's which leaves the elderly alone and alone with their thoughts.
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Spiral memories/ moving disjointed within- excellent brief description of the thought process of aging minds, sometimes spiralling to the extreme of Alzheimer's which leaves the elderly alone and alone with their thoughts.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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thanks so much for the kind review of my work
Comment from leslief1952
Excellent use of words strategically placed. The use of the word "disjointed" is very smart, since you are dealing with aging. Age makes us all feel disjointed at times. And "spiral memories" is especially poignant. Thanks for writing and sharing this.
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Excellent use of words strategically placed. The use of the word "disjointed" is very smart, since you are dealing with aging. Age makes us all feel disjointed at times. And "spiral memories" is especially poignant. Thanks for writing and sharing this.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you so very much for such a kind review of my work
Comment from Laurie's Legacy
you were right on with the syllables, but the message made me sad. I would hope that aging could have something positive to be said about it. your message definitely gives me food for thought. perhaps you could write another with the opposite perspective. good language
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reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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you were right on with the syllables, but the message made me sad. I would hope that aging could have something positive to be said about it. your message definitely gives me food for thought. perhaps you could write another with the opposite perspective. good language
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thanks for your review but not all writing has to be "positive" .. the key is to create a feeling be it positive OR not. The key is the fact that it did give you "food for thought"
All the best to you in your personal writing endeavors.
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I completely agree with you, I was just sharing that it made me sad. since the purpose of writing is to trigger emotions, then you did a good job? I was just suggesting that you write another one coming from a positive perspective, as you were so clear with this one. I wasn't trying to insult you or your writing, just wanted to share with my experience was.
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Oh that's fine..I wasn't insulted at all. Perhaps I will write a positive one if it comes to me. That one just came to me as I was thinking the words "spiraling memories" and the thought of aging then came to mind and that's what happened...a sad poem. Just works that way sometimes. All in less than five minutes.
Comment from adewpearl
perfect pairing of poignant photo and poem, which is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count for the contest
excellent alliteration in memories moving
you capture so well one of the worst aspects of aging in such an honest way
Brooke
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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perfect pairing of poignant photo and poem, which is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count for the contest
excellent alliteration in memories moving
you capture so well one of the worst aspects of aging in such an honest way
Brooke
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you so much for such a kind review of my work. I love your writing and feel honored to have such a compliment.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
Vivid imagery with your words coupled with the photos is very dramatic. You pinpointed so much in so few words.
Sell done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Hi,
Vivid imagery with your words coupled with the photos is very dramatic. You pinpointed so much in so few words.
Sell done. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you for the kind review of my work
Comment from donette1914
Very well done and old age is so sad and our memory slowly goes as we age and loneliness does prevails and this is a outstanding photo a well penned job
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Very well done and old age is so sad and our memory slowly goes as we age and loneliness does prevails and this is a outstanding photo a well penned job
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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thanks for the nice review of my work
Comment from mermaids
In few words, you capture the feel of being confused and possibly having alzheimers. Excellent 5-7-5 form that creates feelings that all can relate to.
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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In few words, you capture the feel of being confused and possibly having alzheimers. Excellent 5-7-5 form that creates feelings that all can relate to.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thank you for such a kind review of my work
