Softly ... from the Heart
John Lennon got it right ...87 total reviews
Comment from vincente
Excellent piece of work. The graphic speaks volumes.
Thanks for the reminder that man's inhumanity to man stems "...from the heart." Best of luck. U deserve to win.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
  |
Excellent piece of work. The graphic speaks volumes.
Thanks for the reminder that man's inhumanity to man stems "...from the heart." Best of luck. U deserve to win.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
Bless you for your lovely sixer on this one Vincente! So appreciate it when someone really understands one of my pieces!
:)Sharyn
Comment from emrpoems
according to your notes you have fulfilled all the requirements of the pantoum.
Quatrains with abab cdcd efef gg rhymes
if only life cold be as you say but it isn't and we face reality every day.
Written in real poetic style
Loved the repeated lines
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
 |
according to your notes you have fulfilled all the requirements of the pantoum.
Quatrains with abab cdcd efef gg rhymes
if only life cold be as you say but it isn't and we face reality every day.
Written in real poetic style
Loved the repeated lines
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
We do indeed, Erica - but that doesn't stop us fantasizing that things could be different, does it?
:)S
Comment from T. J. Hamilton
Very smooth, and original. I enjoyed it. You rhymed very well, and the imagery was well thought out. I felt like I was reading a kaleidoscope =)
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
|
Very smooth, and original. I enjoyed it. You rhymed very well, and the imagery was well thought out. I felt like I was reading a kaleidoscope =)
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
That's the magic of the 'pantoum' form TJ - try one! They're great fun!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Nosha17
Yes, the total disregard by the powers that be of the plight of the poor and homeless is shameful. They have no heart. Your poem is well rhymed and your choice of words and imagery is good. Enjoyable read and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
|
Yes, the total disregard by the powers that be of the plight of the poor and homeless is shameful. They have no heart. Your poem is well rhymed and your choice of words and imagery is good. Enjoyable read and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
Thx so much Faye!
:)S
Comment from Domino 2
flawless iambic pentameter and unforced rhymes in this excellent Pantoum Sonnet.
I often find repeated lines irritating and unimaginative, but, in particular, I really like the dramatic and metaphorical comments in:
'those coffee crowds are lemmings on the run ' - to infer their shallowness and lack of care or imagination.
And the caring utopia of:
'where Man builds empires softly ... from the heart'
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
|
flawless iambic pentameter and unforced rhymes in this excellent Pantoum Sonnet.
I often find repeated lines irritating and unimaginative, but, in particular, I really like the dramatic and metaphorical comments in:
'those coffee crowds are lemmings on the run ' - to infer their shallowness and lack of care or imagination.
And the caring utopia of:
'where Man builds empires softly ... from the heart'
Excellent!
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
I think you have to be VERY careful writing pantoum Ted - if those repeating lines are BORING then the whole piece is boring ... so I do my best not to be boring - he he he!
:)S
-
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Whatcha say? Haha!
This is far less wordier that most of your writes, Sharyn (which suits me, with respect, as I rarely read prose or long poems), and I never realised what an excellent command of meter you have.
Great bumping into you again, my fun friend.
Ray...I mean, 'Ted' ;-) xx
-
oh you've been hiding your 'true' identity all this time, your Grace! You had me fooled, but then again, I do remember your somewhat short attention span! he he he ! Lovely to bump into you again!
:)Sharyn
-
I tried for a while, but was soon found out.
I don't advertise it, though I don't deny it, as I know a few on here hated me, and I couldn't be bothered replying to their shit, and completely humiliating them with my superior wit, intellect and poetic genius. LMAO
xx
-
Well I'll keep your Pimpernel identity secret dear, no worries! And I shall look forward to your attempts to humiliate me with your superior wit, intellect and poetic genius! ROFL
-
:-) xx
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Very nice. I love the way you repeated the opening two lines. That emphasized a wonderful message that was shown in this sonnet. It's beautiful and well written. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
|
Very nice. I love the way you repeated the opening two lines. That emphasized a wonderful message that was shown in this sonnet. It's beautiful and well written. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
thx so much Michael!
:)Sharyn
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Beautiful. I might get brave enough to try one of these someday, probably not today. You are so talented with meter which still leaves me struggling. Good luck in the contest, Sharyn~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
|
Beautiful. I might get brave enough to try one of these someday, probably not today. You are so talented with meter which still leaves me struggling. Good luck in the contest, Sharyn~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
-
Do try one Deb - pantoum's such a lovely form and, though a little complicated (to make the lines 'match') is very satisfying musically to experiment with!
:)
Sharyn
