Softly ... from the Heart
John Lennon got it right ...87 total reviews
Comment from livelylinda
visionary1234: a complex kind of poem which you have successfully built. Yes, you begin to build empires softly by raising up that homeless person freezing on the street that others have passed by without a nod. Great write. livelylinda
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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visionary1234: a complex kind of poem which you have successfully built. Yes, you begin to build empires softly by raising up that homeless person freezing on the street that others have passed by without a nod. Great write. livelylinda
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Bless you Linda! :)Sharyn
Comment from adewpearl
Your rhymes and your meter are in excellent English sonnet form.
You also use the repeating lines in fine pantoum pattern.
nice alliteration in city symphonies
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in coffee crowds
I love the social commentary in your image of the coffee crowds as lemmings
a powerful ending as the folks from the coffee crowds ignore the beggars on the street - a powerful poem in excellent pantoum sonnet form. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Your rhymes and your meter are in excellent English sonnet form.
You also use the repeating lines in fine pantoum pattern.
nice alliteration in city symphonies
excellent use of enjambment
good alliteration in coffee crowds
I love the social commentary in your image of the coffee crowds as lemmings
a powerful ending as the folks from the coffee crowds ignore the beggars on the street - a powerful poem in excellent pantoum sonnet form. Brooke
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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thx so much Brooke! :)Sharyn
Comment from Just Pete
The Pantoum (Pantun) is one of my favourite forms and with this, you have excelled. You chose a subject with real meaning and told it well. This was a pleasure to read and I hope it wins. Peter
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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The Pantoum (Pantun) is one of my favourite forms and with this, you have excelled. You chose a subject with real meaning and told it well. This was a pleasure to read and I hope it wins. Peter
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Bless you, Pete - I love the pantoum form too, and was so delighted that you felt similarly AND that I could relieve you of a fabulous six!
Thank you so much!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Selina Stambi
So glad to see your errant muse is back - and as bold, bright and brilliant as ever, Twinnie!
I learned a new word today - lemmings ..!
Imagine re-creating life as art--
where Man builds empires softly ... from the heart ... Stunning lines - profound ... and what an amazing thought.
I love how you've rhymed cash/trash, etc. to create the bustling metropolis in words.
Hope you win, Twinnifus!!
Love always,
xxx
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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So glad to see your errant muse is back - and as bold, bright and brilliant as ever, Twinnie!
I learned a new word today - lemmings ..!
Imagine re-creating life as art--
where Man builds empires softly ... from the heart ... Stunning lines - profound ... and what an amazing thought.
I love how you've rhymed cash/trash, etc. to create the bustling metropolis in words.
Hope you win, Twinnifus!!
Love always,
xxx
Sonali :)
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks so much Twinnie! muse is back, time is not so accommodating unfortunately!!! Just got back from AZ & UT which were fabulous! How bad can 'busy' be, hmm?
Big hugs,
Sharyn
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I spent hours in the garden this past long weekend. Went out to a horse farm on Friday to pick up a trunk load of free manure (I know, David is an angel - no denying it). The back is sore and muscles are screaming, but I am in clover. Hope you'll be able to come sooner than later to see it.
If your UT-inspired poem was anything to go by, I know you had an awesome time.
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I did! WE did! Found a gorgeous hotel in Zion National Park ... looking out to a running stream ... backed by cliffs of red rock ... full moon rising ... Also lucked into an eco conference in Kanab, so met some great permaculture farmers ... LOVE FREE POOP! Want photos!!! I got back to a garden in a total mess as we've been short-handed ... but am now all enthused in the poop/gardens department ... so we'll be doing gardening columns together, right???
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a beautifully crafted poem, with such a wonderful message and lofty imagery - "where Man builds empires softly...from the heart." Wouldn't it be lovely? I can imagine that city. As always, you've made gorgeous use of this form. Flawless meter, incredible use of metaphor, wonderful rhyme...you take my last six of the week.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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What a beautifully crafted poem, with such a wonderful message and lofty imagery - "where Man builds empires softly...from the heart." Wouldn't it be lovely? I can imagine that city. As always, you've made gorgeous use of this form. Flawless meter, incredible use of metaphor, wonderful rhyme...you take my last six of the week.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Wouldn't it though? So glad you caught this one, Dawn - AND saved me a six!
Big smiles!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Janie King
I'm not a poet so I sure would never attempt to review on a poetic style, my ignorance would soon show. But, I do like this poem, I like to flow of it and the message is very thought provoking. God loves you and so do I.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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I'm not a poet so I sure would never attempt to review on a poetic style, my ignorance would soon show. But, I do like this poem, I like to flow of it and the message is very thought provoking. God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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thx so much Janie! :)Sharyn
Comment from costellsgirl33
This is a lovely poem. I can tell it was written with a lot of emotion and it came straight from the heart. Its kind of sad in a way. And the image that you used goes perfectly with the flow of your poem. Great job
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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This is a lovely poem. I can tell it was written with a lot of emotion and it came straight from the heart. Its kind of sad in a way. And the image that you used goes perfectly with the flow of your poem. Great job
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thx so much!
:)Sharyn
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You are welcome Sharyn! I love the way you spell your name :)
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
I've never written a pantoum but maybe after reading this wondrous poem, I might. Meets all strictures as described in the contest rules. My favorite verse is:
"The bright and motley crowds will move as one,
ignoring men now rooting through the trash.
Those coffee crowds are lemmings on the run.
"Y' spare a dime? A little bit of cash?"
Excellent in every way. Good luck.
Regards:
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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I've never written a pantoum but maybe after reading this wondrous poem, I might. Meets all strictures as described in the contest rules. My favorite verse is:
"The bright and motley crowds will move as one,
ignoring men now rooting through the trash.
Those coffee crowds are lemmings on the run.
"Y' spare a dime? A little bit of cash?"
Excellent in every way. Good luck.
Regards:
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Wow, Stephen, I must be doing something right - TWO sixes from you today! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your reading ... or perhaps I CAN!
Blessings,
Sharyn
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Dear Sharyn: Always a pleasure to review true talent such as yours. Just posted 'Fathers'.
LUV: Steve c
Comment from Sasha
The Pantoum is one of my favorite styles. I love the repeating lines and you have done a terrific job with this one. The illustration you picked for this is superb and conveys the message perfectly. Excellent meter and rhyme and a terrific entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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The Pantoum is one of my favorite styles. I love the repeating lines and you have done a terrific job with this one. The illustration you picked for this is superb and conveys the message perfectly. Excellent meter and rhyme and a terrific entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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thx so much Sasha - yes, I love the pantoum too - it's always interesting to write without sending oneself nuts!
:)S
Comment from royowen
I loved this contest entry, in the phantoun sonnet competition Sharyn, this is a fine example of imaginative writing, I love the theme of things that could be if we but dream! This is a well written, creative work, that definitely stands a chance in this contest! The ababcc rhyme scheme is great, with a nice even meter. Good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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I loved this contest entry, in the phantoun sonnet competition Sharyn, this is a fine example of imaginative writing, I love the theme of things that could be if we but dream! This is a well written, creative work, that definitely stands a chance in this contest! The ababcc rhyme scheme is great, with a nice even meter. Good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Bless you, Roy! :)Sharyn
