Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Farewell"Poems written using the pantoum form
79 total reviews
Comment from Tonulak
Hi Tony,
This was an excellent offering for the Pantume Sonnet contest. You really naioled it. Also, best of luck in the POM voting. Cheers--Ted
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi Tony,
This was an excellent offering for the Pantume Sonnet contest. You really naioled it. Also, best of luck in the POM voting. Cheers--Ted
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Ted! I appreciate your kind comments and good luck wishes in the POM voting. This is the first time I've had a poem nominated - quite enough honour in itself!
Comment from DALLAS01
This is such a visually enticing poem. The art work an color coordination gives this an almost musical quality. My favorite line which for me ties I all together is:
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is such a visually enticing poem. The art work an color coordination gives this an almost musical quality. My favorite line which for me ties I all together is:
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Vey many thanks for your kind review and comments, Dallas, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
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Very many thanks for your kind review and comments, Dallas, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
Comment from RGstar
Great usage of the repeating line, which I also feel, at times, restricts, yet you managed to flow this very well. It is good to see these different structures and to measure the overall poetic ambiance surrounding the work, in comparison to the technical structure. If you manage the both then it is a well written poem as this is.
Good write.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Great usage of the repeating line, which I also feel, at times, restricts, yet you managed to flow this very well. It is good to see these different structures and to measure the overall poetic ambiance surrounding the work, in comparison to the technical structure. If you manage the both then it is a well written poem as this is.
Good write.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your review and comments, RG. I agree - these forms with multiple repetition are not only restrictive but can easily become forced or contrived. Glad that you thought this one worked OK!
Comment from webfoot
this reminds me of a song that's playing on the radio lately, "we are stars" where the two song writers met after a car accident and got together to writing the hit song.
we are truly stars in our universes. a very beautiful poem
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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this reminds me of a song that's playing on the radio lately, "we are stars" where the two song writers met after a car accident and got together to writing the hit song.
we are truly stars in our universes. a very beautiful poem
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review and interesting comments, Webfoot.
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. It is nicely formed and quite lovely. I believe you meet the contest standards. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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This is an interesting piece. It is nicely formed and quite lovely. I believe you meet the contest standards. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review and interesting comments, Mai Mai.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review and interesting comments, Charlie.
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You're welcome, Tony. Charlie
Comment from emrpoems
An outstanding pantoume satisfying all the requirements and making for a great entry in the contest.
Vivid imagery and the repeated lines fit in sensibly and without interruption
Best of luck
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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An outstanding pantoume satisfying all the requirements and making for a great entry in the contest.
Vivid imagery and the repeated lines fit in sensibly and without interruption
Best of luck
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review and interesting comments, EMR.
Comment from Nosha17
The sadness and shiny memory of the farewell in your poem are enunciated by excellent choice of words, imagery and rhymes. It was a smooth and enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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The sadness and shiny memory of the farewell in your poem are enunciated by excellent choice of words, imagery and rhymes. It was a smooth and enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review and interesting comments, Faye.
Comment from MissMerri
I enjoyed this beautiful Pantoum Sonnet so very much! It is elegant in form and sound and carries through with the theme in every stanza. I loved the metaphors and the language and the beautiful images and the perfect iambic meter. It is definitely six worthy. It is, above all, a truly lovely poem.
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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I enjoyed this beautiful Pantoum Sonnet so very much! It is elegant in form and sound and carries through with the theme in every stanza. I loved the metaphors and the language and the beautiful images and the perfect iambic meter. It is definitely six worthy. It is, above all, a truly lovely poem.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your lovely review, six-star rating and interesting comments, MissMerri. I am delighted that you enjoyed the poem so much!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very nicely done! I love this part especially:
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
That span the empty loneliness of space
The phrase "sea-glass stars" as twins is imaginative and poetic and describes the look perfectly. And the loneliness of SPACE has a double meaning, one for the stars in the sky and the other for one's distance from his/her loved one.
Good chance to make the winners' circle, I think. :)
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Very nicely done! I love this part especially:
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
That span the empty loneliness of space
The phrase "sea-glass stars" as twins is imaginative and poetic and describes the look perfectly. And the loneliness of SPACE has a double meaning, one for the stars in the sky and the other for one's distance from his/her loved one.
Good chance to make the winners' circle, I think. :)
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review, interesting comments and encouragement, Phyllis.
