Reviews from

Something's Amiss

A bizarre apocalyptic dream

53 total reviews 
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Dean

This is an absolutely stunning six star piece of work. You can tell this came from your inner-most thoughts. Truly heartfelt.

I wish I could answer your questions. I did a quick search on the symbolism of black birds, and I got random results, from bad omen to truth and happiness! So it is sort of a pick and choose what you believe, depending on your culture.

Even though I'm a buckeye like you, I've lived in Arizona for many years, so I looked up what the Native Americans believe about the black bird. Some say they are messengers from the Great Spirit.

Then in other cultures, they are considered negative forces.

Of course, the dove has always been a symbol of peace. I certainly hope you are able to find some answers.

Perhaps in your case, since you saw them both, it symbolizes good fighting evil - leaving you to ponder the outcome?

This is an extremely moving piece. I hope you find some answers.

Blessings to you and yours, my friend
Keep Smilin'.... Jax

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Those vivid dreams bore so deeply that, unfortunately, they can repeat over and over. I've had nightmares my whole life and even researched to find answers, but the best one I've heard is spicy foods before bedtime. Nonsense. Thanks for another great poem. :-)

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from Writingfundimension
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Dean, I personally think your message is one regarding the impending, and escalating, consequences of our polluted planet. The dove stares coldly, because the benign forces in nature have no choice now but to wait for us to call upon them. I can see why you would have been very upset. BTW, birds are thought of as ideas or thoughts according to some dream interpreters. Thank you for sharing, my friend.

Warmest regards, Bev

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
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I want to review this poem on two different levels. First, the poem's structure was wonderful. Your rhyme and rhythm were great, with one small hiccup. I would remove the 'then' from the first line of the last stanza. It improves the rhythm and to have 'then' twice in two lines is a little repetitive. Other than that, marvelous.
On the content of the dream, I would say you were living through part of the tribulation (from Revelations).

Revelations 6:12 "I watched as the Lamb broke the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The sun became as dark as black cloth, and the moon became as red as blood."

Revelations 6:8 "I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth."

As for the dove, doves have always represented peace, and Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. At the end of the tribulation, Christ will defeat Satan and throw him into the abyss for a thousand years. Maybe the dove was showing that there is still hope, even in the darkness.

I am no expert, but these is a direction you could look.

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from ravenblack
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It means that you haven't been reading enough Ravenblack poems...lol, sorry. Couldn't resist. A freaky dream. I know that dreaming of black birds supposedly generally means that change is coming that you have no control of. It does not mean the world will end, just that something will change.

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
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To me, dreams are just dreams. I try not to read anything into them. The poem was dark and stark in the depiction of the last days. Especially the horseman. Great work.

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
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Dean, this piece of poetry is very interesting. As you say, 'we know that the world will end someday. You have created a very descriptive poem about what was happening with the black birds, the rider garbed in a black robe on top a pale hued horse.

I am but a simple man with strong beliefs. Were you in a somewhat dark mood before going to bed Saturday night? Why I ask is this. The black birds, the black robed rider reeks of the devil. He was, in my estimation, trying to alter your mindset concerning the end of time. Darkness abounds.

Dean, we both have a tremendous faith in God. This faith tells us that when the time comes for this world to end, He will not cover the skies with blackness. It will be a glorious time. Those that do not rise up will be cast into the depths of the abyss, a black hole.

The white dove with the cold stare was a sign from God to hold steady with your faith in Him.

You can tell me if you think that I may be off base with this analogy.

Take care my friend,,,,,,,Jim

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from Nosha17
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Very well written poem, I am rather squeamish about horror stories and poetry, but it was fine. The rhymes and choice of words were excellent. Sorry, if I don't have any theories myself on this. If I thought too much about it, I may not sleep too well (I already have problems with sleeping) Great visuals and picture. Faye

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from JavaJunkie
Excellent
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There is much dark foreboding in this dreamscape, and it seems you have captured the essence of this dream on the page. As always you have placed fabulous artwork to accent your words. Although, I will say in this one the animations were so intriguing they were a bit distracting and I had to go back and read your poem again and try not to look at the cool pictures(I'm easIly distracted!)
As for dream interpretation, I'm no expert, but it seems to me your mind is steeped in the dark underbelly of this life. I don't mean that in a bad way, but for the most part your writing exposes the darker sides of humanity. I don't see how you could write about that and also not dream about it. I would also encourage you to test the spirits, through the filter of God's word, because not all messages are presumably from above.
That's my two cents worth:)

 Comment Written 05-May-2014

Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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I have run out of sixers!! lol

I don't have to tell you how much I enjoy your poetry..you are the most understated poet on fanstory my friend your productions are second to none they are always a pleasure to read and this one is certainly no exception only suggestion I would make and this is chickenshit I know but;

We all knew the world would end one day,

but we'd never thought of this...

morning dawned bright one warm Sunday

yet, I knew something was amiss

I'd probably drop the "warm" just my take

We all knew the world would end one day,

but we'd never thought of this...

morning dawned bright; one Sunday

yet, I knew something was amiss


add the semi colon do you see what I am saying I think the beat and flow is more natural or is it just me?

your call its brilliant anyway you write it

as always dip


 Comment Written 05-May-2014