Face Off
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Fill in the gaps"A Whole New Identity
14 total reviews
Comment from TervLass
Whew! Another smokin' chapter, Gail.
Housekeeping: Ought, " necessary, never, I hope." have a semi-colon after never, rather than a comma?
The tension is great and I admire your manipulation to allow characters to intersect so closely. Don't they ever want to wander down a bunny trail? LOL You keep the action tight using a combination of dialogue and scene setting.
Really great story. But do I believe that both Mehia and Edward are actually dead? Not so sure (hope springs...)
Helen (TervLass)
who didn't get to read it yesterday 'cause I was out tracking with m'dog, and beat (happily) afterward.
Scratches to Rex and his kin.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
  |
Whew! Another smokin' chapter, Gail.
Housekeeping: Ought, " necessary, never, I hope." have a semi-colon after never, rather than a comma?
The tension is great and I admire your manipulation to allow characters to intersect so closely. Don't they ever want to wander down a bunny trail? LOL You keep the action tight using a combination of dialogue and scene setting.
Really great story. But do I believe that both Mehia and Edward are actually dead? Not so sure (hope springs...)
Helen (TervLass)
who didn't get to read it yesterday 'cause I was out tracking with m'dog, and beat (happily) afterward.
Scratches to Rex and his kin.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
You little rascal, you know me well. Ah, can't wait until the end of this one! I'm steaming!
Hugs, love and treats to your canine friends,
Gayle
Comment from lindalcreel
I have to go back and look at the last chapter to see when Julia's father and cousin were killed. I wonder how much trouble the girl will be in the office when her brother discovers that she was responsible for sending information to Hamid. Guess we'll know soon enough. Another great chapter, Gayle.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
I have to go back and look at the last chapter to see when Julia's father and cousin were killed. I wonder how much trouble the girl will be in the office when her brother discovers that she was responsible for sending information to Hamid. Guess we'll know soon enough. Another great chapter, Gayle.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
We have a couple of things we have to iron out, but I think we're coming down the line.
Linda, thank you so much for your support. It is SO appreciated, my friend.
Hugs,
Gayle
-
My pleasure:)
Comment from Norbanus
Another lump of what for us to ponder
While Julie holds her cool for one more day
Hamid pictures good time far of yonder
but Brad and Julie have some more to say
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
Another lump of what for us to ponder
While Julie holds her cool for one more day
Hamid pictures good time far of yonder
but Brad and Julie have some more to say
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Oh boy, wait until you see. Loved the poetic response, my dear friend. You already know what your support means to me, but it goes without saying that I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for you.
Thank you so much, Freddie,
Hugs,
Annabelle
Comment from Writingfundimension
Oh, I'm really sad that both Meha and Edward are dead, though this could be a ruse to draw out Julia, or that's my hope anyway. A lively chapter that moves us along to the coming confrontation. Very well done, Gayle! Hugs, Bev
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
 |
Oh, I'm really sad that both Meha and Edward are dead, though this could be a ruse to draw out Julia, or that's my hope anyway. A lively chapter that moves us along to the coming confrontation. Very well done, Gayle! Hugs, Bev
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Ah, Bev, a sixer, and such lovely comments. I hope you like how this is going to end. I try not to strain credulity farther than I need to, got a good idea.
I cannot thank you enough, huge hugs and love,
Gayle
-
You're very welcome, Gayle. I really look forward to more chapters and the direction you'll be taking us. Great job! Hugs, Bev
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This story gets better and better. I thought Edward would probably get killed for his part in helping Hali/Julia, but I never expected Mehia to be murdered. I love it that Lenny and Jim are now in the picture, and they figured out who Brad really is. This is heating up with twists and turns.
This was very well written and flowed well from scene to scene. Nothing tripped me up and caused a re-read. Your dialogue was believable and didn't sound forced. Nicely done.
Suz
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
This story gets better and better. I thought Edward would probably get killed for his part in helping Hali/Julia, but I never expected Mehia to be murdered. I love it that Lenny and Jim are now in the picture, and they figured out who Brad really is. This is heating up with twists and turns.
This was very well written and flowed well from scene to scene. Nothing tripped me up and caused a re-read. Your dialogue was believable and didn't sound forced. Nicely done.
Suz
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Hey Suz, we're gonna have fun with this one, for sure. Thank you so much for the comments and the support.
Grins, love and hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Why did he say 'the turd is in Hamid's pocket'? Is it a saying I should recognise? I really felt the anguish and frustration inside Julia. There is a terrific tension building up. Gayle
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
Why did he say 'the turd is in Hamid's pocket'? Is it a saying I should recognise? I really felt the anguish and frustration inside Julia. There is a terrific tension building up. Gayle
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Hey, my friend, that basically means 'the next move it his.' I might not use it, lol. So glad you liked this one. I can't wait to finish so I can edit, lol.
Hugs and love,
Gayle
Comment from emrpoems
Good use of dialogue and interaction between characters
Strong emotions shown
An enjoyable read.
held my attention throughout
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
Good use of dialogue and interaction between characters
Strong emotions shown
An enjoyable read.
held my attention throughout
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Thank you so much for the fine comments and review. I appreciate it.
Gayle
Comment from Ted T
Hi Gayle :)
You're cooking on the front burner.
Great dialogue and character business going on with a nice hook at the end.
I believe Julia's starting to enjoy getting even, thanks to Brad.
Ted
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
Hi Gayle :)
You're cooking on the front burner.
Great dialogue and character business going on with a nice hook at the end.
I believe Julia's starting to enjoy getting even, thanks to Brad.
Ted
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Oh Ted, I'm having so much fun with this one. Write and rewrite, over and over. I gotta get this done so I can do some editing from word one.
And look at you, a sixer to grace the mantle. Thank you so much, my friend. Hope all is well and you're feeling perky!
Hugs,
Gayle
-
You're most welcome :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You are still doing a great job and I enjoyed reading this. I know I have missed some and that's my problem. I could still tell what's going on.
He patted the sofa cushion next to him. She settled beside him, her head on his shoulder. (an idea! He patted the sofa cushion next to him. She settled in with her head on his shoulder.)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
|
You are still doing a great job and I enjoyed reading this. I know I have missed some and that's my problem. I could still tell what's going on.
He patted the sofa cushion next to him. She settled beside him, her head on his shoulder. (an idea! He patted the sofa cushion next to him. She settled in with her head on his shoulder.)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
-
Hey Barbara, always appreciate input like that. Thank you for it and for the great support and comments all along.
Hugs and love,
Gayle
Comment from Ritsal
Wow, I know Julia is about to explode. Good thing Brad's there to slow her Mustang down. I loved the line about monkeys picking fleas. Good job with this chapter. I do hope Julia let's Hamid suffer a little and doesn't just make a quick kill. The slimey needs to pay.
Rita
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
|
Wow, I know Julia is about to explode. Good thing Brad's there to slow her Mustang down. I loved the line about monkeys picking fleas. Good job with this chapter. I do hope Julia let's Hamid suffer a little and doesn't just make a quick kill. The slimey needs to pay.
Rita
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
-
Oh, he will. He will. I hate him and that's enough! Wow, a sixer, Twinnie! Thanks so much.
Hope you're having a great weekend, and I will not do it too fast. Rex needs to get out!
Whee! Here we go!
Hugs,
Gayle
-
I bet Rex would like a chew toy. Maybe Julia could go Lorena Bobbit on him. :D
-
ROFLMAO! OMG, Rita, I'm gonna need to change the dependz, lol. You go, girl!
