Your life....
From conception to the grave.90 total reviews
Comment from Halfree
Think you have a pretty good poem going . Nice tone, good structure except...always the except... the first verse. Took me several reads to get pass and into the poem as a whole.
Problem: first two words "Your Life" seemed preachy. Took out the "your" and started with "life" and things clicked.
Also the commentary and listing of Bible verses...I considered them part ot the poem...The poem should stand on its own. These verse from the Bible might have triggered your muse but if you have to explain your poem then you need to work on the poem. I don't think you need to explain or justify this poem.
Think it's a good poem but needs a tweak. A good poem does not need an explanation....Think this is pretty good poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Think you have a pretty good poem going . Nice tone, good structure except...always the except... the first verse. Took me several reads to get pass and into the poem as a whole.
Problem: first two words "Your Life" seemed preachy. Took out the "your" and started with "life" and things clicked.
Also the commentary and listing of Bible verses...I considered them part ot the poem...The poem should stand on its own. These verse from the Bible might have triggered your muse but if you have to explain your poem then you need to work on the poem. I don't think you need to explain or justify this poem.
Think it's a good poem but needs a tweak. A good poem does not need an explanation....Think this is pretty good poem.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful review, my question is this, a "good"is given when their are literary mistakes, you are obliged to reveal the mistakes, you haven't done that, otherwise it's an excellent! Thank you Roy.
Comment from amahra
Yes, I agree with your scripture choices to back up the poem. I love the abstract art work that you chose for this writing. I loved the poem for its honesty and the fact that it was well thought out and written.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Yes, I agree with your scripture choices to back up the poem. I love the abstract art work that you chose for this writing. I loved the poem for its honesty and the fact that it was well thought out and written.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your kind thoughtful and encouraging review, blessings Roy.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Royowen,
Lovely piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme!
Simple as well as impressive wording.
Smooth flow with nice rhyming scheme.
"For God has planted treasured gems,
where the naked eye can't view,
it's sown within your vision's view,
reap when the season's time is due!"
Excellent!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Hello Royowen,
Lovely piece of poetry beautifully depicting its theme!
Simple as well as impressive wording.
Smooth flow with nice rhyming scheme.
"For God has planted treasured gems,
where the naked eye can't view,
it's sown within your vision's view,
reap when the season's time is due!"
Excellent!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your comprehensive, thoughtful and generous review. Blessings, Roy.
Comment from shwetacj
Wow! Lovely poem...
The poet has beautifully explained what is life.
We must have that vision to look at it. Though there are moments of happiness and sadness, we must keep going...
Life is a wonderful journey where you become very very thirsty and tired walking and running after your goals, there is a beautiful shadow of happiness, rest, peace, hope waiting for you ahead. Have an awl's eye on the opportunities coming your way and stop not though worries catch you.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Wow! Lovely poem...
The poet has beautifully explained what is life.
We must have that vision to look at it. Though there are moments of happiness and sadness, we must keep going...
Life is a wonderful journey where you become very very thirsty and tired walking and running after your goals, there is a beautiful shadow of happiness, rest, peace, hope waiting for you ahead. Have an awl's eye on the opportunities coming your way and stop not though worries catch you.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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You have captured the heart of the poem exactly. Thank you for the searching, kind and thoughtful review! Blessings, Roy.
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Roy. Such a wonderful penned poem, this one. Life has his seasons. So true... The Lord brings wonderful gems on our way, just when we not expect it. ... I love your thoughts and the beautiful way you expressed it. I can't find a favorite part,
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Hi Roy. Such a wonderful penned poem, this one. Life has his seasons. So true... The Lord brings wonderful gems on our way, just when we not expect it. ... I love your thoughts and the beautiful way you expressed it. I can't find a favorite part,
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Dutchie, for your kind, thoughtful, and most generous comments and wonderful stars! I appreciate it so much! Blessings, Roy.
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You're welcome Roy
Comment from Uniqusatya
Nice interpretation of the meaning of life given.
Well i remember somebody ask "what is the meaning of life" to which they received an answer "it has no meaning,you have to give it a meaning".
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Nice interpretation of the meaning of life given.
Well i remember somebody ask "what is the meaning of life" to which they received an answer "it has no meaning,you have to give it a meaning".
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Great quote, I must remember it! Thank you for your kind and affirming and generous review! Blessings, Roy.
Comment from mfowler
Fantastic, Roy Owen! This is such a gem of faith driven wisdom from opening line to the end. Your form and rhythm are brilliant. They flow like milk and honey. The Ecclesiastes reading has always been one of my favourites. It's almost an existential view of life in that what is provided for the moment is what is to be received. All throughout our "traveler's song,from conception to the grave" we are pushed and pulled by desires for things, power, love, recognition, money etc. But, they don't all come when we want them; they also aren't necessarily what we need, especially in God's sight. Herein, lies the clue -"seek where the Spirit craves", giving when we need and when it is the season. Having often let "don't let the past's persuasive talk,come to steal your harvest's dream" many times in my life (I once held a hurt so deep for ten years that it became my millstone, and never did the person I was angry with ever know one jot about how I felt. Forgiveness came slowly with prayer over time, and when it did, I learnt a great deal about life....'twas the season). I thought this section on how God has equipped us for each season very poignant:God has planted treasured gems,
where the naked eye can't view. You've got the theme of "There is a season", a time that is God's, beautifully captured in this special poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Fantastic, Roy Owen! This is such a gem of faith driven wisdom from opening line to the end. Your form and rhythm are brilliant. They flow like milk and honey. The Ecclesiastes reading has always been one of my favourites. It's almost an existential view of life in that what is provided for the moment is what is to be received. All throughout our "traveler's song,from conception to the grave" we are pushed and pulled by desires for things, power, love, recognition, money etc. But, they don't all come when we want them; they also aren't necessarily what we need, especially in God's sight. Herein, lies the clue -"seek where the Spirit craves", giving when we need and when it is the season. Having often let "don't let the past's persuasive talk,come to steal your harvest's dream" many times in my life (I once held a hurt so deep for ten years that it became my millstone, and never did the person I was angry with ever know one jot about how I felt. Forgiveness came slowly with prayer over time, and when it did, I learnt a great deal about life....'twas the season). I thought this section on how God has equipped us for each season very poignant:God has planted treasured gems,
where the naked eye can't view. You've got the theme of "There is a season", a time that is God's, beautifully captured in this special poem.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Mark for this absolutely brilliant interpretation you have placed on this. The Pastor at our church has been trying the get it through our thick hides for sometime now, but it may be finally sinking in at last! This was an outstanding review, and the 6 stars are appreciated also. Blessings, Roy.
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Poet,
Fine sentiments and a good read. Regrettably, the metre is at times jerky which disrupts the flow and diverts the reader's attention and, since it is clear from the early stanzas, that you are working to a "abab" rhyme scheme, the divergence from this in the final stanza is unfortunate.
Reg
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Dear Poet,
Fine sentiments and a good read. Regrettably, the metre is at times jerky which disrupts the flow and diverts the reader's attention and, since it is clear from the early stanzas, that you are working to a "abab" rhyme scheme, the divergence from this in the final stanza is unfortunate.
Reg
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your review! Blessings, Roy.
Comment from Sanku
For god has planted treasured gems,
wgere the naked eye can't view
it's sown within your vision's view
reap when the season's time is due
This is the best part of the poem .God has chosen a path for us with many surprises .it is for us to find that .A good inspirational poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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For god has planted treasured gems,
wgere the naked eye can't view
it's sown within your vision's view
reap when the season's time is due
This is the best part of the poem .God has chosen a path for us with many surprises .it is for us to find that .A good inspirational poem.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your inspired review, Blessings, Roy.
Comment from sunnilicious
There is a time for everything. Good quotes in your author notes. Good biblical references. Good rhythm. Good rhymes. Good advice. Spiritual. Nice advice.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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There is a time for everything. Good quotes in your author notes. Good biblical references. Good rhythm. Good rhymes. Good advice. Spiritual. Nice advice.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, for this most wonderful and affirming review, Alicia, blessings, Roy.
