The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Bard Writes & Crime in the City"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
13 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I love that her partner is big and tough.. nice touch. How will Lucy still work for the police all day while she's being a nanny tho? Sounds difficult... if she's wanted at the station who will watch the kids?
I like the way you are writing this... the bard is a great character with his poetry (Mikey's... who is REALLY the bard) and touch of craziness (Mikey?). Without the bard this would be just another boring whodunnit with a rich guy and heirs to suspect. You wanted to know if we like the story. Well, I do.. has a LOT of promise. You're doing a fantastic job! :)
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I love that her partner is big and tough.. nice touch. How will Lucy still work for the police all day while she's being a nanny tho? Sounds difficult... if she's wanted at the station who will watch the kids?
I like the way you are writing this... the bard is a great character with his poetry (Mikey's... who is REALLY the bard) and touch of craziness (Mikey?). Without the bard this would be just another boring whodunnit with a rich guy and heirs to suspect. You wanted to know if we like the story. Well, I do.. has a LOT of promise. You're doing a fantastic job! :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
I have no problem with any length on your work. I never notice. This is packed and youbhave found a way to gather some clues. You sseem set now. Lucy in the house. Hopefully some info among those papers...maybe the laptop. Awesome creativity.
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I have no problem with any length on your work. I never notice. This is packed and youbhave found a way to gather some clues. You sseem set now. Lucy in the house. Hopefully some info among those papers...maybe the laptop. Awesome creativity.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Holy smoke--Batman! Mary Poppins! A little birdie tells me that the pesky detective is gonna find something in that bag of stuff. CD's could be about Diamond dancer and maybe she will spill the beans to Ruby who her father was. Else, that laptop could have valuable details connecting Diamond. Them greeting card s could reveal something. There are many possibilities. Something may give clues to unsubs who are the killer. Records and that laptop could finger some suspects and kids. You got so many directions you can go on this novel Mikey. It should make things easier. But it makes me think harder treying to decipher the mysteries and clues. Like playing that mystery board game solving who did it. The detective has a gold mine in that satchel.
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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Holy smoke--Batman! Mary Poppins! A little birdie tells me that the pesky detective is gonna find something in that bag of stuff. CD's could be about Diamond dancer and maybe she will spill the beans to Ruby who her father was. Else, that laptop could have valuable details connecting Diamond. Them greeting card s could reveal something. There are many possibilities. Something may give clues to unsubs who are the killer. Records and that laptop could finger some suspects and kids. You got so many directions you can go on this novel Mikey. It should make things easier. But it makes me think harder treying to decipher the mysteries and clues. Like playing that mystery board game solving who did it. The detective has a gold mine in that satchel.
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Comment Written 23-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
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See. I listen. The problem is that I don't think we have met the killer yet. Or at least the master mind. Hahaha. I think it works better when I don't know myself yet. I let things develop longer so it comes out more naturally. Junior is too much of an idiot to be the mastermind. I didn't know that a couple chapters ago. Now I know that Diamond had a rough childhood before Senior. So, that all factors in. Diamond has a sister. There are other Blackwell brothers and sisters. There is a Doctor who is definately involoved. A butler that is being paid off. A lawyer that might be out of the loop and ready to turn on the family. I don't know. Good times. Your poem did awesome. Up at the top all day. No easy trick with a poem. Check your mail later, no rush. mikey
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Some interesting thoughts Mikey. My secret is when I begin to type words and thought just flow without thinking. I hurry fast as I can to write it down while it is fresh in me mind. That is why I have to do some heavy editing, I never did take typing but I manage. Man, you are looking really good. I like the omnidirections you got and you got plenty of time so there is no need to rush. them brothers and sister Blackwells sound really interesting. A possible suspect? This is killer and I'm getting addictive to this story so stay healthy, please. I'm also, learning a lot just by watching your writing styple and I learn what I'm doing wrong so it's I scratch your back--my back sort of thing. We are both winners. And I really thank you for them two member cent pumps that brought me more reviews putting me recognized. You knew what to do. Heck, I will make you famous, Mikey. I have fun. We are not conservative by a far stretch and I feel, we may be intimidating some folks. At least you are. I bet you are thinking about that laptop, pictures, CD's and post cards.
