A matter of perspective.
Creating gratitude for what is left.5 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. I was the oldest living generation of my family by the time I had children. But my father had a lot of children. Our last family reunion was small. Only one third of us showed up. There was only three hundred and twenty showed up. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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I love the picture. I love the poem. I was the oldest living generation of my family by the time I had children. But my father had a lot of children. Our last family reunion was small. Only one third of us showed up. There was only three hundred and twenty showed up. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Omg. Now that is one big family reunion.
Comment from BeasPeas
Very nice. Those who have passed are always and still with us in our memories. Holidays make the empty chair that much more solemn.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Very nice. Those who have passed are always and still with us in our memories. Holidays make the empty chair that much more solemn.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Pegcook
This poet describes family gatherings and reminiscing so realistically. Spirits are satisfied. And those missing are reinvented as members share with others secrets known only by the owner of the secret. The sad thing is that some folks do not have a family with which to gather. Nice work; lovely illustration
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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This poet describes family gatherings and reminiscing so realistically. Spirits are satisfied. And those missing are reinvented as members share with others secrets known only by the owner of the secret. The sad thing is that some folks do not have a family with which to gather. Nice work; lovely illustration
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from healfromwithin
You chose an interesting picture. Looking at it, before reading your piece, I was sure you would be writing about racial diversity!
The overall message of your poem was good. I thought some of the lines were missing the same smoothness felt in the opening line. Since this contest does not require a pace or meter count, why not make it read more freely?
example:
Another family gathering(;) - good
(Our Spirit(s) (are) satisfied(,yet,)
Fewer members(,)time has wrought.
Cohesive thoughts reinvent those missing;
New perspective(s) fill(remove 's') empty spots;
Gratitude pleads reminiscing.
Good luck on your writing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You chose an interesting picture. Looking at it, before reading your piece, I was sure you would be writing about racial diversity!
The overall message of your poem was good. I thought some of the lines were missing the same smoothness felt in the opening line. Since this contest does not require a pace or meter count, why not make it read more freely?
example:
Another family gathering(;) - good
(Our Spirit(s) (are) satisfied(,yet,)
Fewer members(,)time has wrought.
Cohesive thoughts reinvent those missing;
New perspective(s) fill(remove 's') empty spots;
Gratitude pleads reminiscing.
Good luck on your writing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I think I like your suggestions, especially the use of enjambment. Also like the pronoun our. will make the changes. Tnanks
Comment from Lysa Schuler
this is an excellent write. Very few words that speak alot about family, and remembering. I enjoyed reading this piece very much. Have a blessed Easter.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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this is an excellent write. Very few words that speak alot about family, and remembering. I enjoyed reading this piece very much. Have a blessed Easter.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
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You're very welcome, and thank you for sharing. Many blessings.
