If I Could Just...
Could we?47 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
This poem has a lovely flow to it, Sandra. It would indeed be nice to see the world from the POV of a molecule, or as the wind does. What perspective we would gain.
The weeping willow and the yew are so different - The willow, soft and supple, and a source of healing. The yew, brittle and strong, but deadly poison if injested.
Nice use of ABAB rhyme and a great submission to the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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This poem has a lovely flow to it, Sandra. It would indeed be nice to see the world from the POV of a molecule, or as the wind does. What perspective we would gain.
The weeping willow and the yew are so different - The willow, soft and supple, and a source of healing. The yew, brittle and strong, but deadly poison if injested.
Nice use of ABAB rhyme and a great submission to the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, and kind thoughts. I am so pleased you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xsx
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abab rhyme
excellent use of enjambment
nice touches of alliteration like strong and sturdy
a beautiful message in this thoughtful poem of faith
Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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solid use of abab rhyme
excellent use of enjambment
nice touches of alliteration like strong and sturdy
a beautiful message in this thoughtful poem of faith
Brooke
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so very much, Brooke. :) Sandra
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Four very good stanzas for the ABAB poetry contest, and you have maintained the rhyme scheme throughout. Very poetically written - 'If I Could Just...' - good title, and yes it would be lovely if you and all of us could do just that. Lovely final stanza acknowledging all gifts are from God. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Four very good stanzas for the ABAB poetry contest, and you have maintained the rhyme scheme throughout. Very poetically written - 'If I Could Just...' - good title, and yes it would be lovely if you and all of us could do just that. Lovely final stanza acknowledging all gifts are from God. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Dorothy, for this wonderful review and good luck wishes. :) Sandra.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Sandra, you have penned a very good thought provoking poem. Asking questions, but also making simple statements of events you would like to witness. To see how you see yourself as if others may see you. To understand that we are truly children of God. An excellent contest entry that I wish you great luck. Take care my friend. Love you loads,,,,,,,Jim xoxo
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Sandra, you have penned a very good thought provoking poem. Asking questions, but also making simple statements of events you would like to witness. To see how you see yourself as if others may see you. To understand that we are truly children of God. An excellent contest entry that I wish you great luck. Take care my friend. Love you loads,,,,,,,Jim xoxo
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Jim. I am so pleased you liked this poem, and I'm so happy to see you here. I have been waiting for more Cody and Alex pages! Thank you for the good luck wishes, you are such a lovely friend, Love you too, Happy Easter Jim! :) Sandra
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Happy Easter to you and your family. for some reason I seem unable to post more chapters of Cody and Alex. I may post in the next week. I feel very abandoned by my son for whatever reason he has. I sacrificed my life, my happiness to stay in a marriage that was miserable. I did not want him and his sister to be without a fulltime dad. Now, my daughter has nothing to do with me. that is ok because she is just like her mom. I missed out on what would have been the 2nd greatest love that I could have known. Why? Because of a vow that I made to myself. I can sleep at night knowing that I did the best I could have done for them.
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It sounds like you are in a dark place at the moment, Jim, I am so sorry. You don't deserve that sort of treatment, you are such a gently person. You have your faith, you will reap high rewards for being true to Him as well as to yourself. Post your poems when you feel happier, Jim, I would rather a happy Jim and his poems, than one who is so sad and alone. Life can be so cruel at times. Always here for you, Jim, take care, my friend. Love you. Sandra xxx
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Thank you Sandra for your support, especially your friendship. It helps to have a positive person in my life. Truly is,,,,,jim
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Take care, my dear friend. xx
Comment from royowen
A lovely poem about wondering what it would be to be like God! Who doesn't dwell in time but outside of time, He sees all time like a tapestry spread out before Him! To them who know Him, we have a glimpse! This is a great muse, it is well written, easy to follow narrative, good abab rhyme scheme, nice even meter! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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A lovely poem about wondering what it would be to be like God! Who doesn't dwell in time but outside of time, He sees all time like a tapestry spread out before Him! To them who know Him, we have a glimpse! This is a great muse, it is well written, easy to follow narrative, good abab rhyme scheme, nice even meter! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Roy! I wish you a very Happy Easter! :) Sandra
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The same to you and yours, Sandra, from Roy and Elaine!
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You put us all in our insignificant places with this perfectly written ABAB poem, Sandra. More's the pity most people are too self-absorbed to realize we're just tiny parts a a much larger Divinely created whole. Beautifully done. Happy Easter! :) nancy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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You put us all in our insignificant places with this perfectly written ABAB poem, Sandra. More's the pity most people are too self-absorbed to realize we're just tiny parts a a much larger Divinely created whole. Beautifully done. Happy Easter! :) nancy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Nancy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You have a lovely Easter too! :) Sandra
Comment from Nosha17
This is lovely, excellent choice of words and rhyme. It flows along and has a lovely message to inspire everyone. You have made good use of language to convey your message. Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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This is lovely, excellent choice of words and rhyme. It flows along and has a lovely message to inspire everyone. You have made good use of language to convey your message. Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Faye. Have a wonderful Easter! :)
Comment from jmdg1954
Sandra, this is a powerful poem, simply written that packs a punch. It rhymed well and read smoothly.
I particularly enjoyed -
If I could just stand next to me
and see myself the way you do,
a weeping branch from Willow tree,
or strong and sturdy as the Yew?
Would I change anything about me if I were able to see this? Why couldn't we do it now?
Lots of fruit to ponder if we so choose to... Nicely written. John
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Sandra, this is a powerful poem, simply written that packs a punch. It rhymed well and read smoothly.
I particularly enjoyed -
If I could just stand next to me
and see myself the way you do,
a weeping branch from Willow tree,
or strong and sturdy as the Yew?
Would I change anything about me if I were able to see this? Why couldn't we do it now?
Lots of fruit to ponder if we so choose to... Nicely written. John
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, John, for your lovely review. I wish you a wonderful Easter. :) Sandra
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exquisite piece of poetic art! i absolutely fell in love with your poem! just that simple things sometimes take the hard road. i wish i had 6 stars!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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this is an exquisite piece of poetic art! i absolutely fell in love with your poem! just that simple things sometimes take the hard road. i wish i had 6 stars!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Rebekka, for your lovely review, your words are really worth 6 stars to me! :) Sandra xsx
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Sandra...
Lots to contemplate in this poem... And as you point out, we must not take for granted that which God has given us....
In enjoyed the read...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Hi Sandra...
Lots to contemplate in this poem... And as you point out, we must not take for granted that which God has given us....
In enjoyed the read...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Jax. Hope you have a lovely Easter. :) Sandra. xsx
