Sand In My Eyes
For all our veterans.74 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very nicely done, Ward. Smooth and even, the transition from an a,a,b,b to an a,b,a,b rhyme scheme in the last three stanza is nearly imperceptible.
Many military men and women ask these tough questions of themselves. Am I doing the right thing? Is this even worth it? Do these people even want us here? All we can hope to do is our sworn duty, and do it admirably, and be thankful we still have breath left in our lungs to ask anything at all.
Great work!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Very nicely done, Ward. Smooth and even, the transition from an a,a,b,b to an a,b,a,b rhyme scheme in the last three stanza is nearly imperceptible.
Many military men and women ask these tough questions of themselves. Am I doing the right thing? Is this even worth it? Do these people even want us here? All we can hope to do is our sworn duty, and do it admirably, and be thankful we still have breath left in our lungs to ask anything at all.
Great work!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Dean Kuch,
I've had to do some things that had me questioning my sanity. I'm
just glad I was too old for Iraqi Freedom. There were Marines that had the detail of shooting dogs. I know why, but there were
many other ways.
Thank You,
Ward
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Many times, the insurgents would use dogs much like the Viet Cong used children in Nam as carriers of hand grenades or smaller IED devices. So, to minimize risk and alleviate potential danger and injury to personnel, many dogs were shot if they neared the compounds or encampments. Granted, there were some guys who simply got off on killing these animals for the pure adrenaline rush of killing a living thing. But, for the most part, intentions were honorable.
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Dean,
In 'Nam The 'Cong would use dogs or peacocks
for alarms. We would have to dispatch them with what so ironically called hushpuppy kits.
Sick,
Ward
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Yes, I've heard of those, Ward, or things similar. I had several uncles who went to Nam. All returned, but none were the same afterward, and understandably so.
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Perhaps you now know why I'm crazy. I can use it as an excuse anyway.
Comment from ravenblack
Very poignant piece , the questions it asks "am I fighting for freedom or the freedom to fight" probably the very same questions many who fought there were asking themselves. The propagandized reasons deflate quickly and a soldier only has faith in returning home to cling to. Excellent piece and congrats on the win.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Very poignant piece , the questions it asks "am I fighting for freedom or the freedom to fight" probably the very same questions many who fought there were asking themselves. The propagandized reasons deflate quickly and a soldier only has faith in returning home to cling to. Excellent piece and congrats on the win.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much for your review and for your feedback. I think the questions here have been asked by soldiers in many wars throughout time.
Comment from Eric1
This is a very poignant and very emotional poem, given tomorrows date that makes it even more so, struggled with the rhythm and flow a little but the content and subject more than make up for that.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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This is a very poignant and very emotional poem, given tomorrows date that makes it even more so, struggled with the rhythm and flow a little but the content and subject more than make up for that.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much for your review and for your comments. I did have a little bit of a struggle with the rhythm but it was more important to me to get my idea across.
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A beautiful poem nontheless.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written poem with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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This is a very well written poem with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much for your review and for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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You're welcome
Comment from Sonaleeka
very well deserve poem to win and recognized.I loved it.Worth reading .Thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed this part
It's three a.m. here, yesterday back home
Is she still waiting or has her life moved on
Am I fighting for freedom or the freedom to fight
God bless!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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very well deserve poem to win and recognized.I loved it.Worth reading .Thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed this part
It's three a.m. here, yesterday back home
Is she still waiting or has her life moved on
Am I fighting for freedom or the freedom to fight
God bless!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much for your review and of your comments. I think these thoughts are common for soldiers in any war.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Ward,
Congrats on the win. A proper poem, indeed, for the holiday coming up.
A lone soldier, such an awesome piece of artwork/photo. I'm glad you brought it back.
Nicely done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Hi Ward,
Congrats on the win. A proper poem, indeed, for the holiday coming up.
A lone soldier, such an awesome piece of artwork/photo. I'm glad you brought it back.
Nicely done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you for reviewing this. I wanted one for the upcoming holiday and I thought this one seemed fitting. I felt maybe this one deserved a second look and wanted to find out what others thought.
Comment from Charlene0513
An devastating feat that has and will drag on for as long as we have breathe to breath. Spoken with much depth and captures the essence of the unsung hero who kept giving and giving until they had nothing more to offer.
Charlene
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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An devastating feat that has and will drag on for as long as we have breathe to breath. Spoken with much depth and captures the essence of the unsung hero who kept giving and giving until they had nothing more to offer.
Charlene
Comment Written 02-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your feedback. I think it is possible that as long as there have been soldiers they may have had similar thoughts while so far from home.
Comment from DanielEkine
Definitely, the story of a soldier at war, yet he fears he might have lost his love interest. He prays, and he feels unsure of what he's doing. He's having a heart to heart with himself. The rhyme used is beautifully executed. "The smell of death in the air."
A remarkable artwork.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Definitely, the story of a soldier at war, yet he fears he might have lost his love interest. He prays, and he feels unsure of what he's doing. He's having a heart to heart with himself. The rhyme used is beautifully executed. "The smell of death in the air."
A remarkable artwork.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much for your feedback. I think soldiers throughout history may have had similar thoughts when they have been in similar situations.
Comment from Leineco
What a powerfully moving poem. . .the doubts and questions a soldier must feel! Right or wrong. . .truth or lie. . .friend or foe. . .live or die. . . will she wait or move along. . .how do I rectify this with God?
Amazing write! And that final stanza
What's on my face may look like tears
But you know that's just a lie
Soldiers don't show pain or even fears
It's just the sand that's in my eyes
literally brought a tear to my eye.
I truly wish I had been more frugal with my sixes this week :-(
but in my heart it's what I award.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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What a powerfully moving poem. . .the doubts and questions a soldier must feel! Right or wrong. . .truth or lie. . .friend or foe. . .live or die. . . will she wait or move along. . .how do I rectify this with God?
Amazing write! And that final stanza
What's on my face may look like tears
But you know that's just a lie
Soldiers don't show pain or even fears
It's just the sand that's in my eyes
literally brought a tear to my eye.
I truly wish I had been more frugal with my sixes this week :-(
but in my heart it's what I award.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate when someone understands what I am trying to express when I write something. I wanted to get across the uncertainty a soldier can face when he is trying to do the right thing but circumstances make that difficult. Like trying to decide if the person approaching is an innocent civilian just going about their lives or someone who means to harm the soldier and those he is responsible for. And the consequences of making the wrong choice.
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Yes, it is a winner! Very well written an message is very clear. Good form and good content! It is also not to unbearably long....length just right to hold attention....great job!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Yes, it is a winner! Very well written an message is very clear. Good form and good content! It is also not to unbearably long....length just right to hold attention....great job!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your review and feedback. It can be hard to get one's message across without making it too long. I've faced that problem when trying to write my own review. But then there are the haikus.
