Sand In My Eyes
For all our veterans.74 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
This poem deserved to be a contest winner. It is such a haunting song for me, where soldiers become hardened souls in the midst of consistent exposure to war, death and senseless fighting. The pain, the agony and the wasted cause, youth and energy in exchange for what?. i can feel that emotion through your poem. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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This poem deserved to be a contest winner. It is such a haunting song for me, where soldiers become hardened souls in the midst of consistent exposure to war, death and senseless fighting. The pain, the agony and the wasted cause, youth and energy in exchange for what?. i can feel that emotion through your poem. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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nassus57,
Thank you for a great review. No question you got it.
Ward
Comment from Sanku
This is a very touching poem about one who has been sent out of the country for fighting a war.many lines go straight to heart and cause the reader to wince in pain .The second stanza.Not knowing what are they fighting for, thoughts of home ,the time difference -Then the last stanza all bring out the conflict within the soul of a soldier who is fighting outside his country.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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This is a very touching poem about one who has been sent out of the country for fighting a war.many lines go straight to heart and cause the reader to wince in pain .The second stanza.Not knowing what are they fighting for, thoughts of home ,the time difference -Then the last stanza all bring out the conflict within the soul of a soldier who is fighting outside his country.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Sanku,
Thank you for a great review, The 6 , and your comments.
Ward
Comment from ravim
Perfect poetry. You have touched the heart with some lovely verses. Esp I liked 'How many wrongs will make what we do right' and 'The enemy looks just like my friend.' And you finish if off with the 'I' being a soldier. It can't get better than that.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Perfect poetry. You have touched the heart with some lovely verses. Esp I liked 'How many wrongs will make what we do right' and 'The enemy looks just like my friend.' And you finish if off with the 'I' being a soldier. It can't get better than that.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2014
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Ravim,
Thank you for your review and your comments.
Ward
Comment from Ben Colder
I applaud you for your service and the strong worded poem that you bring to us here on Fan Story. Many will read but never comment. You have my blessings
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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I applaud you for your service and the strong worded poem that you bring to us here on Fan Story. Many will read but never comment. You have my blessings
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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I appreciate those who do take the time to comment. Thank you for doing so.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Wonderful craft of words in this spiritual poem. Good choice of words that drive home your inner thoughts. Well penned and delightfully delivered.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Wonderful craft of words in this spiritual poem. Good choice of words that drive home your inner thoughts. Well penned and delightfully delivered.
ola thomas
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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I appreciate the feedback. Thank you for taking the time.
Comment from ArtGal
I can certainly understand why you won this contest. Your poem is excellent, and says so much. You held nothing back in your feelings of being at war, and we're all so proud of you and the other soldiers who fight for our country every day. But at times I have to ask if we should be there! I'm so pleased to read that you had the Lord with you, and that in itself is comforting. Also the fact that you can close your eyes and dream of home. We know it's not sand in your eyes, and I hope every soldier cries because they wouldn't be human if they didn't. I'm glad that you brought this back for the Fourth, and so very appropriate. Thanks so much for re-posting this. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I can certainly understand why you won this contest. Your poem is excellent, and says so much. You held nothing back in your feelings of being at war, and we're all so proud of you and the other soldiers who fight for our country every day. But at times I have to ask if we should be there! I'm so pleased to read that you had the Lord with you, and that in itself is comforting. Also the fact that you can close your eyes and dream of home. We know it's not sand in your eyes, and I hope every soldier cries because they wouldn't be human if they didn't. I'm glad that you brought this back for the Fourth, and so very appropriate. Thanks so much for re-posting this. . .Sharon
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. I think many soldiers have the same doubts and questions. Both come easily so far from home in uncertain situations.
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You're so very welcome, and please know that each and every one of you are true blessings for us. God bless you and all of the others...Sharon
Comment from Nosha17
The message to me was the war, was it valid or not, and was it justified in the eyes of God. Well chosen words, imagery and rhyme to convey your message. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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The message to me was the war, was it valid or not, and was it justified in the eyes of God. Well chosen words, imagery and rhyme to convey your message. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I think many soldiers throughout time have asked themselves questions similar to these. There are going to be times of doubt.
Comment from Dawny53
well, heres your feedback and I'm happy to give it. Your writing is very good and you need to keep writing. You have a lot of talent and don't keep it tucked away. The only thing I would work on is rhythm, but I am a novice so don't take it from me alone.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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well, heres your feedback and I'm happy to give it. Your writing is very good and you need to keep writing. You have a lot of talent and don't keep it tucked away. The only thing I would work on is rhythm, but I am a novice so don't take it from me alone.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Dawny53,
Thank you for a great review. I think you may have hit upon a small problem I have. You see I was a song writer for 30 something years. Arthritis caught up with me, depending on
other musicians didn't work. I'm still haven't got the rhythm
worked out with out music and I'm not sawing the legs off the
the piano. That's for hearing anyway:) Ward
Comment from adewpearl
Congratulations on your contest win :-)
good alliteration and assonance in standing in the sand
solid rhyming couplets
Lord, I need - add comma for direct address
good alliteration in fighting for freedom
and living in a land and grab our gear and beduin beggar
a compelling expression of a soldier's fears and doubts and deepest feelings when so far away from home and in the line of fire
Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Congratulations on your contest win :-)
good alliteration and assonance in standing in the sand
solid rhyming couplets
Lord, I need - add comma for direct address
good alliteration in fighting for freedom
and living in a land and grab our gear and beduin beggar
a compelling expression of a soldier's fears and doubts and deepest feelings when so far away from home and in the line of fire
Brooke
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your review and for your comments. I appreciate the pointer on the punctuation. That is frequently something I need help with.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think you have written an amazing spiritual poem. Most soldiers do not know the person they are killing, yet they do it because they are the enemy. In another world, another time, they could be your neighbour, and friend. But, this is how life is and we carry on. I feel so sorry for our soldiers, they have to do and see things that no one should have to. You wrote this with such humanity and compassion, it really did deserve that winning ribbon. Congratulations. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I think you have written an amazing spiritual poem. Most soldiers do not know the person they are killing, yet they do it because they are the enemy. In another world, another time, they could be your neighbour, and friend. But, this is how life is and we carry on. I feel so sorry for our soldiers, they have to do and see things that no one should have to. You wrote this with such humanity and compassion, it really did deserve that winning ribbon. Congratulations. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I thought this one would be appropriate for the holiday.
