Comment from closetpoetjester

Excellent

Wow Steve, a beautiful haunting lull to this as time ravaged the special place where your sweetheart's garden bloomed.
I enjoyed this stanza in particular:

"Cracked the windows, sightless, staring;
hanging drunk, the wayward door;
shingles tossed by stormy blaring,
bony litter on the floor."

I thought your wayward door, albeit full as the proverbial boot was a priceless description, as were MANY lines in this. Outta sixers, sorry, but this superb write is deserving of one.
Cheers P

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks, Phillippa, for the great review and the virtual sixer.

Channelling Edgar Allan - I think his muse came visiting while I was dreaming.

Steve

Comment from Njorgensen

Exceptional

This is simply amazing. The melody of the piece creates a smooth rocking effect that eases the reader through each stanza. Your use of metaphors is extraordinary. And I admire your keen utilization of imagery. If ever there was need for a six star rating, it would be now. Excellent work, simply fantastic!

Njorgensen

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks for the great review - I am glad you caught the intended musicality of the piece.

I appreciate the kind words and the six stars.

Steve

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Wow! What a lonely, desolate feeling, as you write of love gone. Very haunting as well. Your lines, metaphors flow with such ease, as if the wind blew them across my screen. Nice alliteration. Rhyming smooth as can be. Awesome! Les

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Les, thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Cedar

Exceptional

This is an exceptional piece of writing my friend. The presentation leads the reader right into the beginning of a wild and wicked storm. The style of rhythm that you use is outstanding, it really never lets the reader leave the page. Once they begin the first line, they're hooked. You make your stories so interesting and exciting, everyone wants to come back for more. This is a fantastic read and in my opinion, it will be hard to beat. Bill

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Bill, thanks for reading and for the great review, not to mention the galaxy of stars. I appreciate the warmth of the review. Let's see if the judges agree with you.

Steve

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with weeps/wind...seething/sighing...rasps/rhythm...growl/grumble...with/wolfish...black/butt...sightless/staring...still/sea. Good rhythm and flow. Good thought provoking message that holds my attention from start to finish.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

RR, thanks for the generous review.

Steve

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Wow steve what a beautiful piece of perfect ABAB rhyming poetry..phonetically perfect with no proximate rhyme in sight!
I really think you are in for a big chance here Steve your use of descriptive metaphors is sublime. the only thing you have tries so hard with impressive alliteration , simile and metaphor thats sometimes there can be too many superlatives. Look it really is beautiful, I'm just used of writing in simple layman type rhyme and verse thats all but each to their own I suppose

dip

LFE CONGRATULATIONS!! WELL DESERVED!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks, Dip.

I know, what you mean, but hopefully there is still a place for 'over the top' and lush description in this style of romantic verse.

Steve

reply by DR DIP on 19-Apr-2014

I'd vote for you for sure

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Exceptional

Absolute melancholy, impermanence, and a sense of loss escapes from every stanza. The cadence and the rhymes are pristine. Classic kiwi. Good luck. Kenny

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks, Kenny for the warm review and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Andrewajgblue

Exceptional

I thought this was fantastic, excellent rhyming and great imagery, I liked your descriptive wording, some good alliteration, I can't fault it, great writing,
Worth six stars easily ,
Andrew

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Andrew, thanks so much for the warm review and the six shiny stars - I appreciate it.

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

A very good poem for the abab contest. Good descriptive work about the abandoned cottage. 'Hanging drunk, the wayward door' good line and use of metaphor. Your penultimate line - small typo 'still the 'sea moans' or 'seas moan'. I love the finality of the repetition of never, never, never. A good read that flows beautifully. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Dorothy, thanks for the kind words and the sharp eye for the typo - now fixed!

Glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from rouskin

Excellent

They say that abandonment is a wound that never heals
Perfectly written piece Had I six they would be yours Best of luck in the contest
Blessings, Rouskin

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014

Thanks for the kind words and the virtual six.

Steve