NaPoWriMo 2014
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Behind the Curtains"30 Days of Poetry
9 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I did not know you are a dancer--obviously in spirit, but not on the stage! I enjoyed your repeats of "tonight" for emphasis and the lovely corresponding artwork. Many cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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I did not know you are a dancer--obviously in spirit, but not on the stage! I enjoyed your repeats of "tonight" for emphasis and the lovely corresponding artwork. Many cheers- Joan
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Hi Joan. I wrote based on the artwork. Thank you.
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You certainly paralleled the artwork well. Cheers- Joan
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Sunni,
"Behind the Curtain" is excellent free verse with a good unconventional structure and good flow. It has good figurative language and imagery (flow with techniques). The repetition "tonight" seems to work although repeating a word is usually not good practice.
Preston
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Hi, Sunni,
"Behind the Curtain" is excellent free verse with a good unconventional structure and good flow. It has good figurative language and imagery (flow with techniques). The repetition "tonight" seems to work although repeating a word is usually not good practice.
Preston
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014
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Thank you
Enjoy Good Friday into a wonderful Easter Weekend :)
Comment from akulkumol
Beautiful poem of self perfection. Nicely written and felt like I was enjoying the dance. Beautiful flow loved reading it aloud and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Beautiful poem of self perfection. Nicely written and felt like I was enjoying the dance. Beautiful flow loved reading it aloud and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Thank you
Have a wonderful Easter Weekend :)
Comment from kiwisteveh
You do a good job of getting inside the head of the dancer preparing for a performance.
I am not familiar with the form - I am assuming the repletion of 'tonight' , giving it huge importance in the piece, is a requirement of the form.
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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You do a good job of getting inside the head of the dancer preparing for a performance.
I am not familiar with the form - I am assuming the repletion of 'tonight' , giving it huge importance in the piece, is a requirement of the form.
Steve
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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last word in 2 lines of first couplet repeated in the last line of the next 4 couplets and thaat is 1 of many rumi/ghazal poetic forms.
Thank you. Have a good long weekend with drugstore candy. And goodnite :)
Comment from country ranch writer
TO DANCE AND FELL THE SPLENDER IN BEING ABLE TO SHARE ONES WORK AND HAVE THEM FEEL THE FEELING YOU DO WHEN YOU DANCE AND RECREATE THE MOMENT
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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TO DANCE AND FELL THE SPLENDER IN BEING ABLE TO SHARE ONES WORK AND HAVE THEM FEEL THE FEELING YOU DO WHEN YOU DANCE AND RECREATE THE MOMENT
Comment Written 17-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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Did you see the movie 'Black Swan'? That was something extreme about a pretty ballerina. Thank you :)
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no I haven't will have to look for it
Comment from Irish Rain
What a tense evening for the dancer, a lot riding on tonight! I think this is a great inside view to a dancers 'before performance' thoughts! Blessings tonight!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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What a tense evening for the dancer, a lot riding on tonight! I think this is a great inside view to a dancers 'before performance' thoughts! Blessings tonight!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014
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I read that live performances can be very intense before curtain call. Jitters.... thank you. Goodnite :)
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Yes, some performers actually get physically sick...I had to recite 'The Night Before Christmas' before our school once...and sing the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island' can you believe it? It was a spaghetti dinner night at our school...and I had a big spaghetti stain on the front of my new green dress...I STILL remember all the words to both, ha ha . Must have been traumatic!
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Childhood woes.... at least spaghetti was involved. Enjoy those Easter candies this week(end). Goodnite :)
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You too!
Comment from Chocolate Chip
This is a very good poem. I truly enjoyed how you used "performance" in a way that describes one interacting in life. One can only act the way in which to live on a daily basis.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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This is a very good poem. I truly enjoyed how you used "performance" in a way that describes one interacting in life. One can only act the way in which to live on a daily basis.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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I was just writing about the ballerina in the artwork. However, I'm glad you picked up at metaphoric outlook. Thank you :)
Comment from royowen
Good art study of when you were dancing Alicia! A very clever, interesting poetic style you have chosen here! Good insightful look into the introspection of the dancer, well written, clever repetitive use of 'tonight'. Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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Good art study of when you were dancing Alicia! A very clever, interesting poetic style you have chosen here! Good insightful look into the introspection of the dancer, well written, clever repetitive use of 'tonight'. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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I was never a dancer, Roy. It's just from the picture and memories from watching the ballet in NYC and Miami. Thank you. Have a good day :)
Comment from donette1914
this is so good of being a dancer and dancing graceful and i love the artwork and this is a well penned job it was a pleasure to read your work
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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this is so good of being a dancer and dancing graceful and i love the artwork and this is a well penned job it was a pleasure to read your work
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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You're nice. Thank you :)
