What the Ducks Can Teach Us
quatrains in 8/7/8/7165 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
There are so many lesson we can learn from ducks, and geese too for that matter. The metaphor of the pond is wonderful - for me it represents faith, or our core values. That is indeed what supports us and we need not question why.
V2L4 - I take it you are thinking of spoil as two syllables? For me it's only one, so that line trips up a bit. Dictionary.com indicates that it's one also. The 'oil' sound is a diphthong.
Suggestion for a fix:
to spoil them their enjoyment.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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There are so many lesson we can learn from ducks, and geese too for that matter. The metaphor of the pond is wonderful - for me it represents faith, or our core values. That is indeed what supports us and we need not question why.
V2L4 - I take it you are thinking of spoil as two syllables? For me it's only one, so that line trips up a bit. Dictionary.com indicates that it's one also. The 'oil' sound is a diphthong.
Suggestion for a fix:
to spoil them their enjoyment.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, Rose. Freedictionary.com also lists it as one syllable, but then when you listen to the three audio readings they have of the word, all three people say it exactly the same way I do - spoi/el - the second beat is there when each one says it. :-) Brooke
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It's a common way to pronounce it - oy uhl, but it's incorrect. My elocution teacher went extensively into diphthongs, so I guess that's why it stood out when I read it. If you look up the word diphthong on dictionary.com, you'll see that they use the word 'boil' as an example of what a diphthong is. However, you are the master, and I am the novice.
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I'm a firm believer that poetry is meant to be read aloud, and if most people are saying a word a certain way, then that is the way the poem flows. I can't even force my mouth to omit the second beat in spoil, so I guess my mouth just doesn't know how to follow the law of dipthongs. LOL :-)
Comment from Adri7enne
If we could only learn to float along, as peacefully as a duck on a pond, we might just reach Nirvana! Good reminder, Brooke. Lovely picture!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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If we could only learn to float along, as peacefully as a duck on a pond, we might just reach Nirvana! Good reminder, Brooke. Lovely picture!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014
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Adrienne, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
Be careful, some female members might want to hire Sawyer as their Physical Fitness Trainer. Non swimmers could definitely take a tip from ducks to learn how to float. This is very well written. Good job.
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Be careful, some female members might want to hire Sawyer as their Physical Fitness Trainer. Non swimmers could definitely take a tip from ducks to learn how to float. This is very well written. Good job.
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Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Charlie, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a very true piece of writing from the author in this post. We spend too much time worrying about how we will make ends meet when it tells us in the Bible that God caters for the creatures of the wild so he will take care of us in the same way. This is true because just like the animals of the wild some of us make it and some of us don't. That is just a fact of life.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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This is a very true piece of writing from the author in this post. We spend too much time worrying about how we will make ends meet when it tells us in the Bible that God caters for the creatures of the wild so he will take care of us in the same way. This is true because just like the animals of the wild some of us make it and some of us don't. That is just a fact of life.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Tomes, thank you so very much for your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
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It deserved the six stars.
Comment from rama devi
Good didactic reflections and yes, those ducks make a prime example for us on how to stay afloat!
This has great meter (as long as one counts SPOIL as two syllables).
Superb flow and rhyming.
It also has a sense of eloquent finesse in the phrasing, especially in the first stanza:
Perhaps the ducks who grace the pond
have lessons they can teach us
about the way to lead our lives
when worry's poised to reach us.
Nice alliteration of L, W and P and consonance of S. Great rhyme pair!
They trust the pond will hold them up,
its purpose to be buoyant --
No hesitation holds them back
to spoil their enjoyment.
Good alliteration and consonance of P and alliteration of H
Anxiety can rule our days
with worries it has brought us,
or we can live contentedly
with what the ducks have taught us.
Fine alliteration of W and C
Great rhymes!
Nice presentation, though the picture is fizzy in the big view.
Love the lesson. Well voiced!
Warmly,
rd
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Good didactic reflections and yes, those ducks make a prime example for us on how to stay afloat!
This has great meter (as long as one counts SPOIL as two syllables).
Superb flow and rhyming.
It also has a sense of eloquent finesse in the phrasing, especially in the first stanza:
Perhaps the ducks who grace the pond
have lessons they can teach us
about the way to lead our lives
when worry's poised to reach us.
Nice alliteration of L, W and P and consonance of S. Great rhyme pair!
They trust the pond will hold them up,
its purpose to be buoyant --
No hesitation holds them back
to spoil their enjoyment.
Good alliteration and consonance of P and alliteration of H
Anxiety can rule our days
with worries it has brought us,
or we can live contentedly
with what the ducks have taught us.
Fine alliteration of W and C
Great rhymes!
Nice presentation, though the picture is fizzy in the big view.
Love the lesson. Well voiced!
Warmly,
rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, rama devi, for your thoughtful and attentive review :-) Brooke
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:-))
