A Heart so Cold
In the title59 total reviews
Comment from Njorgensen
Hi Sandra,
This is a subject old as time. Jilted by someone and ultimately by love. We've all suffered this fate. Love is a double-edged sword, though well worth the risk. I liked the word choice here and the overall flow of the poem.
Sincerely,
Njorgensen
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Hi Sandra,
This is a subject old as time. Jilted by someone and ultimately by love. We've all suffered this fate. Love is a double-edged sword, though well worth the risk. I liked the word choice here and the overall flow of the poem.
Sincerely,
Njorgensen
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Njorgensen, for your lovely review. :) Sandra
Comment from Hadria
I like this so much, Sandra, it is well thought out, and flows along very smoothly, except for the second line, first verse, which I think would scan better if it was
"And then he knew just what he had to do", do you think?
Also second verse, first line, would "when he came TO your side" read better?
the line "Your stole his heart then took away his sun" is really moving. Hadria
The colours in the illustration are just perfect
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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I like this so much, Sandra, it is well thought out, and flows along very smoothly, except for the second line, first verse, which I think would scan better if it was
"And then he knew just what he had to do", do you think?
Also second verse, first line, would "when he came TO your side" read better?
the line "Your stole his heart then took away his sun" is really moving. Hadria
The colours in the illustration are just perfect
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Dear Hadria, thank you! I had struggled a bit with the second verse, I have changed it to your suggestion, I have also changed the 2nd line in the first stanza, yes, it does sound better. Thank you so much for your lovely review. :) Sandra
Comment from risktaker
A fantastic portrayal of insensitivity for the feelings of another. I can feel the humiliation of the rejected. I can visualize the arrogance and smug attitude of the woman. We all reap what we sow. Many times we reject a blessing in disguise due to our sense of entitlement and superiority. I love your choice of words and the excellent picture. thanks
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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A fantastic portrayal of insensitivity for the feelings of another. I can feel the humiliation of the rejected. I can visualize the arrogance and smug attitude of the woman. We all reap what we sow. Many times we reject a blessing in disguise due to our sense of entitlement and superiority. I love your choice of words and the excellent picture. thanks
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, risktaker, for your lovely review. :)Sandra
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You are welcomed.
Comment from DALLAS01
This poem gives an indication that this is somehow linked to either a personal experience or a keen observation of the real thing. Emotionally packed.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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This poem gives an indication that this is somehow linked to either a personal experience or a keen observation of the real thing. Emotionally packed.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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A bit of both. Thank you Dallas01, for your lovely review. :) Sandra
Comment from barleygirl
Very well written verse with solid rhyming, tho rhythm didn't seem consistent to me, & the intensity of your message is conveyed with clear word choices & phrasing. It's a well-told story with a strong point of view that culminates in a strong ending which I like very much. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Very well written verse with solid rhyming, tho rhythm didn't seem consistent to me, & the intensity of your message is conveyed with clear word choices & phrasing. It's a well-told story with a strong point of view that culminates in a strong ending which I like very much. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Barleygirl for your lovely review. xsx Sandra
Comment from JB Lynn
In front of everyone you stole his pride
And in that moment something in him died
-Heartbreaking, but this provides a nice strong image. The callousness of the other person can really be felt, here.
I loved the rhythm in the last two lines of this piece, especially.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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In front of everyone you stole his pride
And in that moment something in him died
-Heartbreaking, but this provides a nice strong image. The callousness of the other person can really be felt, here.
I loved the rhythm in the last two lines of this piece, especially.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, JB Lynn, I'm so pleased you liked it. :) Sandra
Comment from annp
what a sad message
your last two lines
"Sometime perhaps true love will come your way
And then perchance you'll come to rue this day."
the pain of reaping what you sow
well done
annp
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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what a sad message
your last two lines
"Sometime perhaps true love will come your way
And then perchance you'll come to rue this day."
the pain of reaping what you sow
well done
annp
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you, annp, for your thoughtful review! :) xsx Sandra
Comment from Gungalo
You didn't even care when you were told
You have no feelings just a heart that's cold
Some say that to the devil you've been sold
And that you'll be alone when you grow old
Awesome Sandra and done in mono-rhyme. Took some thought eh?
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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You didn't even care when you were told
You have no feelings just a heart that's cold
Some say that to the devil you've been sold
And that you'll be alone when you grow old
Awesome Sandra and done in mono-rhyme. Took some thought eh?
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Gungalo, I am in that sort of dull mood, must start getting a life! LOL, thank you so much for your great review, my friend. xsx Sandra
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Sure thing you.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello. This has great meter and good rhzmes...it is a good poem on the age old story...those who trsh hearts...will thez learn or just keep going. i like the was it ened in couplets.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Hello. This has great meter and good rhzmes...it is a good poem on the age old story...those who trsh hearts...will thez learn or just keep going. i like the was it ened in couplets.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, padumachitta, for this lovely review! xsx Sandra
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hi...sorrz about all the typos...fs, has done something odd to the edotir and mixed up a bunch of my keyboard fnctons....
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I know exactly what you mean. LOL, don't worry, I understood what you were saying. :) x
