Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The End & The Beginning"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
18 total reviews
Comment from reconciled
Exceptional story telling....Hello Mike...-smile- well...I'm sure it wont last long enjoy it while you can....hope you get it this time...love Michael
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Exceptional story telling....Hello Mike...-smile- well...I'm sure it wont last long enjoy it while you can....hope you get it this time...love Michael
Comment Written 27-May-2014
Comment from ragamuffin
"For humanity, the sum of the parts destroys their value. It is an overwhelming fear of being meaningless. Yet, the greater the whole, the greater are its parts. How do we get that wrong?"
Sums it up excellently. Great observation on human nature. Very thought provoking story- if only people were willing to think beyond their own immediate wants and needs.
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"For humanity, the sum of the parts destroys their value. It is an overwhelming fear of being meaningless. Yet, the greater the whole, the greater are its parts. How do we get that wrong?"
Sums it up excellently. Great observation on human nature. Very thought provoking story- if only people were willing to think beyond their own immediate wants and needs.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, the clocking line was unexpected and full of humor. "Resilience" is one of my favorite counseling terms. The end is satisfactory because with Ma's common sense, and Johnny's philosophical understanding of the heart of mankind, it makes it realistic and thought provoking. This one is a keeper. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, the clocking line was unexpected and full of humor. "Resilience" is one of my favorite counseling terms. The end is satisfactory because with Ma's common sense, and Johnny's philosophical understanding of the heart of mankind, it makes it realistic and thought provoking. This one is a keeper. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Wow, that was some ending, good ending to a good story. I am sure you will be preparing this for publication, if you need any help, let me know. I liked the strength of the character, Christina, you cannot help but like her character, we need more women like that, soft, feminine side but tough, too. You missed one leg of your trip to the UK, Chester and the Roman Wall, hope you find time to read it some time! Great write, Faye
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Wow, that was some ending, good ending to a good story. I am sure you will be preparing this for publication, if you need any help, let me know. I liked the strength of the character, Christina, you cannot help but like her character, we need more women like that, soft, feminine side but tough, too. You missed one leg of your trip to the UK, Chester and the Roman Wall, hope you find time to read it some time! Great write, Faye
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Sprinkles the poodle survived? I did not know if you would find your path to the end. Congratulations. You have some pretty memorable characters here and good scenes. Your work has just begun. Bring on the dolphins.
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Sprinkles the poodle survived? I did not know if you would find your path to the end. Congratulations. You have some pretty memorable characters here and good scenes. Your work has just begun. Bring on the dolphins.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
Comment from l.raven
Michael, you couldn't have ended better...they just when back to the beginning...as it should be...as the world has for years...and you never know where it will take....another great one Michael...truly...I say that because it is true and for no other reason...congratulations on a great ending...Luff Linda xxoo
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Michael, you couldn't have ended better...they just when back to the beginning...as it should be...as the world has for years...and you never know where it will take....another great one Michael...truly...I say that because it is true and for no other reason...congratulations on a great ending...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Great ending! Just enough foreboding to do a sequel, should you choose to do so. Maybe you could do a little scene where johnny and christine go to a higher spot and look out over the landscape, seeing thousands of people around them, and make some reference to a 'sea of humanity'. (The irony would be that to ocean had tried to destroy the sea, or something like that.)
Maybe inscribe in the rockface, an epitaph to all the lives that were lost. Maybe all the brain waves going out attracted a UFO...Nah, that's a little too 'out there'.
Great book, I look forward to seeing it published.
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Great ending! Just enough foreboding to do a sequel, should you choose to do so. Maybe you could do a little scene where johnny and christine go to a higher spot and look out over the landscape, seeing thousands of people around them, and make some reference to a 'sea of humanity'. (The irony would be that to ocean had tried to destroy the sea, or something like that.)
Maybe inscribe in the rockface, an epitaph to all the lives that were lost. Maybe all the brain waves going out attracted a UFO...Nah, that's a little too 'out there'.
Great book, I look forward to seeing it published.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Love the ending and the honesty in your philosophy. There will always be tribal conflict no matter WHAT the size of the "tribes" ... from two campfires to two world powers wiht nukes.
>>Every kind of tear all at once, joy, sorrow, regret, hope even tears to name in the future if our understanding grew.
THAT was an outstanding sentence. Lovvvve it!!
Congratulations, Mikey. You turned a "where am I going with this" into a believable and interesting story. Well done!
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Love the ending and the honesty in your philosophy. There will always be tribal conflict no matter WHAT the size of the "tribes" ... from two campfires to two world powers wiht nukes.
>>Every kind of tear all at once, joy, sorrow, regret, hope even tears to name in the future if our understanding grew.
THAT was an outstanding sentence. Lovvvve it!!
Congratulations, Mikey. You turned a "where am I going with this" into a believable and interesting story. Well done!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Congratulations!! An excellent ending that was realistic and satisfying. Iloved the humor and that was a trademark throughout your piece.
The drama was never over the top even though it could easily have been so. What set this apart for me was the gentle but on the money reflections on the nature of man. That set this apart for me as more than just a great story. It made it an important work to ponder. Awesome! NG
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Congratulations!! An excellent ending that was realistic and satisfying. Iloved the humor and that was a trademark throughout your piece.
The drama was never over the top even though it could easily have been so. What set this apart for me was the gentle but on the money reflections on the nature of man. That set this apart for me as more than just a great story. It made it an important work to ponder. Awesome! NG
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I think this needs a lot of work, Mikey. The dolphins might have worked, but without any backstory, it just seems cheesy I'm afraid. The whole thing is going to rest on the re-write, I think. Otherwise, the ending just doesn't make a lot of sense. Who was it who said, "I don't know what weapons will be used to fight World War III, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones?" That, I think, is one of your messages. If another is that nature itself has become the enemy, because of our misuse of the planet, then you need to build that up in the backstory. To tell the truth, this reminds me in a way of when I used to do sandtray play therapy with children. Every one of the boys, without exceptions, would make a war, with "bad guys" and a battle. They rarely knew who the bad guys were or why they needed to be killed. Girls never did this. The idea being, maybe you don't need armadas and a huge battle. Chinese & Russians are just today's bad guys, you know. I think this is a bigger story than that, and you can tell it, I think. The real enemy, it seems to me, is us, and what we've done to the planet. Just a few thoughts - -
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I think this needs a lot of work, Mikey. The dolphins might have worked, but without any backstory, it just seems cheesy I'm afraid. The whole thing is going to rest on the re-write, I think. Otherwise, the ending just doesn't make a lot of sense. Who was it who said, "I don't know what weapons will be used to fight World War III, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones?" That, I think, is one of your messages. If another is that nature itself has become the enemy, because of our misuse of the planet, then you need to build that up in the backstory. To tell the truth, this reminds me in a way of when I used to do sandtray play therapy with children. Every one of the boys, without exceptions, would make a war, with "bad guys" and a battle. They rarely knew who the bad guys were or why they needed to be killed. Girls never did this. The idea being, maybe you don't need armadas and a huge battle. Chinese & Russians are just today's bad guys, you know. I think this is a bigger story than that, and you can tell it, I think. The real enemy, it seems to me, is us, and what we've done to the planet. Just a few thoughts - -
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
