Comment from honeytree

Excellent

The words are really great to read.

We can all dream but dreams at times don't come true

Sometimes they do.

To dream can be very creative but we have

to step back at times and live our lives as best we can.

Annie

I have no six

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2014

Comment from healfromwithin

Good

Opening line immediately brought John Lennon's "Imagine" to mind. This poem was very dissimilar; instead of a "peace" them, this was much sadder, feeling of depression.

This line was not clear to me: Got flat bottom out on the back water

This line was note clear to me: So the world is but a travel

I do not understand this line in correlation to where it is placed in the piece: And floor of loving

verses 6 & 7 need separation / formatting

verse 8 is 5 lines and seems to switch themes completely (from alcohol /pill use to physical/sexual, possibly insinuating that sex should replace drug/alcohol addiction?

The work has some potential to be quite good with a few edits.

Good luck on your writing.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014

Flat bottom is a fishing boat back water is a pond created from river flooding, thnks and smiles, best day you can find..