First Flight
Waiting a lifetime for your dreams...36 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah, delayed flight?! I should say so, the poor woman had to wait until she retired to be able to afford it.However, your story poem here is not far fetched, because that is what many have to do, delay such a trip until time and obligations, and money can afford them the luxury of doing so.
very well done, the rhyming in this entry was outstanding!
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Hah, delayed flight?! I should say so, the poor woman had to wait until she retired to be able to afford it.However, your story poem here is not far fetched, because that is what many have to do, delay such a trip until time and obligations, and money can afford them the luxury of doing so.
very well done, the rhyming in this entry was outstanding!
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your supportive review. I appreciate your positive remarks. :)
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My pleasure.
Comment from Jay Squires
Geez! I like this poem. What you've done here with the short, stacato lines seem to beg an increasing lift in the voice until the end of the stanza. Then another, with the slow start and a build-up.
One could effectively argue that the build up only to begin again and slowly build... is the story of the character's life.
Great job!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Geez! I like this poem. What you've done here with the short, stacato lines seem to beg an increasing lift in the voice until the end of the stanza. Then another, with the slow start and a build-up.
One could effectively argue that the build up only to begin again and slowly build... is the story of the character's life.
Great job!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your intuitive review. I'm very glad that you could feel the pacing of the poem! I had a lot of fun writing it. :)
Comment from kiwijenny
This is adorable...the picture is perfect for it...Her hard work paid off this speaks to me .....well written I loved the last verse best......
Well written................................
God bless
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This is adorable...the picture is perfect for it...Her hard work paid off this speaks to me .....well written I loved the last verse best......
Well written................................
God bless
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your kind word. I appreciate your review!
Comment from c_lucas
My mother was nearing sixty when she took her first flight. After that, it was the only way to travel. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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My mother was nearing sixty when she took her first flight. After that, it was the only way to travel. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thanks for your review and contest wishes!
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You're welcome.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This lady has finally made her dream of traveling to a far away place a reality. A lesson in perserverence. An excellent story. :) nancy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This lady has finally made her dream of traveling to a far away place a reality. A lesson in perserverence. An excellent story. :) nancy
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your notes of review. Have a great day!
Comment from CR Delport
It is so sad that we have to wait our whole lives for something that sometimes never even come. This is very well done. Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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It is so sad that we have to wait our whole lives for something that sometimes never even come. This is very well done. Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reviewing my poem. Have a wonderful weekend!
Comment from TAB_that's me
After working hard all of your life it is nice to be able to enjoy doing the things you want to do. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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After working hard all of your life it is nice to be able to enjoy doing the things you want to do. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thanks for reviewing my contest entry, and for the good wishes.
Comment from Louise Michelle
This is just delightful. You have illustrated how hard work, perseverance and proper handling of money can pay off in time. Plus you explored this with great rhythm and rhymes which made for a fast pace, enjoyable read. Lou
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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This is just delightful. You have illustrated how hard work, perseverance and proper handling of money can pay off in time. Plus you explored this with great rhythm and rhymes which made for a fast pace, enjoyable read. Lou
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your kind review and praise!
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with taxes/faxes...mail/sail...lot/sot...beans/means...soaring/roaring. Good description and alliteration. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with taxes/faxes...mail/sail...lot/sot...beans/means...soaring/roaring. Good description and alliteration. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thank your your flattering review. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A good human story well told in eight good stanzas. Rhyming is good. You tell us she is old and in need of a stick, yet she only worked 30 years - I think it should be longer - after 30 years working you can still be reasonably young LOL. Good picture that does portray an old lady - dressed as one. Good sympathetic story. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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A good human story well told in eight good stanzas. Rhyming is good. You tell us she is old and in need of a stick, yet she only worked 30 years - I think it should be longer - after 30 years working you can still be reasonably young LOL. Good picture that does portray an old lady - dressed as one. Good sympathetic story. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 11-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Dorothy. I appreciate your comments.
