Squirrel Talk
stories in my life27 total reviews
Comment from cynthia s
So, I admit, I've been reading your (excellent) stuff, but the squirrel. OMG, I love it. We just chased our little asshole out of the attic. Days and nights, running back and forth, the nest she built (in the attic) was incredible. I wonder if it was the same one that was in my daughters (20) room last summer. The damned thing ran round and round on top of the blinds, and would attempt to 'hide' in a huge pile of stuffed animals. Awesome.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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So, I admit, I've been reading your (excellent) stuff, but the squirrel. OMG, I love it. We just chased our little asshole out of the attic. Days and nights, running back and forth, the nest she built (in the attic) was incredible. I wonder if it was the same one that was in my daughters (20) room last summer. The damned thing ran round and round on top of the blinds, and would attempt to 'hide' in a huge pile of stuffed animals. Awesome.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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With all that diversion when, what, where do you think that squirrel conceived?
Comment from judiverse
I really loved this. You put your squirrel watching abilities to good use. Your descriptions of the mother squirrel chasing the errant children are so funny. Squirrels are great creatures to watch. We have several in our neighborhood, and they keep busy year 'round. Years ago, a squirrel made a habit of following me as I walked to school. A couple of years ago a squirrel stole some little flags a neighbor had put out the Fourth of July and carried them up to for a nest. I loved the disposition of the gingerbread houses for the squirrels' enjoyment. judi
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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I really loved this. You put your squirrel watching abilities to good use. Your descriptions of the mother squirrel chasing the errant children are so funny. Squirrels are great creatures to watch. We have several in our neighborhood, and they keep busy year 'round. Years ago, a squirrel made a habit of following me as I walked to school. A couple of years ago a squirrel stole some little flags a neighbor had put out the Fourth of July and carried them up to for a nest. I loved the disposition of the gingerbread houses for the squirrels' enjoyment. judi
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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They are clever little buggers. I found a pumpkin--grapefruit size--on a branch last year.
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They are great fun to watch, but have to be careful because they're always darting out into the street. judi
Comment from Loren (7)
No good deed goes without its just reward...the offering of the gingerbread. How poetically perfect : ) This is indeed hilarious and I've got the same "disdain" for moles that keep popping up in my yard to see what's what. Can't they just send one scout up and him report back to the lay of the land? Never mind, thank-you for the smile : )
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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No good deed goes without its just reward...the offering of the gingerbread. How poetically perfect : ) This is indeed hilarious and I've got the same "disdain" for moles that keep popping up in my yard to see what's what. Can't they just send one scout up and him report back to the lay of the land? Never mind, thank-you for the smile : )
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
my cats deal with moles--very effectively, but sadly they treat the squirrels like revered landlords. Thanks for the stars...they are so pretty.
Comment from closetpoetjester
I couldn't help but laugh here and think these are just the gosh darn cutest little critters ever. Along with raccoons (another damn apparent nuisance) I find the squirrel adorable, mischievous and downright f**king entertaining. I laughed many times during this bushy tale and it seems at least the nurturers of the group aren't that far removed from our own. Bloody kids running amok! So many moments in this were gold, but please know this is one of my favourite posts of yours so far. I DO understand the problem as we have our own share of delightful invaders here...mainly possums, the little shits (some aren't so little either) but I just find these little nut crackers the cutest of the lot. Care to parcel a couple up and send them over?? Better make it express post before the little bastards chew through the wrapping! LOL
This was brilliant and I'd award this THREE sixers! Alas, I don't even have one to toss out. Sorry mate.
Love P
x
PS I LOVE your homicidal tendancies...but I'm sure you'll work out how to co exist with these tiny varmants. I loved the Gingerbread offering too, although I'm convinced you've endowed them with a giant sugar fix and have given those little f**kers energy to burn. No squirrels may have died but I'm sure they'll be shitting out M&M's for the weeks to come.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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I couldn't help but laugh here and think these are just the gosh darn cutest little critters ever. Along with raccoons (another damn apparent nuisance) I find the squirrel adorable, mischievous and downright f**king entertaining. I laughed many times during this bushy tale and it seems at least the nurturers of the group aren't that far removed from our own. Bloody kids running amok! So many moments in this were gold, but please know this is one of my favourite posts of yours so far. I DO understand the problem as we have our own share of delightful invaders here...mainly possums, the little shits (some aren't so little either) but I just find these little nut crackers the cutest of the lot. Care to parcel a couple up and send them over?? Better make it express post before the little bastards chew through the wrapping! LOL
This was brilliant and I'd award this THREE sixers! Alas, I don't even have one to toss out. Sorry mate.
Love P
x
PS I LOVE your homicidal tendancies...but I'm sure you'll work out how to co exist with these tiny varmants. I loved the Gingerbread offering too, although I'm convinced you've endowed them with a giant sugar fix and have given those little f**kers energy to burn. No squirrels may have died but I'm sure they'll be shitting out M&M's for the weeks to come.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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One day I shall write about the about when I committed accidental homicide, killing a racoon that ran on the road. See--five years later and I still remember his death!
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OMG Accidental? How terrible.
I see your STILL feeling guilty! LOL
I'm sure in spite of the little critters being a right pest, you probably don't want to run the little f**kers down in cold blood! LOL
Comment from Ritsal
Very cute story of your backyard "kids." When I lived in Canada, we had large maple trees with lots of squirrels. Most of them were black with very fluffy tails. Now living in the South, we just get the occasional gray one and they do look like rats--tails aren't big and fluffy. Of course, we have a cat and a couple of dogs outside so I'm sure they keep them at bay.
Pay back time>>Payback
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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Very cute story of your backyard "kids." When I lived in Canada, we had large maple trees with lots of squirrels. Most of them were black with very fluffy tails. Now living in the South, we just get the occasional gray one and they do look like rats--tails aren't big and fluffy. Of course, we have a cat and a couple of dogs outside so I'm sure they keep them at bay.
Pay back time>>Payback
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014
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My two cats treat these buggers like esteemed landlords. Dogs, you say?
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Squeaky toys
Comment from Narvik
Oh, Ingrid, you can't fool us with a devious facade hiding your big heart.
Very visual story. I could envision the little bastards running around terrorizing you.
especially Henrietta at the end there.
I had a good chuckle about him not inviting you into his nest, and the free penicillin line, then the gingerbread house scheme got me laughing out loud.
I slippe dup on a couple of lines: "...the bloody squirrel calls himself that seems to like..." I'd consider switching the clauses.
Ditto here: "...memories playing in my head of my last birthday..." could maybe be "memories of my last birthday playing in my head."
I have trapped at lest 20 squirrels in my back yard and then deposited them to a nice park about a mile away. Sometimes I wonder if they find their way back and I merely recycle them.
Anyway, I needed a laugh today and you provided it and then some.
Hugs to my Canadian friend.
~ Erik
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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Oh, Ingrid, you can't fool us with a devious facade hiding your big heart.
Very visual story. I could envision the little bastards running around terrorizing you.
especially Henrietta at the end there.
I had a good chuckle about him not inviting you into his nest, and the free penicillin line, then the gingerbread house scheme got me laughing out loud.
I slippe dup on a couple of lines: "...the bloody squirrel calls himself that seems to like..." I'd consider switching the clauses.
Ditto here: "...memories playing in my head of my last birthday..." could maybe be "memories of my last birthday playing in my head."
I have trapped at lest 20 squirrels in my back yard and then deposited them to a nice park about a mile away. Sometimes I wonder if they find their way back and I merely recycle them.
Anyway, I needed a laugh today and you provided it and then some.
Hugs to my Canadian friend.
~ Erik
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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The information is clear, you're not a grounded trapper. Despite good intentions, the vermin will perish. Do apologise t the lives you claimed
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Comment from comanalbert
I understand what are you feeling . Like here in England ,I never seen in my life so many squirrels.They could be sometimes a really pain in the ass.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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I understand what are you feeling . Like here in England ,I never seen in my life so many squirrels.They could be sometimes a really pain in the ass.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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Be careful, they are the new Nazis.
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I will..Thanks!
Comment from jmdg1954
This is a great story. Squirrels and I don't get along either. Your best line... She reared up on her hind legs, threw her paws on her hips and glared at me. I swear she told me to F*** off. I could picture it clearly.
A quickie (story that is)... about five years ago I cut down a few pine trees in my back yard and there must have been a squirrels nest among them because the mother came jabbering her jaws towards me. I back peddled mighty quick. I didn't want to tangle with that b****.
Again, fun story and thanks for sharing. John
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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This is a great story. Squirrels and I don't get along either. Your best line... She reared up on her hind legs, threw her paws on her hips and glared at me. I swear she told me to F*** off. I could picture it clearly.
A quickie (story that is)... about five years ago I cut down a few pine trees in my back yard and there must have been a squirrels nest among them because the mother came jabbering her jaws towards me. I back peddled mighty quick. I didn't want to tangle with that b****.
Again, fun story and thanks for sharing. John
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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As
I've been told, even a cow is docile until cornered and then she will charge you. Think about your act of violence as it relates to the squirrel and likely you won't blame her aggression.
Comment from trimple
Clearly there was good reason for saving my last star. Your satirical humour comes through very naturally. You come across as British, quite different to the average American writer. I was on a train whilst reading this and almost pissed myself laughing reading your squirrel story. Love the subtlety.
A fab read. May want to consider in a couple places, the plural of squirrel
Kind regards trimple
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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Clearly there was good reason for saving my last star. Your satirical humour comes through very naturally. You come across as British, quite different to the average American writer. I was on a train whilst reading this and almost pissed myself laughing reading your squirrel story. Love the subtlety.
A fab read. May want to consider in a couple places, the plural of squirrel
Kind regards trimple
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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You are most kind, both with your stars and your words. I'm halfway between British and American--Canadian.
Comment from Louise Michelle
I love your sense of humor! This is so well written, with perfect description to make me feel I'm right there with you. And, of course, your tongue-in-cheek dialogue cracked me up. Umm...your tongue was in your cheek, wasn't it, hee hee. Lou
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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I love your sense of humor! This is so well written, with perfect description to make me feel I'm right there with you. And, of course, your tongue-in-cheek dialogue cracked me up. Umm...your tongue was in your cheek, wasn't it, hee hee. Lou
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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Well I don't have the heart to undervalue the lives of rodents, so I suppose, I'm making fun of my life, but they really, really, bother me.
