Put Into Words
Naani23 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
Aa beautiful Naani with proper syllable count and an unmeetable challenge. I love challenges but know without trying I could not adequately put into words the indefinable, or the joy of young children, or angel's tears. I do, however, think it was incredibly clever of you to write a poem about this. What a pleasure to read it. MM
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
  |
Aa beautiful Naani with proper syllable count and an unmeetable challenge. I love challenges but know without trying I could not adequately put into words the indefinable, or the joy of young children, or angel's tears. I do, however, think it was incredibly clever of you to write a poem about this. What a pleasure to read it. MM
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Adonna.
I have no idea what this form is all about, but I thought I would give it a shot anyway - not really expecting good news from the judges for this.
PS I have got hold of a copy of Writers' Market and I'm trying to find enough time to pick out a few suitable publishers and/or magazines etc to submit my work to.
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve, I would have to tend to lean on the fact that to me it would be the joy of young children being that angels or Seraphim's are emotionless and probably wouldn't have a tear.
I really enjoyed how well you your resourcefulness, creativeness and inventiveness in writing this piece. Thank you for posting and sharing and made the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
 |
Steve, I would have to tend to lean on the fact that to me it would be the joy of young children being that angels or Seraphim's are emotionless and probably wouldn't have a tear.
I really enjoyed how well you your resourcefulness, creativeness and inventiveness in writing this piece. Thank you for posting and sharing and made the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Alex.
Steve
Comment from rama devi
Lovely naani, true to form and nicely presented, Steve.
It flows well except for the lack of smooth enjambement between lines two and three, which is made choppy just because of the second THE:
the indefinable
the joy of young children
I recommend to possible remedies:
1) trim THE:
just put into words
the indefinable
joy of young children
or an angel's tears
2) use a dash:
just put into words
the indefinable--
the joy of young children
or an angel's tears
I like how the poem, in a few short lines, has the juxtaposition of the child's joy and the angel's tears. Good poetic contrast and counterpoint--united on the common ground of being indefinable.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
Lovely naani, true to form and nicely presented, Steve.
It flows well except for the lack of smooth enjambement between lines two and three, which is made choppy just because of the second THE:
the indefinable
the joy of young children
I recommend to possible remedies:
1) trim THE:
just put into words
the indefinable
joy of young children
or an angel's tears
2) use a dash:
just put into words
the indefinable--
the joy of young children
or an angel's tears
I like how the poem, in a few short lines, has the juxtaposition of the child's joy and the angel's tears. Good poetic contrast and counterpoint--united on the common ground of being indefinable.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, RD
Steve
-
:-)
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Mmm, this one resonated with me. I love the examples used, and how beautifully you've composed the poem.
Very nice, Steve. I wish you well in the contest.
Av
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
Mmm, this one resonated with me. I love the examples used, and how beautifully you've composed the poem.
Very nice, Steve. I wish you well in the contest.
Av
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Av
No idea what I'm doing with this form - does anyone? Only a rank outsider for this contest I believe...
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
That's the task of poets, is it? To put words to the ineffable. It's a worthy purpose since many of us miss it altogether. Well done, and good luck in the contest Steve.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
That's the task of poets, is it? To put words to the ineffable. It's a worthy purpose since many of us miss it altogether. Well done, and good luck in the contest Steve.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Steve,
A very different premise for a write, looking at opposite sides of the spectrum, at both "joy" and "tears".
As poets we try to convey certain things with our words, yet, as you have aptly conveyed in your naani, some things are "indefinable", or at the very least, difficult to put into words. How does one describe the joy of a young child? There is nothing quite like it. And, of course, no one has seen an angel's tears, so how would that be described?
I thought it was an interesting approach that you took with this write, and though your words didn't define or describe, they did provoke thought, and your message was clear to your readers.
Use of the word "just" is effective. It almost teases the reader to stop, think, and try and define (almost like 'I dare you to'). :)
Best wishes for the contest!
Connie
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
Steve,
A very different premise for a write, looking at opposite sides of the spectrum, at both "joy" and "tears".
As poets we try to convey certain things with our words, yet, as you have aptly conveyed in your naani, some things are "indefinable", or at the very least, difficult to put into words. How does one describe the joy of a young child? There is nothing quite like it. And, of course, no one has seen an angel's tears, so how would that be described?
I thought it was an interesting approach that you took with this write, and though your words didn't define or describe, they did provoke thought, and your message was clear to your readers.
Use of the word "just" is effective. It almost teases the reader to stop, think, and try and define (almost like 'I dare you to'). :)
Best wishes for the contest!
Connie
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Connie.
No idea what I'm doing with this form - does anyone? Only a rank outsider for this contest I believe...
Steve
Comment from linsbm
Perfect syllable count within the structure of a Naani poem. The words can be as simple as used yet the thoughts expressed called for universal understanding. Excellent piece. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
Perfect syllable count within the structure of a Naani poem. The words can be as simple as used yet the thoughts expressed called for universal understanding. Excellent piece. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
The novelist seeks words; some times harsh and brutal. The poet mellows his words which comes from his heart. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
The novelist seeks words; some times harsh and brutal. The poet mellows his words which comes from his heart. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Charlie.
No idea what I'm doing with this form - does anyone? Only a rank outsider for this contest I believe...
Steve
-
You're welcome. Steve.
Comment from Jackarrie
just put into words
the indefinable
the joy of young children
or an angel's tears
A question of putting these into words, I could put the joy of young children, but not the indefinable. or an angel's tears
a great image to go with your naani, good luck Mary
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
just put into words
the indefinable
the joy of young children
or an angel's tears
A question of putting these into words, I could put the joy of young children, but not the indefinable. or an angel's tears
a great image to go with your naani, good luck Mary
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Mary.
Steve
Comment from judester
Great naani, from one extreme to another, joy and tears. The illustration is perfect and adds a poignantcy to your words.Good luck with the contest, cheers Judester
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
|
Great naani, from one extreme to another, joy and tears. The illustration is perfect and adds a poignantcy to your words.Good luck with the contest, cheers Judester
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
-
Thanks, Jude
Steve
