Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Exceptional

Absolutely the cats meow. this is the best i have read in weeks. flow was perfect and the attention was directly on this from start to finish.Again the internal rhymes are the best and I love the way they give it that break in the sing/song way of reading. I know what I mean , I hope you do.lol Greed robs the mind...oh boy did you every get that one right

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014

The best in weeks? You don't get to read much, do you Barb, lol.

In all seriousness, I really do appreciate that you feel that way, Barb, and I am very grateful to you for such a wonderful review and generous rating, my friend.

Comment from Dom G Robles

Exceptional

Oh, this is a great poem. Excellent in all its contents, trimmings and illustrations. It is one of the best, I read
since a few months ago. What makes me feel great and noble is not only the poem itself, but also the moving pictures with the serpents in the unfriendly seas.They make the imaginations clearer. A ship battered by a storm ready to go down underneath with the dreaded serpents ready to do their greedy chores, is something that captivated me. The pictures, are indeed, marvelous. They, just like the poem
are worthy of praise and commendation. My sincere congratulations for sharing. Dom.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014

Thanks for such a complimentary review and generous rating of this one, Dom. You've got me blushing here, lol!

Seriously, I'm very grateful you took the time to read it, and that you were entertained. That's always my primary goal.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

Great presentation Dean with this one. Love the rhyme within the line and then the ending rhyme as well, well done on that and you still manage to tell a great tale with a moral at the end. Fabulous.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014

Thank you, Pearl, I truly appreciate that! I'm glad you liked the story behind the poem. I feel that's always important.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hello Dean, my friend,

Fabulous presentation, as always. ( And I am so grateful that the font is bigger!)

Wonderful internal rhyme. Love the 'gothic' Victorian, seafaring feel to this poem ... Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner-ish.

Shiver me timbers and blast me eye path off!

Well done, sir!

Sonali

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2014

Hah, ha, shiver me timbers indeed , Reach! I'm really happy you like this, and you're about the fourth one to mention Samuel Taylor Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Unfortunately, i have not read it, but I will!

Thanks again.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Stunning presentation of your poem
solid use of rhyming couplets with excellent internal rhyming, too
also, good proximate rhyming in pairs like grasp/last
good alliteration in phrases like sorrows stir and dictate devotions
an emotionally-charged, dramatic cautionary tale
Brooke

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

Thanks, Brooke, I'm really glad you liked it. I've been chastised by a few for the poor meter of it, but I can't for the life of me figure out exactly what they're referring to. Perhaps, time allowed, you can enlighten me?

Thanks again, my dear friend!

reply by adewpearl on 10-Apr-2014

Meter is a major part of my course - we learn the various meters and how to make them work out :-)

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

You got it. If I have good meter, I'll be unstoppable (yeah... right, heh heh!)

8>}

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

I couldn't agree with you more. I believe that's why most of us are referred to as starving artists. So glad hubby can take care of me, and I can just write.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

I'm glad for you too, Linda! that's a big plus, and that he supports your writing, of course, which I'm sure he does.

reply by lindalcreel on 10-Apr-2014

Fantasy isn't really his cup of tea, but he does sit and listen. Even sometimes helps with the editing. LOL

Comment from JM daSilva

Exceptional

Great poem that made me think of Moby-Dick and many adventures. It's always a pleasure to read your poems. You deserve six stars.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

Hi, JM! It's so great to see you drop in from time to time. I'll bet you've been exceptionally busy of late, my friend.

Thanks you for your very complimentary review of this one, it boosts my morale a quite bit. It just received a four star rating because the reader felt I did not use enough sea faring dialect and phraseology in it. I don't believe my characters spoke too much in the poem at all, but, so be it, que sera, sera.

reply by JM daSilva on 10-Apr-2014

Que sera, sera. I wish I could drop by more, but you know, I am busy. Great poem.

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

I know you are, and I certainly do appreciate you looking in on me, JM.

reply by JM daSilva on 11-Apr-2014

Great.

Comment from DALLAS01

Exceptional

Okay, I'm sea sick. Monsters and the raging sea, a great metaphor for getting lost in the pursuit of whatever the object of our greed is; be it monetary, glory, or power.
A six star production here. I was intrigued not only by the visual, but by the perfect inner line rhyme.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

Thanks, DALLAS, and you picked up on my metaphor precisely, as it pertains to the raging seas. Thanks so much for such a splendid review!

reply by DALLAS01 on 10-Apr-2014

:.)

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello Dean
you amaze me more each time I read a poem of your.
I felt the terror of the monster of the deep until the bitter end-

don't let oceans dictate devotions, nor drown your brightest features

Gert

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

Thanks so much, Gert. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one!

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

A nicely written poem, Dean. Two minor punctuation errors stand out:

onto jagged rocks, - omit comma

Living out his days; - replace semi-colon with comma (introductory phrase, not an independent sentence)

Can't say I agree with your conclusion - journalists, magazine article writers, reviewers, catalog writers, grant writers, script writers, word puzzle writers, ad writers, etc. all write for money. Writing for artistic, inspirational or informative reasons alone is the privilege of the wealthy or gainfully employed. Their work may or may not be artistic, but they are not hobbiests. Paying the bills is their motivation, and that's not a thing to be sneered at. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014

Thanks, Nancy, and I will take care of those punctuational error ASAP. As for the message, I'm speaking more from a fictional viewpoint. When we begin to write, we shouldn't be thinking, "Oh, boy, if I get good at writing, I can make a bunch of money!" It should be because we love to do it, because it is our passion and what drives us. Our motivating factor should be the pure love of writing, not the potential cash we can possibly earn. It doesn't matter if we are writing technical or medical journals, we still need to love the craft. So, let's just say that we agree to disagree there.

Author Stephen King said it best, in his sensational book, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, and I quote verbatim:


"Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy. Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free, so drink -- drink and be filled up!" -- Author Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

If that theory is good enough for Mr. King, it's certainly good enough for me.