When The Wind Blows (Haiku)
Life is full of challenges (illwinds)4 total reviews
Comment from Willowsong
There is a poignant message hidden here though difficult to retrieve. The font color blends a bit too well for legibility and the last line has an extra syllable for a 5-7-5 (set-tles). Perhaps a few adjustments and the addition of a complimentary image and this will make a great entry. Good luck!
reply by the author on 17-May-2014
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There is a poignant message hidden here though difficult to retrieve. The font color blends a bit too well for legibility and the last line has an extra syllable for a 5-7-5 (set-tles). Perhaps a few adjustments and the addition of a complimentary image and this will make a great entry. Good luck!
Comment Written 16-May-2014
reply by the author on 17-May-2014
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Thanks
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You're welcome :-)
Comment from DR DIP
WOW! What an amazing poems you've written heres Obi Wan!
I am but a mere butterflies in a cocoon of infatuitive love. May I be bold to ask what is your language of origin?
With respect, but as much as it is written in thev parameters and syllabic count of a haiku i still think the rules of english grammar should be followed as other reviewres have mentioned the understanding of singular and plural grammmatical combinations still hold true in poetry.
please .do not be offended by my appraisal as i always try to be honest plus i have no other reference to your works to give me any guidance to you ability as a wordsmith and poet please try and conrtibute a few more for better assessments of your works
with respect Dip
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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WOW! What an amazing poems you've written heres Obi Wan!
I am but a mere butterflies in a cocoon of infatuitive love. May I be bold to ask what is your language of origin?
With respect, but as much as it is written in thev parameters and syllabic count of a haiku i still think the rules of english grammar should be followed as other reviewres have mentioned the understanding of singular and plural grammmatical combinations still hold true in poetry.
please .do not be offended by my appraisal as i always try to be honest plus i have no other reference to your works to give me any guidance to you ability as a wordsmith and poet please try and conrtibute a few more for better assessments of your works
with respect Dip
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Thank you friend DR...for the review...I hope to post other poems soon on the site...I feel humbled by your interest to read from me...with love..Dinobi
Comment from Starpoet9
This does follow the rules of the poem form , I just question "The particles gather and steam" I am certainly not an expert. But the plural don't seem to flow as well as well as the singular. The poem itself lends a lot of giving the whole illustration as well as the comparison of winds.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2014
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This does follow the rules of the poem form , I just question "The particles gather and steam" I am certainly not an expert. But the plural don't seem to flow as well as well as the singular. The poem itself lends a lot of giving the whole illustration as well as the comparison of winds.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2014
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Dear reader, you seem to forget the fact that we are not writing an English essay contest...but a poetry with a special feature of 17 syllables (haiku)..the alliteration...s..s..s in the particules..gathers..steams..has a special input to drive home the message of the poem...which is hidden to non-haiku lovers but.. an ice in the cake for lovers of haiku..All the same, thanks for your nearly fair criticism.
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I love haiku. It was not meant in negative. As a reader. this is how I interpreted. I think you wrote a good haiku. I have written them myself. I didn't mean to offend you.
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Thanks for the response..
Comment from AnncFl
Hi, dear Poet! Interesting philosophy. But the poem should clearly state it and not need to be explained. Also Gentle reminder. watch your grammar .... Nouns and verbs need to agree on singular or plural. It should be particles gather or particle gathers. Press on!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2014
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Hi, dear Poet! Interesting philosophy. But the poem should clearly state it and not need to be explained. Also Gentle reminder. watch your grammar .... Nouns and verbs need to agree on singular or plural. It should be particles gather or particle gathers. Press on!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2014
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Hi, dear reader, you seem to miss the mark a bit, this prompt is a haiku:5-7-5. It is usually a 3 lines poem pregnant with great meanings. Also, the issue of nouns agreeing with singular verb or plural does not apply. i can decide to write in my dialet..it is simply poetry..All the same, thank for your comment.
