The Becoming
A lycanthropic love story...sort of.33 total reviews
Comment from perpetualwallflower
This is awesome! I've always loved werewolves and werewolf stories and this is top notch! I love the descriptions of everything and the vivd imagery I received because of it. Greats rock, good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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This is awesome! I've always loved werewolves and werewolf stories and this is top notch! I love the descriptions of everything and the vivd imagery I received because of it. Greats rock, good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much for your kind comments about this story, perpetualwallflower. I'm really happy that you liked it!
Comment from c_lucas
In order to learn about the human body, pre-twentieth doctors us to pay for cadavers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
ERROR:
doggie somethin' to much (Munch) on,
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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In order to learn about the human body, pre-twentieth doctors us to pay for cadavers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
ERROR:
doggie somethin' to much (Munch) on,
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Charlie, and I'll take care of that error straight away!
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You're are welcome.
Comment from NicciFaye
I am soooooooooooo glad I didn't enter into this contest becasue I would've LOST!!! LOL This is just absolutely suberp!..You did an excellent job Dean. Truly. Your style is just amazing.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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I am soooooooooooo glad I didn't enter into this contest becasue I would've LOST!!! LOL This is just absolutely suberp!..You did an excellent job Dean. Truly. Your style is just amazing.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Nicci, but how did you know it was me? Was it the pictures? I often add pictures to break up the monotony for the readers a bit. Like sort of a graphic novel type feel.
I'm glad you liked it, however, and I appreciate your generous review and rating.
You also sell yourself too short, Nicci. I think you'd do just fine in anything you happened to enter.
Thanks again!
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LOL...I know your work DEAN! That is what a real fan is all about..you get to learn the person you admire in whatever genre it is..thank you so much.
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Yeah, it gets me in trouble at times too, especially when entering prompts. Some people won't vote for me no matter how good or bad the writing is. Que sera, sera...
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Dean...those are what you call HATERS!!! Maybe that should be my next poem in my collection called "Thinking Out Loud"..
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It should, you should write one about it, Nicci, because it's really sad that people feel so compelled to be so mean. I will never do that to someone, I'll mute them first, lol.
Comment from boxergirl
Great job with this Werewolf writing prompt. It has all the ingredients and full of suspense and spine-tingling terror. Best of luck in the contest. It gets my vote for sure! 8-)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Great job with this Werewolf writing prompt. It has all the ingredients and full of suspense and spine-tingling terror. Best of luck in the contest. It gets my vote for sure! 8-)
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, boxergirl, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it, and found it entertaining. That was my purpose, to hopefully entertain anyone who cared enough to read it.
I really appreciate your support and complimentary review.
Comment from bluedragon776
This was very enjoyable and well written.
Noticed this though: is this word supposed to be more instead of much?
-- but much quickly,
What is a kiln? I looked it up and the definition I got was a kind of oven.
That last picture is freaky as hell!! Reminds me of gollum from LOTR.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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This was very enjoyable and well written.
Noticed this though: is this word supposed to be more instead of much?
-- but much quickly,
What is a kiln? I looked it up and the definition I got was a kind of oven.
That last picture is freaky as hell!! Reminds me of gollum from LOTR.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks for really getting into this and reading so carefully, bluedragon 776. I'll look into those things you questioned once the contest is over. I really appreciate such detailed feedback.
Comment from michaelcahill
I suppose the true horror story is that people could read all of the entries and not vote for this!! Entertaining and excellent writing. A wonderful presentation. I will watch the vote and plot the untimely demise of those that refuse to see the light! Awesome work. mikey
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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I suppose the true horror story is that people could read all of the entries and not vote for this!! Entertaining and excellent writing. A wonderful presentation. I will watch the vote and plot the untimely demise of those that refuse to see the light! Awesome work. mikey
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Mikey, I'm very pleased that you felt that way at least, lol!
In all seriousness, I thank you for such a complimentary review, and your most generous gift of five stars. Much obliged.
Comment from sibhus
Wow, wonderful sense of creepines to your writng, although at times you might have backed off on adjetives, and made the descriptions simpler and blunt, but then that's just my thoughts. You did a great job of creating a short piece that has a spine-tingleing sense to it. Good story, and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Wow, wonderful sense of creepines to your writng, although at times you might have backed off on adjetives, and made the descriptions simpler and blunt, but then that's just my thoughts. You did a great job of creating a short piece that has a spine-tingleing sense to it. Good story, and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks very much, sibhus. I really do appreciate your thoughts and feedback. Thanks for the generous rating as well!
Comment from Adri7enne
"Hunched slightly, an appearance...THEIR human frame...ITS human frame..." Since you say it was "a lone figure", stay with the singular pronoun.
"A crackling noise...everywhere in THEIR anatomy. ITS
"Dropping to IT'S knees...ITS
"It was the next of IT'S keen senses..." ITS - no apostrophe with a pronoun, unless it's an abbreviation of 'it is". You should correct the many other errors of this kind.
"The thick coarse hairs across the BEASTS broad back..." BEAST'S
"The craggy trail WINDED around ...WOUND around..."
You have to be careful of these kinds of editing errors if you ever intend to submit. While you're good at presentation and choosing interesting artwork to help your piece along, good writing cannot be fudged in real life.
I suggest you give it a good read. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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"Hunched slightly, an appearance...THEIR human frame...ITS human frame..." Since you say it was "a lone figure", stay with the singular pronoun.
"A crackling noise...everywhere in THEIR anatomy. ITS
"Dropping to IT'S knees...ITS
"It was the next of IT'S keen senses..." ITS - no apostrophe with a pronoun, unless it's an abbreviation of 'it is". You should correct the many other errors of this kind.
"The thick coarse hairs across the BEASTS broad back..." BEAST'S
"The craggy trail WINDED around ...WOUND around..."
You have to be careful of these kinds of editing errors if you ever intend to submit. While you're good at presentation and choosing interesting artwork to help your piece along, good writing cannot be fudged in real life.
I suggest you give it a good read. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks, done, and done. All errors corrected.
I did edit it, about fifty times, but obviously I'm no editor. I do always try to give it my best shot, however. I don't like putting garbled garbage, much like you obviously felt this was, out there for anyone to read. I don't even like reading it myself.
I always have someone, usually my teenage daughter, read my story aloud. Unfortunately, when someone is reading it to you, "it's" and "its" sounds remarkably similar.
Again, I've made the edits.
Comment from JB Lynn
I certainly enjoyed reading this, but I'm not sure that I'm going to enjoy the nightmares I'm sure are to come as a result! This was perfectly horrifying! I had a suspicion early on that the dead Sybil might already be "claimed" by the werewolf. How refreshing to read a werewolf story where the beasts aren't portrayed as tame and romanticized. I couldn't take my eyes away while reading this. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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I certainly enjoyed reading this, but I'm not sure that I'm going to enjoy the nightmares I'm sure are to come as a result! This was perfectly horrifying! I had a suspicion early on that the dead Sybil might already be "claimed" by the werewolf. How refreshing to read a werewolf story where the beasts aren't portrayed as tame and romanticized. I couldn't take my eyes away while reading this. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks, JB Lynn, i appreciate the kind comments and excellent feedback. I've never been a fan of romanticized werewolf or vampire tales like the Twilight series. To me, it's a bastardization of everything the original stories were intended to be. Again, thanks very much for reading.
Comment from Zue65
Well, I am not really a werewolves fan and I am not horror freak, too. I prefer romance stories, science and adventure or the Sherlock Holmes mystery files. But your horror and thriller fiction is worth reading, progressing perfectly from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Well, I am not really a werewolves fan and I am not horror freak, too. I prefer romance stories, science and adventure or the Sherlock Holmes mystery files. But your horror and thriller fiction is worth reading, progressing perfectly from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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Thanks, nassus1957. I appreciate your candor and your feedback. I appreciate all forms of literature, from satire to scientific -- and everything in between. I have garnered something from reading all of it. I'm very grateful for your kind comments and generous rating.
