You have a friend
a slightly modified Octogram163 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
perfect 8-4-8-4-8-8-8-4 syllable in each stanza
Line two is repeated as line eight in the first stanza and though modified is repeated as line eight in the second stanza
Excellent rhymes in first stanza abab ccbb
second stanza abab ddbb
Love the positive message and promise here and your poem is complimented well by Sawyer
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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perfect 8-4-8-4-8-8-8-4 syllable in each stanza
Line two is repeated as line eight in the first stanza and though modified is repeated as line eight in the second stanza
Excellent rhymes in first stanza abab ccbb
second stanza abab ddbb
Love the positive message and promise here and your poem is complimented well by Sawyer
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, emrpoems :-) Brooke
Comment from Gungalo
There's nothing I won't try to do
to keep a frown away from you.
On this you always can depend --
You have a friend.
What a totally awesome picture this is Brooke! As for the write, it's awesome too. Of course he can depend on you. Sigh.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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There's nothing I won't try to do
to keep a frown away from you.
On this you always can depend --
You have a friend.
What a totally awesome picture this is Brooke! As for the write, it's awesome too. Of course he can depend on you. Sigh.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Gungalo, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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Smiling at you Brooke.
Comment from Ben Colder
Looks as if he can look right past you and see the day completed. Well done Brooke. Sawyer we done it again. Blessing to all.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Looks as if he can look right past you and see the day completed. Well done Brooke. Sawyer we done it again. Blessing to all.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Ben :-) Brooke
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You are more than welcome.
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
I wanted to give this six stars but I'm out of six so here's some virtual stars for you for this tender, sweet, heartfelt poem ******! The picture symbolizes a child with his best friend for comfort in life, his blanket! Thus this photo is perfectly chosen to enhance the message behind the poem that one always needs to have someone or something they can rely on in life. I love all the examples of how a friend can make your life better by being there when you need them the most. The line about losing a balloon to the breeze I feel all of us can relate to. This poem flows exquisitely with the writer incorporating the line "I'll be your friend" in different ways by changing a word or two. This really diverts the reader's attention to this line making it impact intensely and resulting in unifying the poem as a cohesive unit. Excellent use of alliteration in bright/balloon, cloud/conceal, light/lend, and songs/slip. The meter is consistent in this modified octogram, with a rhythmic rhyme scheme woven from beginning to end. The construction of the poem ending with the line "You have a friend" helps the poem's theme resonate with the reader. The tone of this poem is one of reassurance, friendship, and comfort. An overall well written piece of poetry!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I wanted to give this six stars but I'm out of six so here's some virtual stars for you for this tender, sweet, heartfelt poem ******! The picture symbolizes a child with his best friend for comfort in life, his blanket! Thus this photo is perfectly chosen to enhance the message behind the poem that one always needs to have someone or something they can rely on in life. I love all the examples of how a friend can make your life better by being there when you need them the most. The line about losing a balloon to the breeze I feel all of us can relate to. This poem flows exquisitely with the writer incorporating the line "I'll be your friend" in different ways by changing a word or two. This really diverts the reader's attention to this line making it impact intensely and resulting in unifying the poem as a cohesive unit. Excellent use of alliteration in bright/balloon, cloud/conceal, light/lend, and songs/slip. The meter is consistent in this modified octogram, with a rhythmic rhyme scheme woven from beginning to end. The construction of the poem ending with the line "You have a friend" helps the poem's theme resonate with the reader. The tone of this poem is one of reassurance, friendship, and comfort. An overall well written piece of poetry!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thanks so very much, Rainbows, for your attentive and encouraging response to this poem :-) Brooke
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You are most welcome! It had such a positive upbeat tone! :-)
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Brooke - I enjoyed this one - valued friend is always a key in happiness. I loved the way you crafted this one...it just made me feel better as if reading it made the sun shine a little brighter. Great pic of an exhausted Cutie Pie.
Skillfully weaved as always - I loved this one.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Dear Brooke - I enjoyed this one - valued friend is always a key in happiness. I loved the way you crafted this one...it just made me feel better as if reading it made the sun shine a little brighter. Great pic of an exhausted Cutie Pie.
Skillfully weaved as always - I loved this one.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Maureen, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with breezes/bright/balloon...cloud/conceal...light/lend...for/friend...songs/slip...out/of...try/to...frown/from. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Good end rhyming. Good alliteration with breezes/bright/balloon...cloud/conceal...light/lend...for/friend...songs/slip...out/of...try/to...frown/from. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Righteous Riter, thank you so very much for your generous review :-) Brooke
Comment from James Dooney
Once again Brooke, you have done well here with this one. I like how you pick the most basic of instinctual topics and you color it up nicely. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Once again Brooke, you have done well here with this one. I like how you pick the most basic of instinctual topics and you color it up nicely. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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James, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Saucey
This piece definitely grabs your heart, the pic is so cute I love every pic of your grandson, great flow with rhythmic flare this is an exceptional well written gem Brooke,
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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This piece definitely grabs your heart, the pic is so cute I love every pic of your grandson, great flow with rhythmic flare this is an exceptional well written gem Brooke,
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Saucey, thank you so much for your encouraging and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
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Your welcome Brooke.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
That really IS a precious photo! I love the form of this poem. I'm not sure what an octogram is, but however this is modified, it works beautifully. Great message for kids, too, to know they are never alone. :)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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That really IS a precious photo! I love the form of this poem. I'm not sure what an octogram is, but however this is modified, it works beautifully. Great message for kids, too, to know they are never alone. :)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, Phyllis. The modification is that my refrain lines are not totally identical :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
Absolutely lovely. The words convey the true love you have for this beautiful child. There is nothing you would not do to make him smile. I enjoyed this one very much and the photograph is so precious.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Absolutely lovely. The words convey the true love you have for this beautiful child. There is nothing you would not do to make him smile. I enjoyed this one very much and the photograph is so precious.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much, Valerie :-) Brooke
