Finding Daisy
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Terri"Another Ess and Oz comic fantasy
3 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
I loved your descriptions of the reception area and the receptionist who's really "hooked" up. Fun! Makes me wish I had that kind of style! LOL!
Love how you describe Daisy through Terri's descriptions. I can't wait to meet her.
It's obviously not going to be easy to track Daisy down. The world is her oyster. Sounds fun.
You're so good, snod. You maintain that smooth, easy flow all the way through. Sometimes I can do that for a couple of paragraphs, but you can do it through entire chapters. Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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I loved your descriptions of the reception area and the receptionist who's really "hooked" up. Fun! Makes me wish I had that kind of style! LOL!
Love how you describe Daisy through Terri's descriptions. I can't wait to meet her.
It's obviously not going to be easy to track Daisy down. The world is her oyster. Sounds fun.
You're so good, snod. You maintain that smooth, easy flow all the way through. Sometimes I can do that for a couple of paragraphs, but you can do it through entire chapters. Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014
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You're very kind. Yes, the world is her oyster, though how much of the world does a pearl see?
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Loved this chapter. Plenty of humor. The lengthy, "Terri laughed . . ." paragraph; very politically incorrect, but terribly funny.
This chapter actually described Daisy's flakiness very well. I feel I have a better understanding of Daisy's personality after reading this chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Loved this chapter. Plenty of humor. The lengthy, "Terri laughed . . ." paragraph; very politically incorrect, but terribly funny.
This chapter actually described Daisy's flakiness very well. I feel I have a better understanding of Daisy's personality after reading this chapter.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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You're very kind, thank you. I think this is the first time I've been described as politically incorrect. Oh, I crack myself up sometimes. Glad you liked it.
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I find it hard to believe this is the first time you've been called politically incorrect! Nice try, though. :D
Comment from aagalloway
I enjoyed it, I want to know where Daisy is! My only suggestions would be 1. To break up the long speech by Terri by including some detail of her movements or such, and 2. I couldn't guess at what Terri's accent was. She used the word 'lass' which suggests Northern then the word 'Sister' which didn't seem the same dialect to me. Otherwise the speech was excellent, very natural. I would like to read more.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I enjoyed it, I want to know where Daisy is! My only suggestions would be 1. To break up the long speech by Terri by including some detail of her movements or such, and 2. I couldn't guess at what Terri's accent was. She used the word 'lass' which suggests Northern then the word 'Sister' which didn't seem the same dialect to me. Otherwise the speech was excellent, very natural. I would like to read more.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Welcome, sister Kent lass. ;) I must admit, I wasn't thinking of an accent, and I use 'lass' often, either as a term of affection or to wind my feminist daughter up. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it. I'll look at her speech again when I'm sober.
Comment from lancellot
Very well written. At first I was too sure about the was the receptionist and the other perfect women acted, and why that was important, but you provided a great deal on context from the agent's conversation. Well done.
notes:
"Oh, no thank you. Go through?"
should this be:
"Oh, no thank you."
"Go through."
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Very well written. At first I was too sure about the was the receptionist and the other perfect women acted, and why that was important, but you provided a great deal on context from the agent's conversation. Well done.
notes:
"Oh, no thank you. Go through?"
should this be:
"Oh, no thank you."
"Go through."
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thanks for the review. No, Ess was confirming whether she should go through, as she was unsure who she was talking to, but I'll look at that passage again.
