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Yosemite

Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "How's The Weather?"
Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.

16 total reviews 
Comment from ragamuffin
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The whole problem with "us" is that it creates another unfortunate group of people called, "them".

That line of yours is really stood out to me. You'd think under such dire situations the people left would ban together for survival, but no. There's still an "us" and "them," and "them" needs to be "dealt with," Mankind's arrogance, selfishness, and desire for power just seems to know no end. A very thought provoking story for sure.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

Comment from Nosha17
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You're doing a great job under all the pressure. This was a good decisive chapter which hints as to which way things will go from now on. Considering the circumstances, your characters are holding up well under the strain. It will be interesting, sorry I am not of much help. Faye

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

Comment from ProjectBluebook
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A convoy of ships is coming, run for the hills Mikey! LOL! It's amazing what you can do with a pen, you can get yourself out of any predicament as long as you got a brain and you got one. This looks shipshape as usual. Looks uniform. I just realized, you already got 41 chapters. Although when publishing this would be short. Well, Sunday is here,are you going to church? I will ask Jesus for forgiveness for roasting you Mikey. LOL You can do the same. I bet you are thinking of your story when your sitting in the pews. (humor) I love star day!!!!! I gave you one star, waiting to see what is coming, I will save you another, trying to spread them out. Later Lion King wackydo

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
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Shedding more and more light on the state of the world. This is ubfolding ina logical way. Being stranded in a small part of the world makes it difficult for the people there to understand that they happen to be in perhaps a very rare situation. Thr discussion is excellent and true to the charachter's forms. Johnny appears to be considering a movr using Christinr's unique talents.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

Comment from nor84
Good
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Everything they have left, is >>>comma not needed. Separates subject (everything) from verb (is)
She look (looked) surprised; I

She blushed as she felt eyes slowly rise up, to politely make eye contact with hers. >>>comma not needed

It's eighty degrees here were (where)it should

giant-ass needs a hyphen. Compound adjective.

He looked somber as he spoke, "our (Our)>>>don't be afraid of 'said'. It's invisible to the read, whereas 'spoke' stands out.

what the people that are in charge, tell you. >>>comma not needed

They, are in charge >>>comma not needed. Separates subject (they) from verb (are)

Hope this helps.



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 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

Comment from Sankey
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Another good chapter mate. Complex as is your usual style hehe but good. Been thinking about all those ships I had put them altogether and created a Noah's Ark out of em hehe.
One spag surprise surprise

The(y) may not even

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 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014