A Scream Beyond the Darkness
Things aren't always what they seem to be...72 total reviews
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the abab and the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with night/sight...pace/face...call/wall. Good description that paints a clear picture. Good thought provoking message that holds my attention for start to finish. Good work my brother.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Good use of the abab and the abcb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with night/sight...pace/face...call/wall. Good description that paints a clear picture. Good thought provoking message that holds my attention for start to finish. Good work my brother.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, Righteous Riter. I'm very happy you liked this one, and I sincerely appreciate your generous rating and kind comments.
Comment from manicblue
You did a great job building the tension of the night from feeling safe on the farm to the angst of the sad barn owl as you approached it with trepidation. I love the dark and this didn't disappoint in giving me cold chills (stanza 7 especially). Great alliteration of the letter "s" in stanza 7 as well. Nicely penned.
Lucretia
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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You did a great job building the tension of the night from feeling safe on the farm to the angst of the sad barn owl as you approached it with trepidation. I love the dark and this didn't disappoint in giving me cold chills (stanza 7 especially). Great alliteration of the letter "s" in stanza 7 as well. Nicely penned.
Lucretia
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, Lucretia. I'm really glad you liked it, and I appreciate your kind and generous review.
Comment from L.A.Matthies
Dean, your words are entrancing. I love the feelings and impressions that surface while reading this fascinating piece. Owls are such magnificent creatures, you've captured their mystery beautifully! :)Linda
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Dean, your words are entrancing. I love the feelings and impressions that surface while reading this fascinating piece. Owls are such magnificent creatures, you've captured their mystery beautifully! :)Linda
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks very much, Linda. I'm really happy that you liked it.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Dean, back in the late 50's was my first encounter with a barn owl. My best friend Scott invited me to go to his uncle john's farm for the weekend. It was dark out and we were playing the hayloft. We were having so much fun that neither had noticed any movements. I nor Scott knew what a barn owl was, let alone seeing one. Suddenly, the most terrifying screech that I ever heard came to our ears. We were scared beyond scared as we ran back to his uncle's house. Sitting on the front porch, out of breath; we just looked at one another. Scott's uncle came out of his house, smiling. He said it is just a barn owl. With flashlight in hand, he took us out to the barn to see if we could find it. We found this beautiful bird and we were never scared again.
Dean, this is a very good poem that has an easy flow with an excellent rhyme scheme. Well done my friend and thanks for the memories. Take care,,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Dean, back in the late 50's was my first encounter with a barn owl. My best friend Scott invited me to go to his uncle john's farm for the weekend. It was dark out and we were playing the hayloft. We were having so much fun that neither had noticed any movements. I nor Scott knew what a barn owl was, let alone seeing one. Suddenly, the most terrifying screech that I ever heard came to our ears. We were scared beyond scared as we ran back to his uncle's house. Sitting on the front porch, out of breath; we just looked at one another. Scott's uncle came out of his house, smiling. He said it is just a barn owl. With flashlight in hand, he took us out to the barn to see if we could find it. We found this beautiful bird and we were never scared again.
Dean, this is a very good poem that has an easy flow with an excellent rhyme scheme. Well done my friend and thanks for the memories. Take care,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks for sharing your story with me, Jim. That's pretty much the sort of thing that happened to me too, but I was alone. This is based on an actual experience I had as a young boy.
It's great to see someone have a similar experience. Then they can full understand just what a terrifying sound they truly make.
Comment from L.M.Mullins
How do you get those cool pictures inside with your poem?
The poem is fantastic. It brings back one of the few great memories of my childhood. Great post
L.M.Mullins
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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How do you get those cool pictures inside with your poem?
The poem is fantastic. It brings back one of the few great memories of my childhood. Great post
L.M.Mullins
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks for your fantastic review, and for those six stars as well, L.M. I'm sincerely grateful. This was based on an actual incident from my childhood as well. Small world, huh?
Comment from c_lucas
In many mythologies, the own is associated with a forth-coming death. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Excellant job of writing
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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In many mythologies, the own is associated with a forth-coming death. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Excellant job of writing
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks very much, Charlie. I truly appreciate that.
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You're more than welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from Green Lake Girl
A wonderful, slightly spooky tribute to the Barn Owl. They are a beautiful and dramatic bird worthy of this beautiful poem. As usual, skillfully penned with great author's notes.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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A wonderful, slightly spooky tribute to the Barn Owl. They are a beautiful and dramatic bird worthy of this beautiful poem. As usual, skillfully penned with great author's notes.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Green Lake Girl, I really appreciate you sharing your opinions with me about this one.
It probably comes across as a bit spooky because it is based on an actual event from when I was a very young boy. It is the first time I can remember actually being terrified.
Thanks again for your excellent review, and for the six stars.
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I grew up on a farm and those owls were "regulars". Plenty of rodents for them. In adulthood, it probably takes a lot more to terrify you now. :)
Check out my profile page for more literary humor. Thanks again for the Photobucket tutorial.
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You're very welcome, anytime.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Dean - LOL it's just like males squawking & screaming their heads off...ok for me this had a sense of haunting quiet till the scream. Even though your imagery is dark, the feeling for me was one of connecting to night itself.
Strong well penned lines and great rhymes - overall great work my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Dear Dean - LOL it's just like males squawking & screaming their heads off...ok for me this had a sense of haunting quiet till the scream. Even though your imagery is dark, the feeling for me was one of connecting to night itself.
Strong well penned lines and great rhymes - overall great work my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks for reading it for me, Maureen. I appreciate that!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A great poem Dean - and how refreshing to get a down to earth happy ending from you. You give some good alliteration - 'sentient silence split' - 'frozen form' 'freezing frigid'. You cleverly kept us in the dark till the end in this poem, well written in good abab form. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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A great poem Dean - and how refreshing to get a down to earth happy ending from you. You give some good alliteration - 'sentient silence split' - 'frozen form' 'freezing frigid'. You cleverly kept us in the dark till the end in this poem, well written in good abab form. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Dorothy, I'm very pleased that you liked this one. Thanks for the warm and receptive review.
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent poem about the barn owl, Dean. I have only seen one once, while hunting years ago. I was walking down the last hill to Round Lake, and caught a glimpse of him on a maple branch. He was so big, sitting there, much bigger than I ever imagined. I watched him for a few minutes until he finally spread his wings and swooped down through the trees. His wingspread was so long, and no flapping... nature's glider. He was just gorgeous. What a treat to see him in the wild that! I've never heard him cry though. I've heard hawks and eagles, but never the owl.
Nice imagery here,
"Moon's silhouette, I shan't forget,
shadows on the grassy floor,
lustrous beams bright pirouette"
and here,
"Upon a rusted weather vane,
sitting high atop the roof,
lone barn owl perched"
Good alliteration here,
"behind barn's weathered wall"
"each eerie screaming squall"
"sentient silence split"
I especially liked the way you gave this bird a personality,
"Now every time I hear his call
I run to him with gladness,
to meet him there upon the wall,
and marvel at his sadness."
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing. I wish I had another six.
cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Excellent poem about the barn owl, Dean. I have only seen one once, while hunting years ago. I was walking down the last hill to Round Lake, and caught a glimpse of him on a maple branch. He was so big, sitting there, much bigger than I ever imagined. I watched him for a few minutes until he finally spread his wings and swooped down through the trees. His wingspread was so long, and no flapping... nature's glider. He was just gorgeous. What a treat to see him in the wild that! I've never heard him cry though. I've heard hawks and eagles, but never the owl.
Nice imagery here,
"Moon's silhouette, I shan't forget,
shadows on the grassy floor,
lustrous beams bright pirouette"
and here,
"Upon a rusted weather vane,
sitting high atop the roof,
lone barn owl perched"
Good alliteration here,
"behind barn's weathered wall"
"each eerie screaming squall"
"sentient silence split"
I especially liked the way you gave this bird a personality,
"Now every time I hear his call
I run to him with gladness,
to meet him there upon the wall,
and marvel at his sadness."
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing. I wish I had another six.
cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thanks a bunch, Kimbob, I truly appreciate such a detailed review. Don't worry about the six, my friend, the fact that you enjoyed it is reward enough for me. Besides, everyone knows when they post a work late in the week, most all of the sixes have been handed out already. That's why the postings drop to a quarter of what they normally are on Monday through Wednesday, everyone's clamoring for those six star reviews, saving their stuff for later.
Again, thanks so much!
