They Try to Box Me In
Rhyming Quatrains193 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
LOL. Sawyer's thinking outside the box. That's the way to be. Like how the picture at first led me to believe it was simply about putting him in a box, but that was just a picture showing that, in your poem, thoughts need to be free as you write:
"A box cannot contain
what lives within a mind,"
Very thought provoking. Les
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LOL. Sawyer's thinking outside the box. That's the way to be. Like how the picture at first led me to believe it was simply about putting him in a box, but that was just a picture showing that, in your poem, thoughts need to be free as you write:
"A box cannot contain
what lives within a mind,"
Very thought provoking. Les
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
Comment from Shaun Hess
That's a very ambitious sounding poem! I wish I were that ambitious. You had a very nice structure with the syllables and rhythm of it all. One thing I did notice was that the reader would almost have to always stop after each line to keep the rhythm.- to read a line- then stop- establish the beginning stress of the syllable for the next line- finish line- repeat. Great poem though! :)
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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That's a very ambitious sounding poem! I wish I were that ambitious. You had a very nice structure with the syllables and rhythm of it all. One thing I did notice was that the reader would almost have to always stop after each line to keep the rhythm.- to read a line- then stop- establish the beginning stress of the syllable for the next line- finish line- repeat. Great poem though! :)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Shaun, thank you for your thoughtful feedback. Brooke
Comment from Ben Colder
What a little man! He is great and spoiled rotten by a Grandmother, do you suppose? Well done Brooke. Blessings to you and the bunch.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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What a little man! He is great and spoiled rotten by a Grandmother, do you suppose? Well done Brooke. Blessings to you and the bunch.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, Ben - from me he gets poems and phone conversations. From others he gets lots of "stuff." :-) Brooke
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That's the way kids are, they have more fun with the boxes toys come in than with the toys. Andy was a pal to build Sawyer a fort. Very cute poem and picture. xxx Nancy
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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That's the way kids are, they have more fun with the boxes toys come in than with the toys. Andy was a pal to build Sawyer a fort. Very cute poem and picture. xxx Nancy
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Nancy, thank you so much :-) Andy is a big oversized kid - Miranda is sure he had far more fun with the fort building than Sawyer did. LOL Brooke
Comment from NicciFaye
I can't tell you in words how powerful this is from the most innocent perspective and thoughts, yet beyond realms and my spirit agrees that..this is by far the best stanza of this entire joyful piece, and I wish I had a 10 star!
A box cannot contain
what lives within a mind,
for minds were never made
to have their thoughts confined.
That is a quote I will give credit to you anytime I use it and the mind wasn't made to have our thoughts confined.
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I can't tell you in words how powerful this is from the most innocent perspective and thoughts, yet beyond realms and my spirit agrees that..this is by far the best stanza of this entire joyful piece, and I wish I had a 10 star!
A box cannot contain
what lives within a mind,
for minds were never made
to have their thoughts confined.
That is a quote I will give credit to you anytime I use it and the mind wasn't made to have our thoughts confined.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
Comment from simonbagh
The minds were never made
to have their thoughts confined.
Imagination knows
no boundaries or walls.
It follows no commands
except when freedom calls
freedom..........? it very nicely written and a true theme, well done
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The minds were never made
to have their thoughts confined.
Imagination knows
no boundaries or walls.
It follows no commands
except when freedom calls
freedom..........? it very nicely written and a true theme, well done
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
Comment from Joy Graham
Lots of fun to make forts out of boxes :) When the bunkbeds arrived, Keaton thought he'd like to keep the boxes. They were too big to keep in our house lol! Nice try.
I spent the afternoon reading some children's poetry and found some by A.A. Milne as well as a few by J. Patrick Lewis. I even ordered a book by J. Patrick Lewis. I've decided to dedicate some poems to Keaton, Mason and Simone since I miss them so much. It makes me feel closer to them. I need to hone my children's poetry skills and see what's acceptable out there.
Great poem, my friend. I enjoyed it a lot!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Lots of fun to make forts out of boxes :) When the bunkbeds arrived, Keaton thought he'd like to keep the boxes. They were too big to keep in our house lol! Nice try.
I spent the afternoon reading some children's poetry and found some by A.A. Milne as well as a few by J. Patrick Lewis. I even ordered a book by J. Patrick Lewis. I've decided to dedicate some poems to Keaton, Mason and Simone since I miss them so much. It makes me feel closer to them. I need to hone my children's poetry skills and see what's acceptable out there.
Great poem, my friend. I enjoyed it a lot!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Joy - Miranda and Andy just throw all their big boxes into the garage - the cars sit in the driveway :-) Miranda orders all her diapers and baby supplies and lots of other stuff online, so they have an endless supply. I'm glad you're planning poems for your grandchildren. I posted my children's poetry course this morning but it hasn't shown up yet, so I'll be immersed in kids' poetry soon too :-)
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A great poem and cute but also very true. We are often criticized when we think 'outside the box' and creativity is often frowned upon. The picture reminds me of the child=sized tent we had in the living room when my son was young. He absolutely loved it. Take care, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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A great poem and cute but also very true. We are often criticized when we think 'outside the box' and creativity is often frowned upon. The picture reminds me of the child=sized tent we had in the living room when my son was young. He absolutely loved it. Take care, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Debbie, thank you so much :-) Yeah, kids get into school and have teachers who tell them the sky needs to be blue and the crayons have to stay within the lines, and little by little many start believing conformity trumps creativity. Brooke
Comment from Sasha
You continue to amaze me with your cleverness and awesome ability to write poems about anything. Delightful, fun, and absolutely precious poem about the endless joy of your dear grandson. I really enjoyed this one. Loved the smooth flow and excellent rhyme...especially love the photograph, another gem to add to the growing number.
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You continue to amaze me with your cleverness and awesome ability to write poems about anything. Delightful, fun, and absolutely precious poem about the endless joy of your dear grandson. I really enjoyed this one. Loved the smooth flow and excellent rhyme...especially love the photograph, another gem to add to the growing number.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
Comment from c_lucas
There is no limits to a child's imagination. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
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There is no limits to a child's imagination. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
