Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, brooke, you did an excellent job writing this bumble bee poem that combines imagery and whimsy in a beautiful way. i enjoyed reading it...

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

sweetwoodjax, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Dutchie

Excellent

Such a lovely thought: I wish I were a buble bee...
Spring started early here this year and the bumble bee is very bussy in my garden, because the flowers bloom early.
A poem so well expressed about the sweetness of life.
Really a joy to read. Fia

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

Fia, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from bloomingsun

Excellent

As a bumble bee lover myself, I concur with the sentiment expressed here. Cute, good form, easy rhyme and a delight.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

bloomingsun, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Such a sweet poem, gathering in the sugar of days, loved this! Nature is the inspiration of so much lovely poetry, and you paint the most delightful pictures with nature! Blessings tonight!

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

justjo, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

Outside my office window at home, I have a moonflower, and its wonderful scent attracts hundreds of bees. They made a soft hum all day long :). This is well written.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

CR, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Nice one, Brooke. An uplifting message voiced wonderfully well with the counterpoint response to not being a bee--

Pitch perfect closing after the I'm not a bee' crescendo in firs three stanzas:

I'll gather in the sweetness
wherever seeds of joy are sown
in fields of life's completeness.


Buzzing with bliss!

Love all the rhymes and the bouncy lighthearted rhythm suits the tone and tenor of your theme well.

Good phonetics with consonance of C here:

exploring fields of clover,
awash in waves of succulence

and alliteration of P in perfumed pools and F here:

I'd harvest drops of fragrant gold
contained in every flower.

Love that phrasing.


Nice presentation too.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

rama devi, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke

reply by rama devi on 31-Mar-2014

:-))

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Hmmm. . .interesting cross-pollination
a bumble bee gathering up
nectar's promised happiness
versus
a human being collecting
moments of life's sweetness.
Both storing needed nutrients :-)

Nice write!

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

Leineco, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from yarnteller

Excellent

Lively upbeat poem that has a singsong quality to it. You managed to capture the bumble bee's work ethic with fun words. Enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014

yarnteller, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Here you go again, Brooke, robbing me of words other than AWWWWW!!! This is so sweet! An absolutely charming write, chock full of imaginary fun (for I'd like to be a bee for awhile too). You're amazing. This is so full of LIFE. It buzz/hums right off the screen! Pure joy. :0)

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014

Dawn, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

They are fascinating and beautiful to watch. But is sting can be fateful to some with allergies, so warn Sawyer not to mess with them. I love some of the images:
awash in waves of succulence
finding perfumed pools/of sugar
harvest drops of fragrant gold
fields of life's completeness.

I hope you put these all in a book someday. Call it Sawyer Inspired. :-)

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2014

Spitfire, thank you so much :-) Brooke