Erecting the D-Fense
It's Rogue FRYday (Please read author notes)19 total reviews
Comment from paulah60
I hate to admit it, but this could have been a little bit of a turn on; mind you, only inasmuch as it speaks to that itty bitty rogue-loving part of me! But then...I got to this: 'massive rack of ham' WTF! LOL!! Talk about a come down, not to mention that it's a tad unkosher! And just think of all those nitrites. Not good for a girl's health! LOL
Notwithstanding this, the rogue doesn't disappoint. His misogyny is growing legs! It looks like someone has put the wind up him (or a tornado, perchance? LOL). Although, with rogueys voracious appetite (no longer a "meagre pecker") it is turning into more of a food fight than a f*ckfest LMAO!!!
My favourite lines? A tough call, but being the brainiac that I am (LOL), I have a little bit of a penchant for:
'They claim a gamed rejection of my egoistic bid,
Or say that my affection was infected by my id,'. What a case study you would be for Freud if the dude were alive (he'd definitely have to re-vision his notion of 'superego', which would take on a whole new meaning, literally)!
You've given some awesome sevenses here, D(avid)-Fense, but I ain't got no sixes ;-)
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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I hate to admit it, but this could have been a little bit of a turn on; mind you, only inasmuch as it speaks to that itty bitty rogue-loving part of me! But then...I got to this: 'massive rack of ham' WTF! LOL!! Talk about a come down, not to mention that it's a tad unkosher! And just think of all those nitrites. Not good for a girl's health! LOL
Notwithstanding this, the rogue doesn't disappoint. His misogyny is growing legs! It looks like someone has put the wind up him (or a tornado, perchance? LOL). Although, with rogueys voracious appetite (no longer a "meagre pecker") it is turning into more of a food fight than a f*ckfest LMAO!!!
My favourite lines? A tough call, but being the brainiac that I am (LOL), I have a little bit of a penchant for:
'They claim a gamed rejection of my egoistic bid,
Or say that my affection was infected by my id,'. What a case study you would be for Freud if the dude were alive (he'd definitely have to re-vision his notion of 'superego', which would take on a whole new meaning, literally)!
You've given some awesome sevenses here, D(avid)-Fense, but I ain't got no sixes ;-)
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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I can always custom-write them to fit your palate, Paula. ;)
Thanks so much, my friend, for stopping by, and for offering the best compliment you can give the old rogue for his latest attempt to stanch the attack. Much appreciated. I'm not surprised you chose those lines, too, and they were for you, knowing your psych side so well.
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custom-write you say? ok, not into fat: gimme a juicy eye-fillet. Try rhyming THAT one! LOL
Comment from Donya Quijote
I am writing this from school as the school day is just about to end. I must warn you that if my review seems to lack sense that that is the reason why. I am being inundated with late work as formerly lazy now desperate students try to improve their grades. Today is the last day of the marking period.
I just love these roguish retorts. They always bring a smile to my face, even on a bad day. It's amazing how you are able to do this Friday after Friday and keep me coming back for more.
Your imagery and word play are above par to say the least. The plethora of fun puns, internal rhyme and just your word choice make this a distracting read (I mean that in a good way, as in the combination takes me away from drudgery of this day). The bouncy rhythmic quality of your heptameter creates another level of sensation. A thrilling ride it is and so much fun to read aloud (which I must do in whispers so not to allow more tender ears to hear).
Looking forward to another rogue poem next Friday. Now I must take a peek at your recommendation. I may stop back again and add to my brief review after I rest weary mind.
Another good one, and thus far you have never failed to impress.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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I am writing this from school as the school day is just about to end. I must warn you that if my review seems to lack sense that that is the reason why. I am being inundated with late work as formerly lazy now desperate students try to improve their grades. Today is the last day of the marking period.
I just love these roguish retorts. They always bring a smile to my face, even on a bad day. It's amazing how you are able to do this Friday after Friday and keep me coming back for more.
Your imagery and word play are above par to say the least. The plethora of fun puns, internal rhyme and just your word choice make this a distracting read (I mean that in a good way, as in the combination takes me away from drudgery of this day). The bouncy rhythmic quality of your heptameter creates another level of sensation. A thrilling ride it is and so much fun to read aloud (which I must do in whispers so not to allow more tender ears to hear).
Looking forward to another rogue poem next Friday. Now I must take a peek at your recommendation. I may stop back again and add to my brief review after I rest weary mind.
Another good one, and thus far you have never failed to impress.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Donya, for taking the time (and taking the chance) to read this while you're toiling away at school. I always appreciate your time, your kind words, and your excellent observations, and your review made perfect sense. I rule appreciate it!
David
Comment from DonandVicki
Looks like the Rouge has one UP on the sisterhood. Good luck with this one and I am sure that they will try and pussy whip one or more back at ya. Don and Vicki
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Looks like the Rouge has one UP on the sisterhood. Good luck with this one and I am sure that they will try and pussy whip one or more back at ya. Don and Vicki
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Don, I have no doubt they're already wangling the pens, my friend. Thank you! :)
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with haste/taste...sickle/pickle...jock/cock. Good internal rhyming. Good description and alliteration. Good eye catching photo followed by a message filled with humor.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Good use of the aabb rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with haste/taste...sickle/pickle...jock/cock. Good internal rhyming. Good description and alliteration. Good eye catching photo followed by a message filled with humor.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, RR!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Oops! I was so anxious to respond with a poem that I forgot to review this. You and Nancy (Honeycomb) both write in iambic heptameter... never saw anyone else do that. It has a nice feel to it. :)
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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Oops! I was so anxious to respond with a poem that I forgot to review this. You and Nancy (Honeycomb) both write in iambic heptameter... never saw anyone else do that. It has a nice feel to it. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks, my friend. I think I influenced Nancy on that, and since it gives it kind of a rollicking pace, it's perfect for these silly pieces. I appreciate the look-see, and your excellent riposte.
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By the way, I just edited the notes to inform people of your riposte. I think I'll do that from now on so people can see exactly what we're doing.
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Thanks!
Comment from rama devi
Usually I never open the mature warning posts but when they come from you, I cannot resist--LOL! So witty and well crafted, I have to admit. All those internal rhymes and assonances make it splendid to read aloud...and then the puns...what fun! And the rhymes are so clever. I've got a slow computer today and will not list every phonetic nuance or clever content with individual applause but will simply give a standing ovation and highlight the funniest spots:
The extended metaphor here and deftly woven assonances make this a remarkable stanza:
They skewer and they grill me, baste and bake my parts with haste,
But fillies, you won't kill me -- you're just seasoning for taste.
Beware -- my next ERECTION will directly wreck you, ma'am,
While rubberized protection wraps my massive rack of ham.
LOL-
It bends and shifts the angle, so the lift is like a sickle --
Not hanging like a bangle, but inverted like a pickle.
ROTFL:
They claim a gamed rejection of my egoistic bid,
Or say that my affection was infected by my id,
Good riposte:
I've heard the wordy rumors from the groom-and-do-me set,
Who let me in their bloomers like they owe the rogue a debt.
Effective closing stanza, too.
Bravo, you wicked Rogue.
:) rd
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Usually I never open the mature warning posts but when they come from you, I cannot resist--LOL! So witty and well crafted, I have to admit. All those internal rhymes and assonances make it splendid to read aloud...and then the puns...what fun! And the rhymes are so clever. I've got a slow computer today and will not list every phonetic nuance or clever content with individual applause but will simply give a standing ovation and highlight the funniest spots:
The extended metaphor here and deftly woven assonances make this a remarkable stanza:
They skewer and they grill me, baste and bake my parts with haste,
But fillies, you won't kill me -- you're just seasoning for taste.
Beware -- my next ERECTION will directly wreck you, ma'am,
While rubberized protection wraps my massive rack of ham.
LOL-
It bends and shifts the angle, so the lift is like a sickle --
Not hanging like a bangle, but inverted like a pickle.
ROTFL:
They claim a gamed rejection of my egoistic bid,
Or say that my affection was infected by my id,
Good riposte:
I've heard the wordy rumors from the groom-and-do-me set,
Who let me in their bloomers like they owe the rogue a debt.
Effective closing stanza, too.
Bravo, you wicked Rogue.
:) rd
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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My friend, that means a lot to me, as I realize this is lighter fare, but I don't think some people stop to consider that it's not as easy as it looks. I appreciate the sixer, and the validation that my efforts were worth the look and the review. Have a great weekend, my friend.
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Ah yes, it does take work to conjure up these imaginative metaphors and all those poetic devices. It's most impressive! Have a great weekend, too, dear David. :)
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:)
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:-))
Comment from Aiona
Marillion, another lively rhyming poem with meter. Is bawdy your signature? I know you sometimes write non-bawdy, but it certainly is less common. Only one typo....
"directly wreck you, m' am,"
Apostrophe is meant to substitute letters in a word.
Word, I think is "madame," in which case it should be
"directly wreck you, ma'am,"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Marillion, another lively rhyming poem with meter. Is bawdy your signature? I know you sometimes write non-bawdy, but it certainly is less common. Only one typo....
"directly wreck you, m' am,"
Apostrophe is meant to substitute letters in a word.
Word, I think is "madame," in which case it should be
"directly wreck you, ma'am,"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Aiona. It didn't look right to me, but spell check didn't correct it, so I just had a mental block. Fixed that, and I appreciate your sharp eye!
I enjoy the bawdy stuff, and have had more than my share of it lately, but hoping to get back to more meaningful stuff now.
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Hey! I hope you don't mean to imply that bawdy stuff can't be meaningful! :) I was merely observing that lots of your poems have sexual metaphors or innuendos. But sex can most definitely be meaningful!!!
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Not at all, my friend. But this series (the Rogue) is meant just for fun, and to stoke some Muses, which it most definitely has, but it's also created some hostility towards me.
Comment from A Jesterstear
Bravo... big M. Another masterpiece that was well worth waiting for. As usual rhyme and flow were perfect, humour second to none. The dyslexic hens must be looking at you with rose coloured testicles! Great write. AJ.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Bravo... big M. Another masterpiece that was well worth waiting for. As usual rhyme and flow were perfect, humour second to none. The dyslexic hens must be looking at you with rose coloured testicles! Great write. AJ.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Many thanks, brother, for your great review, and that sixer, my friend. Always appreciated, AJ!
Comment from 24chas
Yep, it's sixer city for this one, Marillion, without a doubt. Another rollicking and rolling verse to cut into those trying to cut into you, and meeting their match, and their master. Stellar, dude.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Yep, it's sixer city for this one, Marillion, without a doubt. Another rollicking and rolling verse to cut into those trying to cut into you, and meeting their match, and their master. Stellar, dude.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Chas! I appreciate the entertaining review and the sixer, bro.
